


An Everything Lost

by gallaFICh (xiuchen_though)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, First Meetings, Happy Ending, M/M, Memory Loss, Slow Burn, ian left but came back and treated his bipolarity, ian loses his memory, mickey loses his memory, svetlana never got pregnant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5858911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiuchen_though/pseuds/gallaFICh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey and Ian are involved in a hit and run accident that leaves them both with bruises and broken bones. But as if that wasn't enough, both lose their memory of the past years. They don't remember each other, they don't remember a family that is now parted in two again, the prognostic is not good.<br/>Will their memories return? What happens when they unknowingly meet again and get along alarmingly well?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The worst it could get

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is, again! For those who remember, I started posting this story around a year ago but stopped writing it. I never forgot it though, so now I'm doing it again, writing in advance so what happened last time doesn't repeat itself, the lack of time for writing. The chapters that had once been posted (I deleted the first fic) have been slightly altered, so don't skip them if you remember this fic and want to reread it.
> 
> For those who feel like enrolling in this fic again, thank you so much for the trust, i will try to make things better this time. I wanna finish this fic, i can't wait to show you all the ending. For now, I have around ten chapters done but there will be quite a few more.
> 
> If you are new to this fic, i hope you enjoy it! <3

The problem of being in love with Ian Gallagher was that it was impossible to shift your eyes away from him. Whether you were looking at his pinkish lips, surrounded by fainting freckles, or his amazing abs, or, when in bed (and bathroom, couch, kitchen balcony- pretty much everywhere), his magnificent dick, you just couldn't stop staring. Or at least Mickey couldn't.

He always thought the problem would fade away as the years went by, but here they were, five years later, and Mickey's eyes never got tired. Even so, the one thing that was probably Mickey's favourite feature of Ian, even better than his dick and distinct mop of red hair, were his eyes. A green brighter than leaves, they were beautiful, and whenever they were talking, Mickey would always stare right into them.

 

The problem of being in love with Mickey Milkovich was that he never changed his true self. Years could go by (and they did), but Mickey never really changed. It may have all started with quick booty calls, but even when it evolved into a relationship, into moving in together, into a marriage proposal the week before (whose proof laid on Ian's finger), Mickey was still the same person he had always been: more swears than actual words in one sentence, tough on the outside, but inside one of the most caring people Ian knew, all fuck u-up tattoos (and other more these days), and piercing blue eyes. Oh, those eyes! Seriously, Ian would never get tired of those, it should be illegal to have eyes like that and use them the way Mickey did, eyeing Ian with an intensity that was only compared to the one Ian had when looking back at his boyfriend.

 

And so there they were, walking out of the school where Ian worked as a preschool teacher, looking intensely at each other. Mickey had just left the tattoo parlour where he worked, in order to go meet Ian, as it was their usual routine.

They lived in an apartment ten blocks away, so they always went to their jobs by foot. Mickey would pick up Ian later and when arriving home, Ian would prepare dinner while Mickey practised some tattoo drawings. The only think Mickey was actually good at in the kitchen was baking cookies, but those were usually reserved for weekends, because when finished, they always ended up covered in cookie dough having hot and heavy sex in the kitchen.

It had supposed to be just another day, like all the others. But their eye-looking habit, which should have never been a problem, became one when they were crossing the road. The 80 mph car didn't see them, and neither did they.

*

Sirens. The faint sound of sirens in the distance. And people. People were touching him. He couldn't open his eyes. It hurt too much just trying. But that's all Mickey assimilated before being taken by darkness again.

*

Everything hurt. Ian didn't know where he was, and didn't have the strength to open his eyes. But he knew everything hurt. Was that an ambulance siren? He didn't know. And he felt so tired. He went back to sleep.

*

Mickey was heavily bandaged. He could feel it even with his eyes closed. And what was that smell? Fuck, he was in a hospital. Ugh. He might as well open his eyes, even though it proved to be a motherfucking effort.

His right arm was nested against his chest, and the only thing not bandaged was his hand, his FUCK knuckles showing. He tried to shift a bit. Wait. No. That was impossible. Broken ribs. Fuck, there had to be at least three. It hurt like a bitch. He also felt like his head was being squeezed. It made sense, there was a bandage around it.

As he was considering all these facts, a brunette nurse passed by his room, realizing he was awake.

"Hello, you are awake. Are you feeling okay?" She asked.

"The fuck happened to me?"

She gave him a faint smile. "I can see you don't feel terrible."

"My back hurts a fuckload. Why did I end up here? When?"

"Seeing that you seem stable, I think it's better if your family explains you everything."

"Yeah, yeah, that can be."

And after that she left.

 *

The waiting room was filled with impatient Gallaghers and a tired Mandy. Debbie and Carl were leaning against each other, sleeping. Mandy was curled up in her chair, trying to calm down the panic she had been feeling for the past days. Fiona, surprisingly, was rubbing Mandy's back while chewing on her finger, and Lip was working on his laptop. He said it calmed him down.

They had been there for three days, almost never leaving, their boys could wake up at any minute. Both Fiona, Lip and Mandy had put a few days off at work, too stressed out for that, and since it was summer, Debbie had no college and Carl no school. Only Liam had stayed at Sheila's.

"Who's here for Michael Milkovich?" they heard. Mandy, Lip and Fiona rose fast.

"He's awake, you may go see him now." The nurse said.

Mandy let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Is everything okay with him?"

"He says he feels some pain, but aside that he is physically fine. We still don't know about any brain damage. As the neurologist explained before, he hit his head quite hard."

Everyone nodded. Fiona turned to Mandy. "Lets go see him? He's probably already asking about Ian to the walls."

Mandy gave her a shy smile. "Yeah, lets go see him."

Fiona went to wake up Carl and Debbie. "Hey, Carl, Debs!" she said while poking them "Mickey's awake."

Debbie jerked upright immediately, while Carl mumbled at her side. "He woke up? Can we see him? What about Ian?"

"Yes, we are going to see him now, and we still don't have news on Ian, but you know they already took him out of induced coma, he can wake up any minute now."

Debbie nodded. "Yes, I know. Let's go see Mickey then." She got up, telling Carl to move his ass.

 

Mickey was looking at the TV in his room when he saw Mandy entering, arm dropped over a redhead girl. More people came on their toes. The fuck? He eyed them strangely before realising he knew them. “What the fuck?” He mumbled.

"Mickey, how are you feeling?" The redhead girl asked.

"Hum... I'm good…? Mandy, can you come over here for a sec?" Mandy approached the bed. "Aren't those the Gallagher kids from three blocks away? What are they doing here?" He whispered to her, though said family heard him pretty well too.

Mandy froze in her place. No. No no no. She was too afraid to dare thinking what might be happening with her brother. "Yes, those are the Gallaghers…"

"Why the fuck are they here? Didn’t ask to see the neighbours, I asked to see family. And since when do you get along with them?"

Mandy's face turned paperwhite. "Can you just give me a sec Mick? I'll explain it to you right away."

She turned to the Gallaghers. They had heard everything. Debbie's mouth was slightly open as tears started filling her eyes and her cheeks reddening. She was gonna cry.

Throughout the years Debbie and Mickey had developed a strong friendship. She was the first to support his relationship with Ian and it was thanks to her that Mickey really blended with the Gallaghers. Lip assumed from the beginning the thug was a bad influence, and Fiona was apprehensive. Only Carl found him cool, for obvious reasons. But then Debbie would do things like look at Ian before dinner and ask "Mickey's coming right?" And her brother would stare at the rest of their siblings without an answer. And "Yes, he's coming. Call him." would always be Debbie's answer to her own question.

After those situations, Mickey started coming to their dinners more frequently, sometimes with Mandy tagging along, and most times staying over (that was the bad part of it all, Debbie listening at night to things like "Fuck, that all you got Gallagher?!", "You want me to pound you like a soldier, Milkovich?!"). At first he wouldn't talk at all, just a few swears and a "pass me that" sometimes, being Ian the exception. But as months went by, he started accommodating to them. He wasn't being so rude anymore, and was starting to enjoy his in-laws (even if there was still some tension between Lip and him). Mandy always kept saying how different her brother had become.

When Ian and Mickey moved to their own apartment two years later, they kept the tradition, going to dinner with the family almost every Friday, much to Debbie's joy.

So it was understandable that the situation would affect the 18-year-old a lot.

Lip rubbed a warm hand behind her back. "It's okay Debs, don't worry." He whispered.

"I think we should go outside." Mandy intervened. "I'll be right back Mick."

"Kay." He grumped.

 

Debbie's tears rolled down as soon as they reached the corridor. "What the fuck? He doesn't remember us! He doesn't remember Ian!" She cried.

"Keep calm Debs, he didn't say anything about Ian." Fiona said, trying to calm her sister down.

Lip interrupted. "Fiona, don't do that, it won't help. We both know that it's exactly because he didn't say anything about Ian that we know he lost his memory. Otherwise he would have already left his bed and looked for our brother himself."

They heard some muffled sounds from behind them. The Gallaghers realised how quiet Mandy was. She was crying. A very silent cry, probably the only one she knew growing up in the Milkovich house of horrors, but a cry still. All of them knew Mandy hardly ever did that. Fiona stepped ahead and gave her a fierce hug.

"How am I gonna tell Ian this? How am I gonna handle Mickey not remembering you all, his fucking family??"

"Don't worry Mandy, we're together in this, we'll figure it out, and you don't know if the amnesia isn't temporary, don't panic." Fiona assured her.

The same nurse that had led them to Mickey's room appeared at their side. "Excuse me- Oh, is everything alright? Is there something wrong with Michael?"

It was Carl, who hadn't spoken until then, who explained "Mickey doesn't remember us, only his sister. Is he gonna be like that forever?"

The nurse seemed surprise. She clearly hadn't expect such outcome. "Oh. But he had such a nice recovery... I'll talk to the neurologist who’s treating them so she can analyse the situation. But why might he not remember you? Weren't you all his family? You said so in the reception."

"Mandy here is his sister, the rest of us are his in-laws." Lip answered. The nurse nodded. "He and our brother were in a car accident, he's in a room nearby."

"Oh, yes, right of course, I almost forgot about that. That's why I came looking for you. Ian Gallagher right?" The nurse continued.

"Yes, that's our brother."

"So I figured. I went to ask for his family in the waiting room, but then I remembered you were here for two people. Your brother has woken up as well. He is asking for you."

 All of them, even Debbie and Mandy, who up until then had been crying, smiled at the nurse. "Can we go see him?" Fiona asked.

"Of course. Meanwhile I'm gonna explain Michael's amnesia to their doctor, so she can see him. If there's any problem ask for doctor Imanu or for me, I’m nurse Skye."

They all nodded and were heading to Ian's room when Mandy turned around. "Excuse me, nurse?"

"Yes?"

"Can you please tell Mickey that I went to the bathroom or something?"

"Yes of course. I will do it right away." And with that she left.

 

Growling was the first thing Ian was able to do as soon as he came to consciousness. Everything hurt as fuck. What had happened? Why was his leg in so much pain? He opened his eyes and everything sort of made sense. He was in a hospital, alone in a room. His left leg was heavily bandaged and hanging from the ceiling, and he could also feel some broken ribs. He put a hand to his head.  _Ouch_  he thought. There was a huge Band-Aid on the back of his calf.

Ian remembered that hospital beds had buttons to call for someone. And he definitely needed a nurse right now to explain him his situation. Three minutes later, a short brunette with shoulder length hair, around his age, entered. She smiled. "I see you have woken up. My name is Skye and I'm the nurse that has been taking care of you for the past three days."

Ian's eyes widened. "I've been out for three days?! Wow. And hmm... Where's my family, do they know?"

"Yes, they are in the waiting room if I'm not wrong. I can go tell them that you are awake."

"Can they see me now?"

"Of course. But first, do you feel alright?"

"Yes, I think so. I mean, my leg hurts a lot, and my head, but otherwise I'm fine."

The nurse nodded. "That's very good, I'm going to call you family right away."

And she did. Around five minutes later, there they were. Fiona, Carl, and a crying Debbie. Only Liam was missing. And behind them was someone. She was wearing less eyeliner that what he recalled, and had better clothes on, but everyone at school used to know who she was, and he still recognised her. He had sort of been friends with her for a while. She was Mandy "Skankovich", the high school whore. But why was she here?

"Hey" Fiona greeted, smiling.

"How are you?" Mandy asked, also wearing a faint smile.

"My leg hurts." Then he pointed at her. "Hey… Mandy… You are Mandy, right? Mandy Milkovich?"

Everyone in the room lost their smile. No. This could not be possible. What the flying fuck.

"Yes, that's Mandy." Lip said warily.

Ian smiled. "I remember you, from high school. You had your brothers chasing me around once. I remember that, but I haven’t seen you around lately that I can recall. Why are you here?” He wasn’t angry ate her presence amongst his family, just curious. But everybody seemed so speechless and confused. “You’re probably dating -"

"Ian, do you know who Mickey Milkovich is?" Lip interrupted.

Ian stared at him in confusion. "Probably her brother right? I mean, Milkovich ain't a that common surname. But I don't think I've ever seen him. Aside from that time I said, I guess he was one of those chasing me." he laughed. "But I don't remember him. Good to see you though, Mandy."

Mandy was in loss of words. What were the odds of both of them having lost their memory of each other? This could not be happening.

She turned her back. She was starting to cry again. She left the room in a hurry, and as soon as she reached the corridor, she allowed herself to slide down to the floor and cry in her knees. She had already lost the brother she now knew, the Mickey that had changed for so much better because Ian was in his life. But now her best friend was gone too, the two most important people in her life, her saviours, lost to their amnesia.

Debbie, who had been quiet the whole time (she was too shocked to say anything), sat down next to her, hugging her sister-in-law. This was affecting the redhead as much as it was affecting Mandy.

They let the tears flow down their cheeks, sobbing in each other’s shoulders, as the realisation of how awful the whole thing was downed on them.


	2. Big Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was hard for me to decide which job would suit Ian, i think that if it were today i would have make him a firefighter, because that is probably the only sensical thing shameless has done with his character this season. But despite thinking that firefighter suits him very well, being a kindergarten teacher (please tell me if this is the correct term, english is not my first language and im not sure if i got the name right) is also something Ian would excel at, since he's been taking care of his younger siblings for ages, and so on... we know he's good with kids, so why not make it his job?
> 
> just wanted to explain why that was the job i chose for him in the end
> 
> here's chapter 2, hope you like it

“Fucking finally! You drown yourself in the fucking toilet or what douchebag?”

“You really don’t wanna know what took me so long in the  _fucking toilet_  Mick.”

“Gross. Were you fucking the Gallagher? Or Gallaghers? The kid one is taller than you now.”

“Shut up assface! You just woke up and all that comes out of that mouth is already bullshit. I was shitting if you wanna know.”

“Ok, enough details.”

“You’re the one who asked.” It had taken Mandy around fifteen minutes to compose herself and be able to return to Mickey’s room without showing the way she was feeling inside in her features. Debbie and her had stayed curled up in each other for a few minutes, while Fiona and Lip explained Ian the accident he had had, though leaving Mickey out of the picture. They had left some other details aside, like his amnesia. After all the events, they decided they should gather at the Gallagher house late that night to figure out what to do from then on.

Besides, explaining the amnesia was something they preferred leaving to the doctors. After all, those would get a better grasp of what to tell him without disturbing him too much. Of course it would be different (perhaps harder) if Mickey were there expecting to be loved back like nothing had happened, but the circumstances were those, as improbable as ever.

Mandy was trying to be the best of herself, even though it was hard to act nonchalantly, seeing her brother with no memory of the number one person in his life.

“Movin on Mands, why the fuck were the Gallaghers here? You fucking the Lip one?”

She was already expecting the question. “No douchebag, I found them here. Their brother is here too, and I was with them waiting for you to wake up.”

“Another brother? Shit they’re worse than rabbits. But I don’t fucking care, I don’t even know them, talking about them is too much of an effort. You befriend whoever you want. Why was the ginger chic crying anyway?”

Mandy was fighting the tears in her eyes, seeing her brother acting this differently. “Because her brother’s in the fucking hospital you dumbass!” She replied. Yeah, that excuse worked.

“Yeah, makes sense, whatever. I need to know what the fuck happened to me. I can’t remember shit.”

“You were run over by a car. You broke your arm, some ribs, and had a head injury. I think that’s it.”

“Fuckin’ fuck. You know who the fucker was?”

“No, it was a hit and run, but the police are doing what they can.”

“For Christ’s sake what happened to you, trusting the fucking cops…?”

“If you only knew…” The saddest of it all was how her brother and best friend couldn’t remember that day when they had saved her, had detoxed her out of parent issues, and saved Ian along the process. And how from that day on Mickey became less wary of the police.

“Well, there was a doctor here, saying she wanted to talk to you about some shit.”

“Oh, it must be the one that treated your concussion. Doctor Imanu?”

“Probably, I dunno.”

“But you sure you don’t feel anything weird at all Mick?”

“Nah, I’m ready to get the hell out of here. I could even go get some action right now if you know what I mean.”

Mandy gulped and breathed for a few seconds before answering. This was hard, but she had to keep on. “You already up to fuck some dude from a random bar even with broken ribs?!”

It was Mickey who froze in his place this time. “The fuck you mean, a dude?! Screw you, I ain’t a fucking faggot!”

“The hell you aren’t. Mick you already came out, like a fuckload of years ago. Everyone knows you’re fucking gay.”

“No I didn’t Mands. I’m not a fag!”

“Yeah, you fucking did, and yes you fucking are. You don’t remember, because you hit your head pretty fucking hard and had some sort of memory loss. That’s what the doctor was on about when she came here. So you might as well just cut the shit off, you fool no one.”

Mickey mumbled something Mandy didn’t even bother to understand.

“Mandy Milkovich?” she heard, and turned her back. It was the doctor that been taking care of her brother and best friend’s brain injuries, for the past days.

“Doctor Imanu, right?”

“Yes, I’m glad you’re here. Could you please follow me to my office? I promise it will only take a few minutes, but I think it’s better if we talk there.”

“Yes, sure, let me just say goodbye to my brother.” She turned to him “Mick, I’ll be here tomorrow, I gotta go see Nolan anyway.”

“Who the fuck’s Nolan?”

Mandy had forgotten that Mickey didn’t even know him. “Nolan’s my boyfriend. Has been for a while and don’t worry, you like him. See you tomorrow assface.”

Dr Imanu smiled. “Please follow me.”

Inside the office was Fiona.

 

Fiona had stayed in the hospital while the rest of her siblings left. Dr Imanu had appeared in their room saying she needed to talk to at least one of them, and since Carl and Debbie were exhausted, Lip decided to take them home.

The conversation with Ian hadn’t run very well. Their brother wanted to know every detail of the accident, and they couldn’t explain it all because it involved Mickey, and the redhead was also starting to realize he had lost some of his latest memories. After all Carl and Debbie were far more “developed” than what they should.

“Can I call you Mandy and Fiona?” Dr Anya asked. They nodded. “Okay then. Well, after analysing your brothers’ situation from an outside perspective, it’s pretty clear that they don’t recall who the other is at all. Now, the brain can be very unpredictable, but in a way, it makes sense that they are suffering the same kind of injuries, since they experienced a similar impact. We cannot however predict if they will ever recover their memory or not.”

Mandy inhaled deeply. The Dr continued. “Now it is up to you to decide what to do with them. According to what I’ve been told, they lived together, but I imagine that will be hard now. For how long have they been together, if I may ask?”

“Since our teens.”  The Milkovich girl answered.

Anya frowned.

“Oh god, what is it doctor? It’s not good news right?” Fiona blurted out.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but usually the more years the patient forgets, the harder it is to get the memories back.” Mandy hugged Fiona’s shoulders while the older one patted her back. “However, from what I can see, both of them have some memories of the past years, just not all of them, and none of each other. But it’s a good sign.”

“But you still can’t be sure of anything.” Fiona completed.

“Exactly. I can give you my advice on what the best way to act is. This is a very rare situation, in fact I’ve dealt with couples where one loses their memory, but never both of them.”

“Thank you doctor, but even though it would be appreciated, we’re already having too many insurance expenses, being the two of them here with such heavy injuries.”

Anya smiled. “Don’t worry, I will gladly do it freely. I don’t mean to offend you with what I’m going to say, but from the point of view of a neurologist, this is a very interesting case.”

Fiona side glanced at Mandy for a second and, seeing her nodding, gave a faint smile. “I understand that. If you are offering your help, we cannot refuse, since it would be so much appreciated by us. I must thank you. It’s going to be great having a professional guiding us through this.”

“Well then, tell me when you need me. But I must tell you, you need to start making the big decisions soon. I understand if you can’t do it right now, the rest of your family isn’t here, and I think I heard you saying you had an appointment.” Anya directed to Mandy.

“Yes, yes, I have, could we leave it for tomorrow maybe?”

“You know what?” Fiona interrupted. “We’re having a meeting tonight at my house, to decide how we will deal with them. Your presence would be appreciated.”

The doctor frowned. “You sure you feel comfortable with me in your environment?”

“Well, you are the best help we can get.”

She smiled. “Oh, if you insist, I’ll be there.”

 

It was 8pm, and everyone was gathered at the Gallagher house, waiting for Dr Imanu (Anya, that’s what she insisted on being called) to arrive. All of them had dinned there: The Gallagher siblings, along with Jimmy (who had been an official Gallagher for two years now), Kev and Vee, with their baby girls, Mandy and Nolan, and Iggy.

The older Milkovich brother started rebonding with his younger siblings sometime after Mickey’s big come out. All of them had always been afraid of Terry, but seeing his brother standing up to their dad unafraid of the consequences, and then Mandy exposing herself and telling the cops that she had been raped by him (having Lip and Ian as witnesses), so she could guarantee the fucker a life sentence or something close, made Iggy realize that he didn’t have to always be in the shadow, he didn’t have to be another puppet of Terry. So he stopped talking to his other brothers (since they were still on their father’s side), made some deals, saved some money, and rented a shitty apartment. He didn’t wat to be in that house anymore.

He brought Mandy with him. Even though she didn’t want to go at first, Iggy wouldn’t have no for an answer, not after what he now knew about Mandy’s rape in that house. Mickey and Ian had had his back on that, and to those two Mandy could never say no. And to this day, she still thought it was the best decision she had ever made. Although she was now thinking of moving in with her boyfriend.

Mandy had met Nolan at one of the Gallagher's Friday dinners, one year and a half ago. He was a friend of Jimmy's, worked with him at the hospital. He was paediatrician in training (even though he already had booked appointments). Everyone said the couple wouldn't last, that such different people couldn't make it together, and though from outside it made sense that people said that, what nobody understood, was that they were more similar than what it looked like.

And so here they were, and it was much due to Nolan that Mandy's life got a hundred percent back on its tracks. Much of it was accepting who she really was and what she deserved, and Ian and Mickey had helped a lot in that, but now she had a person who didn’t bring her down. He made her feel worthy. Otherwise she would have probably fought less to prove everyone who told her she was trash wrong, still cowering towards the men who made her suffer and working in a cafeteria.

It was also because of Nolan that both Ian and Mickey got individual rooms in the hospital. He was definitely a good presence in their lives.

 

They heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Veronica said, getting up from the sofa. She opened the door, getting face to face with a tall light brown skinned woman, probably in her late twenties. "You must be Anya."

"Yes, I am. Is this the Gallagher house?" She asked a little unsure.

"Damn right it is! Come on in! I'm Veronica by the way, the neighbour. But you can consider me and my husband part of the family as well. We saw these kids growing up."

The Dr smiled. "No problem." She replied while hanging her coat. She entered the living room, being confronted with some familiar faces and some new ones.

"Hi doctor, welcome to our house!" Fiona greeted.

"Hello, and please, call me Anya, I'm off duty."

They nodded, smiling. Fiona continued. "Well then, Anya, you already know my siblings, Mandy, and Nolan, of course -"

"Hey Anya." He greeted. They knew each other since college, she was a little older but was one of those who gave him advice that he kept up to this day, until he went into paediatrics while she was already in neurology. He considered her a good friend, even though nowadays they didn’t talk frequently.

"- and these are Kevin and Veronica, our neighbours. Also if I'm not wrong, you've already seen Mickey's brother Iggy at the hospital as well."

"I think... You were in your brother's room yesterday, when I went to check him, right?"

"I guess..."

After the introductions, they all scattered around the living room, with the help of some chairs from the kitchen.

"Well then, you are here to help us decide what to do with Ian and Mickey. We already have some ideas, but what do you suggest?" Lip started.

Anya cleared her throat. "As I've told you before, this is a quite rare situation, never seen by me, not even in older neurologists’ works. But you do have to face the facts. Ian and Mickey have completely forgotten each other, and whatever they felt, is gone at the moment, and will only return with their memories."

"Why did this have to happen?!" Mandy cried. Nolan hugged her.

"I'm sorry to say it like this, I don't mean to make it worse to anyone, but this is the unfortunate truth. So, in my view, if until then your brothers don't get their memory back, the truth about each other should be kept hidden."

Debbie just gave a small "omg..."

Anya continued. "I know how difficult you situation already is, I don't want to make it any worse, but these are the facts. If you shove in their faces that they have a fiancée and lived together, but none remembers the other, it won't make it any easier for them. At first they won't believe it, and when they start seeing pictures and such, they will just have mixed feelings about the other, and what usually happens is that the couple tears apart. Imagine that you knew you were very important to someone, but you didn't know how that came to be, and neither did the other. I think you can get the picture. I see you are a very close family, you will make it through. And maybe their memories will return, you should always keep that in mind and hope."

The room was silent. That had been a harsh truth, but it was what it was. And they all knew that. In fact, they had had a similar conversation at dinner, and would have ended up doing something of the sort. But it was better having a professional helping them with the big decisions.

"So doctor-"

"Anya."

"Anya." Mandy corrected herself. "So for example, Ian thinks he still lives in here. Should we bring his a stuff back and pretend he never left?"

"From my point of view, that's for the best right now. If flashes of memory start happening, then the situation might change. But right now…"

"Then that's what we gotta do." Fiona agreed. The rest of them stood in a silent agreement.

The engines in Mandy's mind started moving. "Wait. But then, no..." She hugged her brother Iggy.

"What is it Mands?" He asked.

"Mickey. He still feels like he lives with Terry doesn’t him?"

"What?"

"Mickey probably still thinks we all live in the old house. We have to pretend that he has been with us for the last years, don’t we?”

"You’re right." Iggy stated. "I hadn’t thought of that. But we'll just tell him he lives with us at the apartment, has been for a while. He doesn't remember shit, he'll buy it. And we still have that spare bedroom. We can make it his."

Mandy didn't answer for a while. "Yeah, it’s what we’ll do. God, it will be so weird to stare at Mickey everyday without Ian by his side. It just feels wrong."

"I know Mandy." Fiona smiled faintly. "But we have to do it, for them."

"Yes, I know."

"Well then, we have to start organizing everything, they come out of the hospital in about three days. And we have to go to their apartment to retrieve all the shit, make it like it was never there."

"If you need any help, I'm available, and so is nurse Skye, she was also touched by the situation, and wants to help as well." said Anya.

They agreed. This was probably the hardest decision they had ever made, but it had a purpose, their brother's well-being, and now all that was left was organizing themselves and prepare for the future.

**

Mickey was trying to get some sleep when he heard someone entering his room. It was nurse Skye.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know you were still awake."

"Can't get any sleep in this shithole."

"Don't worry, you won't stay here for long, soon you'll be back home with your bo... Sister." She gulped. She had almost forgot. "Anyway, I just came to change your serum bag."

"Go ahead, have fun."

She started rummaging through the wires attached to his body. "So, Michael, -"

"Mickey."

"Yes, sorry. Mickey. What do you do for a living?"

"I dunno. Apparently I lost my memories, you probably know that, I can't remember a fuckload of things. That's one of them. But I been texting my sister, she says I'm a tattoo artist. Makes sense, I don’t remember shit all of all these tattoos on my arms. Only the knuckle ones."

"That means you can draw...!"

_God, this woman won't shut up. Almost like... Wait. No, in fact she don't remind him of anyone I actually know._ "Yes, I fucking can. Never thought I would show it to anyone, but apparently I did."

She smiled. "Maybe you should try to -"

"Look miss, I dunno if you're hitting on me or some shit, but I'm fucking gay. Just thought you should know that."

"God, they did tell me he wasn't very polite." She murmured. She stared at him with a scowl. "I'm sorry if I was just trying to make conversation, since you seem quite bored. And don't worry, I know that. Your sister told us." She had just finished what she had gone there to do. "Besides, I'm fucking gay too." She tried to do the best impression she could of the raven haired boy. "So we're like oil and water." She smiled.

"Oh, fuck, sorry, I didn't -"

"What sorry? There's no sorries about that. We're gay, big deal. At least we're not into children, like paedophiles. Now that's a problem. We just like people from the same genre. You should think of that. I'm sure that before losing your memories you had already come to terms with your sexuality. You just can't remember."

"Whatever, don’t mean I'm not fucked for life anyway." He grunted.

"Maybe you aren't. You lost your memories, you don't remember. And you might not see it, but that attitude doesn't help in anything. This might sound unprofessional, but you should just stop bitchin around. It'll make things much better."

He stared at her dumbfounded for some seconds. "Bitch you ever-"

"Now, if you don't mind." She interrupted smiling. "There are other patients who seek me. Goodnight Mickey." And with that she left, giving no change for the boy to reply.

 

Skye entered Ian's room next. She had to do the same thing she had done in Mickey's. The redhead was playing with the strings of his cloth, wearing a bored face.

"Oh, you're still awake. May I call you Ian?"

"Hey. Yes, of course you can."

"I'll be quick, I just have to change your medicine bags. So, rough night?"

"You could say that. I mean, I'm tired, but I can't sleep. There's too much in my head right now. My sister came by. She said I was messed up like our mother."

"You mean the bipolarity? You didn't remember it?"

"Yeah, not that I can recall. How much have I forgotten? Plus, how am I gonna have a life if I'm a goddamn nutcase?"

"Ian." She tilted her head to stare right at him. She hated seeing a patient upset and confused like this, and she always did her best to make it better. It was part of her job after all. "You may have lost some of your memories, but you were someone before you came into this hospital. You had a life, a job... Maybe you can't remember it, but I'm sure your disease never stopped you from anything. All you had to do was accept it as part of you, but not what defines you. You just have to do it again."

"But my mom -"

"Your mother, I don't know her, but I bet she was a different person, who probably never came to terms with her disease, or with how to handle it, and that alarms you because you might be the same. But maybe she never had the support she needed. But I've seen your family and how much they worry. I can assure you, you won't be alone. You will soon go back to your life, maybe not at a hundred percent, but the best you can."

"It just worries me you know? Maybe it shouldn't, but I mean, I'm almost twenty three apparently, and even though I can barely remember these past years, not even a relationship I had. There wasn't anyone here for me besides my family. Is someone ever gonna want a person like me?"

Skye's expression turned sadder. "Never has bipolar disease stopped someone from finding a partner. Trust me, I work in a hospital, I know what I'm talking about. I'm sure you'll be lucky too. But right now, I must go see the rest of the patients…"

"Of course, I understand.” He smiled honestly. “Thanks for the advice nurse."

"Oh please, do call me Skye. And you are one of the goods, don't worry so much. Instead try to get some sleep. Things will be better tomorrow."

"I hope so, and I will."

And with that the nurse left. Their chat had really helped the redhead, and in just a few minutes he was sleeping soundlessly.

 

Skye couldn't take this story out of her mind. She understood why these two were together, they were the ying to the other's yang, and it was awful that one couldn't be there to remind the other of their old life, to make the other fall in love again, like in that movie she had seen. While one was polite but insecure, the other was grumpy and very protective. Even though Mickey didn't show it, the nurse could see how he acted with his sister, and could only wander how he was around Ian. They were one of those couples that despite looking different from the outside, sure would be very similar when together, because Mickey seemed like one of those guys who only showed his feelings in private.

_They need to be together, no matter the circumstances._ It was a realization that hit her. She knew what Dr Imanu's advice would be, and though she understood it, she could not agree with it. She was aware of Anya’s perspective, but what the Dr said was that they shouldn’t be reminded of their past life together. But even if these boys couldn't remember it, they were each other’s half once, so what would stopped them of becoming such all over again?

She would at least try to get them to re-know each other, and see if that magnet that had pulled them together years ago hadn't been destroyed along with their memories (though she very much hoped those would return as well) in the accident.

**

Fiona answered the phone after two rings. "Hey Mandy, everything alright?"

"Yes, yes, I just forgot to ask you something tonight."

Fiona leaned on the kitchen counter. "Okay, what?"

"What do we do with the rings?"

"What do you mean?"

"Their engagement rings. Who will keep them? I mean, we can’t throw them out. I think Mickey’s still in their apartment, I only got Ian’s with me. But if we manage to keep the apartment, I think that’s where they should be kept. Their nest. In case luck strikes us and… I already talked with Debs, she said yes to that as well. It's just that, if they get their memories back, I think that’s where they should be."

Fiona was smiling sadly in the other end of the line as she agreed. "Yeah, of course, right now it’s the only place where they make sense. I'm sure they wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

Mandy murmured a thank you and hung up. A tear flew down Fiona's face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this fic some chapters will be flashbacks, so you can have an insight on some plot points who are important in the present. chapter three will be one, focused on their engagement, i cant wait to publish it.
> 
> Leave Kudos and Comments if you feel like it, i love getting some!  
> Lots of Love ^^


	3. Flashback 1 - "I do!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first flashback into Gallavich life before the accident.

(Flashback 1)

It had been a very tiring day at the kindergarten. Ian was exhausted, and today he didn't even have Mickey to walk back home with him, like it was their habit. His boyfriend still had a few more hours in the studio, filling for a colleague who had apparently got sick. He entered their apartment, putting his bag in the coat hanger. He didn't use an actual coat nowadays, since there was a burning summer outside. Ian went to their room, getting rid of his uniform and staying only with his tank top and boxers. There was no place like home.

 _I might as well start dinner,_ He thought to himself.  _Not gonna stay here looking at the clock waiting for Mick._  And so he went tot he kitchen, took some leftover chicken from the freezer and starting peeling potatoes.

Around 40 minutes later, the mashed potatoes were ready, and the chicken was grilled. And Ian was really tired. He went to the living room, stretching in the couch and turning on the TV. But not even The Simpsons rerun was enough, and soon he was drifting off to sleep.

**

Mickey had lied to Ian. He hadn't stayed at the tattoo parlour more than his usual. And of course it was a small lie, but he couldn't tell his boyfriend what he was about to do.

"I still can't believe you're doing this!" A grinning Mandy screamed.

"Yeah yeah, fuck off."

"She's right Mickey." Debbie replied. "You have to understand this isn't something we were expecting from you. At least not this soon."

"So much for the faith in me..."

"Mick, if there was something no one would ever think fitted in that brain of yours was the idea of marriage, but here you are!"

"For fucks sakes Mandy, I'm just gonna propose to Ian, what's the big fucking deal?!"

"WHAT'S THE BIG FUCKING DEAL?! MICKEY!" the Gallagher snorted. "My brother thinks of marriage since ever, or more exacly since you came in the picture! Which is pretty much the same, but if there's a reason he thinks so much about it is because never in a million years has it crossed his mind that you would ask him! He would never do it himself, afraid you would say no, and you know you probably would. So don't ask us what the big fucking deal his, Mickey Milkovich!"

Fuck. Mickey didn't have an answer to that. "Alright fuck off you two." The girls grinned at each other. "Let's just get the goddamn rings and get out of here. I wanna do it today."

"Wait you're already proposing today?" Debbie asked astonished.

"Yeah I fucking will. What's the point of waiting? I wanna do it before I stop having the guts to. God, you women and your twenty questions." He grumped, and then entered the store.

The Gallagher and Milkovich girls sideglanced at each other and giggled, following Mickey suit.

The boy wandered around with a frown. This was definitely not his environment. The shop assistant, seeing the confused client, stepped from behind the counter and came to him. The girls joined them.

"Hello, welcome to our store. Can I help you?" She asked with a smile on.

"Yeah, I guess you can. We're looking for engagement rings."

"So I figured. And which of this lovely ladies is your fiancé?"

"What?" He eyed her, a mix of confusion and disgust in his face. "None! Jesus, that's mys sister and sister-in-law! They're here helping me out."

The woman made a worried face, trying to excuse herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume. But it does make sense, you haven't proposed yet, so she's not here, and you will surprise-"

"Yeah, he's not here." Mickey said with a small voice.

The woman nodded for about a second before realising what he had actually just said. And then her smiled returned, brighter than it had been, if that was possible. "Oh, so you're looking for male rings!"

"I am..." He said reluctantly.

"Well then, you're searching the wrong place. Please follow me."

And the three of of them did as they were told. The woman grabbed a set of keys and opened a drawer from the counter, pulling it completely off and placing it on the top.

"This is part of the men's rings section. Since the portion of men that are proposed to is smaller than the women's, so is the selection of rings. These are the ones with stones embedded in the metal. If you are looking for something more simple, I can show you the other drawer we have."

Mickey had stayed with a slight frown during the whole speech. No, this wasn't it. These rings with their fancy ass stones and complex embroidery were too much. "Yeah I wanna see the other rings."

"What? Mickey, this rings are gorgeous!" Debbie blurted out.

"Yeah Mick, what's the problem with these?"

"This rings are pretty, for a woman or a faggy gay."

"Dumbass that made no sense. You're a faggy gay."

"Say that again and I'm pulling your tongue out of your mouth."

"She's kinda right Mickey."

"Thanks fucking much Debs! Listen, I don't want any of this complex shit! Why won't you get it? I want this to be as simple as it can, Ian and I already have been through enough complicated shit!"

They all stayed silent. Even the shop assistant seemed baffled.

"Wow Mick, that was pretty fucking deep!"

"Well then, ladies, gentleman" the assistant interrupted "This is the other set of rigs we have. I believe you will find these more appealing." She was pulling out the other drawer.

And these rings were definitely much better. Mickey eyed them quickly, seeing if... He stopped in his tracks. When he had entered the shop, his plan was to buy Ian a ring, just one. It's amazing how quickly one can change their mind. In front of the black haired boy were two rings, that were clearly supposed to be two versions of the same model. But Mickey didn't want just one of them. He wanted both. He would never say it out loud, but they were made for his boyfriend and him.

"It's those two." He pointed.

"Oh, they are very beautiful. Which one do you you want?"

"Both, I want both of them. One for me and one for him."

Debbie and Mandy smiled at each other. Mickey's decision made so much sense, the rings spoke their names.

"And do you want to engrave them?" The assistant asked him.

He thought for a bit. That detail hadn't crossed his mind. "You know what? Nah, I don't want, as I said, simple."

She smiled. "Then I will put them in a box for you right away." And left for two minutes, coming back with a small bag already in her hand.

 

Debbie and Mandy said goodbye to Mickey and headed in a different direction. They were going to stay in the mall for a little longer, leaving the boy to go home. They had assured him Ian was gonna love it, but that he had to be confident. But that didn't stop the nervousness to slowly start creeping into his body.

**

Mickey entered his apartment, hearing some shitty programme coming from the TV. He put his keys on the console and went to the kitchen. But though it smelled like food, Ian wasn't in there. And he hadn't heard the usual warm "hey" the redhead always reserved for when Mickey came home late.  _OK, living room it is_ , he thought to himself.

He entered the division, seeing a sleeping Ian sprawled on the couch. "For Christ's sakr , not now. Yo Ian!" He said while turning off the TV. God, why did this idiot looked so beautiful when he was sleeping? Like Mickey wasn't nervous enough. He placed the rings box in the table centre and sat next to Ian, shaking him. "Ian, wake up man!"

"Hmm..."

"C'mon, we need to talk."

"Hmm, hey Mickey, what's up?" the deadhead said with a sleepy voice, and not bothering to open his eyes.

"Wake the fuck up!"

Ian still wasn't opening his eyes. "Is it important? Cuz I wanna sleep. If you wanna fuck just wait until bedtime."

"No, I don't wanna fuck - well, at least not right now - and yeah it's pretty fucking important, get your ass up!"

"C'mon, s'not like you're gonna ask me to marry you. It can wait..."

Mickey froze in his place.  _What?! No! Of all the times he could have brought that up, why the fuck now?!_ They had had this sort of play for years. Ian would say that in a light tone and the older boy would always be "fuck off". But not today, today he stayed shell-shocked. Ian could not have said that today.

Not hearing his boyfriend's typical answer, the Gallagher was now getting worried. He opened his eyes and sat up straight. "Mick, what is it?"

The older boy got up, pacing around. "Well apparently you already know."

"What?"

Mickey stared at the wall in front of him. "Congratu-fucking-lations! You already guessed it!" He said angrily.

Ian was totally confused now. He glanced at the area around him, seeing if anything was out of place, but no, aside from the ring box in the table centre, everything -  _Wait_. There was a ring box in the table centre. "Oh my god."

"Yeah..."

"OH MY GOD MICKEY!" He grabbed the box and opened it in a hurry.

Staring at him were two very similar, but at the same time different, rings. They were both silver bands, with a tarnish glow. Evolving them was a thin line, marking the difference. While one was reddish, looking orange from some angles, the other was blue, looking white from some angles. Ian was speechless.

He heard Mickey's throat clearing. His boyfriend was now standing at his side, with his head down. It was impossible for the oldest to make a clear speech looking straight at those piercing green eyes.

"Look Ian, don't expect me to get down in one knee and make one of those total faggy speeches, cuz you know words are your thing, not mine. But I love you man. And yeah I don't say this often, but you know its true, you ain't just a warm mouth to me, you never were." Ian's smiled widened as much as it could. "And I know you always wanted a wedding and all that shit, and for a long time that was just alien to me. I mean, the only marriage I had I had even seen was my parents' and lok how well that turned out. And I never thought it was important, certainly not before you, and for me everything was fine as long as we stayed together. But for you it was."

"Mick you don't have to -"

"Shut up, I'm trying something here. I knew marriage was important to you, and then I started understanding why. I saw Fiona and Jimmy, how they were happy, and how people saw their wedding bands and understood. It's not about the piece of paper. Its about what it means. I never really cared what others fucking thought, but there's something in show everyone we're each other's. I get that now. And so out of the blue I wanted to marry you. I wanted it preety fucking bad. So if I'm giving you that ring is not because I'm waiting for a yes or no, I think we've been over that shit a long time ago (or else I'mma throw you out of that fucking window). I just want to explain you that I'm not tpdoing this just because of you, it's because of us."

Ian let it sink in for a few seconds before speaking. "That was a total faggy speech Mickey." He said, putting on his best shit eating grin.

"Shut the fuck up."

And Ian did just that. Instead of talking, he got up and closed the distance between him and his now fiancé. He pressed their lips together and kissed Mickey passionately. After a minute of making out, Ian spoke while pecking the other man's lips. "And...just...for...the...record,...I...do!" And he smiled into Mickey. He stepped away from him and grabbed the ring box. "Which one is mine?"

"C'mon firecrotch, isn't it preety fucking obvious?"

Ian smiled. "Yeah, it is. I do wanna walk around with a sample of your eyes every day."

"And that wasn't creepy at all. But at least I get to have my own personal firecrotch now."

"I thought you already had that."

They stood there smiling goofily at each other. Ian grabbed his blue ring and put it on his finger, and then reached for Mickey's hand.

"Jesus Ian, your not fucking doing that -"

"Yes I fucking am. Gimme you hand." Mickey obeyed. "Why did you buy two?"

"Wasn't gonna, but I saw this two and, hmm, I had to., you know..."

Ian snorted. "You're such a sap Mick, you don't even understand it..."

"Don't you dare fucking say that again."

The redhead laughed out loud. "Can't promise that!"

For moments he thought that there was no time to reach the bedroom, he wanted to thank his fiancé the ring right there on the couch, but he realised he would have to go to the bedroom anyway to get the lube (since the one they had stacked being the sofa cushions had ended), so he just grabbed Mickey's wrist and lead him tot heir bedroom.

"Ian, you should wait, din -"

"Yeah, like you're gonna refuse sex. I know you Mick. Dinner can wait, shut up."

And he did. He was in fact already unbuckling his belt.

 

It might be 11 pm, but Mickey and Ian couldn't care less that they were having dinner just now. They had been too busy in that bedroom of their to bother with food.

"Damn Ian, I'm gonna be walking funny for the next days!"

The redhead did his typical thing. Put on his best shit eating grin. "I had to show you how much I liked your little surprise. Besides, it's not like you were complaining all the times you came over my chest."

"Never have and never will." He simply stated.

Ian laughed. "You're the one who proposed. You're stuck with me now."

"And gladly. You know that."

"I love you so much..." It just felt right, being able to say this freely, after all the shit they had been through. And Ian was a sap, he could never shut up. So if he wanted to say he loved his boyfriend, damn right he would.

"Yeah yeah, shut up and feed me."

The younger boy smirked. "Not until you say you love me."

"For fucks sake, you're not doing that again!" Mickey complained.

"Damn right I am. Just say it, or else no dinner for you."

"I told you that like three fucking hours ago, grow a pair you man-child!"

"Too long ago."

"Argh, alright alright, I fucking love you! There, you happy? Now gimme the food, I'm fucking starving!"

Ian got back to his grin, while bringing their plates to the table. They ate in silence for a bit. Surprisingly, it was Mickey who interrupted.

"I'm not gonna use it all the time you know?"

"Wait what? The ring? Why?!"

"Cuz I might fuck it up at the studio or some shit. I don't wanna mess it up with the ink."

Ian smiled. He knew they wore gloves at the tattoo parlour, and that it wasn't necessary for Mickey to do that, but he knew his fiancé wouldn't change his mind no matter what he said. "Okay, I get it. We gotta tell all of them though. At dinner tomorrow." The following day it was Friday, they had dinner at the Gallagher's.

"Yeah. But Mandy and Debs know already."

"Why did you tell them?"

"Well, cuz they're girls. They know this shit." He admitted.

"You're so cute Mick, needing the help of the girls."

"Shut up firecrotch."

"Fine, fine."

**

When they knocked on Mandy's door to pick her up the next evening, they didn't even had time to greet her before she was jumping on them screaming "Show me your hands!". They did as they were told, which resulted in a squeal Mickey would never have expected to hear coming out of his sister's mouth.

"Look at you two, all lovey-dovey and engaged!"

"You say that againg and you're getting a titty twister."

"Oh shut up Mick, as if you don't like to hear it! Besides, you can't, Ian would protect me!"

"Bitch, you wish."

"She's right Mick."

"Oh, fan-fucking-tastic! Thanks a fuckload! Fuck you two. Go get your shit Mandy, we're leaving."

"Wait Mickey." And then she turned to Ian. "Can Iggy go tonight too?"

"Of course, you know you don't have to ask that!"

"Yeah, it's just, I think if you're gonna tell everyone there, he should be present as well. He's the Milkovich family we have left."

"I know that."

"Then you two wait here, I'll call him." And she entered, already yelling "IGGY!"

Ian and Mickey sat on the couch waiting.

"I fuckin' hate you sometimes Gallagher."

"Yeah yeah, you love me."

"That too."

 

They had walked to the Gallagher house and all that time Iggy hadn't noticed the rings on their fingers. Of course not everyone was like that.

Ian opened the door to the house where he grew up, sending a loud "Hello!" into the living room.

 Veronica got up to greet them. "Hi Mands!" They hugged each other. "Iggy." He waved at her. "Hi boys!" She turned to the couple. The redhead opened his arms to hug her, and she was about to do so, when she pulled back and stared at him wide eyed. She grabbed his hand abruptly. "Oh my God! Is that...?"

"Yes, it is. Mickey's got one too."

Vee grabbed the black haired boy's hand as well. "Oh my God! Look at you two!" She squealed. "Fiona!" No answer. "FIONA GALLAGHER, COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming! God, what is it?"

Vee held the couple's hands in front of her.

"Oh my God. Oh my God! YOU'RE ENGAGED!" She jumped excitedly and hugged them both fiercely. "I can't believe this! It was about time Mickey!"

"What makes you think I was the one doing it?"

"Mickey, please..."

"Alright, you know what? Fuck you all."

The rest of the evening went pretty well. Hugs were given, the couple was congratulated, Mandy and Debbie were yelled at for already knowing and not telling anyone, and in the end a toast was made.

Unfortunately, the rings lasted a total of four days in their fingers before Ian's (since Mickey wasn't wearing his at the time) being removed by nurses, so he could enter the operation room, after the huge accident they had just suffered. And there was no hope of the rings reappearing in their rightful place in any near future.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, havent been able to write much in the past fortnight, hoping to get back on track soon.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was much calmer than the other heavy ones, a smile in the sea of grieve the beggining of this fic seems to be on. But things will get much lighter and better, I promise.
> 
> Leave Kudos and Comments if you feel like it, I sure love them a lot, and getting feedback is great to improve my writing! ^^


	4. Memories won't fucking return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is more of a filler, but necessary. Fear not, things will heat up eventually, and I think you will enjoy it.  
> Enjoy the chapter!

Skye was cleaning a patient’s wound when she heard a knock behind her.

“ Hey, hum, they said you were in one of these rooms. I… My brother’s here, I just wanted to say goodbye.”

The nurse smiled at the man in front of her. “It was nice meeting you, Mickey.” He scoffed. “And I mean it. I know there’s more to you than that rough look you have.”

“Yeah. I don’t think so. But you were nice and shit, and only my sister’s like that. And my arm’s getting better too, so I wanted to say thanks.”

“The arm was only my duty, but for the rest, it was nice talking with you. Let’s just say hum… You are a great gay fella.”

“Jesus, please don’t say that shit again.”

Skye laughed. “Okay, I won’t. But with one condition.”

“What?”

“Can I get a hug?”

Mickey pressed his thumb to his mouth. That habit would never die. “Hum, no. Nah, that ain’t happening.”  Skye leaned anyway and put her arms around him. “Okay this is becoming too gay.”

She stayed still in her position. “We’re a man and a woman. Your idea of gay is kinda mixed up.”

After a few moments of stiffness, he hugged her back. It was easier than he expected.  _God, what have I turned into?_  He asked himself, for the nth time. In those past three days he had realized he was a much softer guy than he remembered. It seemed his brain hadn’t forgotten that part of himself. It also hadn’t forgotten his broken ribs. “Okay, this is was enough of a gay moment. My back can’t handle more anyway, and I gotta go.”

“I understand. Go ahead then. And take care of that arm.”

“I’m coming here in two weeks cuz of the bandages.”

“Oh, of course. I was forgetting that. I guess I’ll see you then. And hey, we could go have a coffee or something. Maybe I can even introduce you to some gays I know.”

“I don’t do relationships.”

Skye flinched a bit at that. That made her a bit sad. Her mission of getting that couple back together would not be easy. “Okay, okay. But c’mon, I know you don’t have many friends, specially now. And maybe I’ll even get a tattoo from you!”

“Fuck, you’re persistent.  Alright, I don’t even have a phone now, I been using my sister’s old one. Mine got fucked up in the accident. But if I see you in two weeks, I’ll give it to you.”

Getting that much out of Mickey seemed enough to the nurse for now. “Okay, two weeks. Give a hi to your sister by the way. And don’t be too rude out there.”

“Cant promise impossible shit.” And he left to go look for Iggy.

 

“Michael” Anya called him in the hall when he was about to leave. He turned around. “Sorry to delay you. I just wanted to make sure you’d be here next week for our appointment. We might get some memories back.”

“Yeah yeah, you told me all that already. I’ll be here. But don’t get too hopeful on that memory thing. Dunno if I wanna remember what my fucked up life turned into anyway.”

Anya smiled. This poor man wasn’t much younger than she was, and he had already went through a lot. She wanted to do what she could to help. “That’s why I want you here. To figure out if it’s worth of not. I’ll be expecting you.” And she walked back the hallway Mickey had just emerged from.

“Iggs, let’s go?”

“Yup, the car’s right there.”

Mickey wasn’t allowed to drive until his arm was completely healed, so for now his brother’s ride had to be it. It was either that or a bus, since the hospital was way too far away to go by foot. Fuck, he didn’t even know if he had a car, or a driver’s license at all. He didn’t remember anything. What a fucking life.

**

While Mickey left only three days after coming in, Ian was still due to stay in the hospital for another two weeks, given his leg. However, Lip was there to take him to see his psychiatrist.

“Hey, what up dude, how are you?” The older Gallagher entered the room, where his brother was already dressed up and waiting, though sitted, since standing up wasn’t actually something he could do right now.

“Aside from my leg and my totally fucked up back, I’m cool.” They laughed, causing Ian to wince in pain. “Anyway, when are we leaving? I wanna get this show on the road.”

“I’m ready if you are. And Carl’s waiting in the car. Gotta drop him off at the girls’ foster home.”

Ian looked at him confused. “Where? Why? Someone in there?”

“Oh, right, you don’t remember these things. Carl’s girlfriend, Bonnie. Don’t know if you remember her. She got placed in foster care, in a house with girls. Same as we were once.”

“Unfortunately I remember that. But wait, is she blonde, long hair, blue eyes…?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s her. Wow you remember that! And us being in foster care! That’s like pretty fucking good. You might get your full memories back!”

Ian frowned. “Am I gonna get that much back? My life feels exactly the same. Still live in the same place, but now I have a job I don’t even remember if I like, and a disease. Great.”

Lip couldn’t answer that without telling a big lie, so he choose the other path. Avoiding it. “You know you still have to see your shrink right?”

“I know, I know. For how long has she been my doc?”

“Well, since the beginning. Which means, five years. But we all know her, she’s great, you got nothing to worry about.”

Ian nodded. “I believe you, don’t worry. It’s just weird. She probably knows more about me than I do.”

“Oh well, you’ll have to get over that. And we gotta go.”

“Yeah okay, can you please take this?”

 

The boys were about to leave when Skye approached them in the hallway.

“Ian!” she greeted, also waving at Lip, who waved back. “Going to your psychiatrist, right?”

“Yes, it had to be done at some point.”

“That’s true. It’s a shame you have to go to your clinic with your leg like that. It would make things easier if you didn’t have to leave.”

“True, but she’s my shrink, I have to go anyway.”

“It’s true. Then, have a good trip. I’ll see you later.” She turned to Lip. “Take care of your brother.”

“I will.”

Skye then left to the rooms, and the Gallaghers left the hospital, heading to the clinic where Ian had his appointments.

 

Lip knocked on Dr Millan’s office door.

“Come in.”

He entered. “Hi Doctor.”

“Hello Phillip. I was expecting you. Is Ian outside?”

“Yes, he’s waiting in the hall.”

“Okay, let’s be quick then. I’ve already spoken with your sister on the phone yesterday, but I need to know as many details as you can give. And please do sit.”

As Ian’s psychiatrist for the past five years, Dr Millan knew his family well, not only from her patient’s reports, but also the two older in person. However, who she knew better was Mickey Milkovich. Every month he would be outside waiting for his boyfriend to leave the office, and he was who Ian talked most about. But from what she had unfortunately understood by Fiona’s call, the redhead could no longer remember his partner.

Lip sat. “Okay, where to start…? Well, Ian and Mickey were involved in a hit and run accident. Ian broke his ribs, his leg, and had a concussion. This had a worst effect than we expected. He lost part of his memory, almost everything from the past years. So he doesn’t remember who Mickey and even Mandy are, or what they mean to him.” Dr Millan nodded sadly. Lip continued. “Now Mickey, he broke an arm, some ribs too, and had a brain trauma as well. He doesn’t remember Ian or any of us. He just thinks we’re the Gallaghers from three blocks away.”

Dr Millan let out a small “oh”. She hadn’t grasped that from her phone call with Fiona. Although she had found odd that the Milkovich man didn’t call her or come with them, she had put it aside.

“It’s the sad truth. And as you may understand, Ian doesn’t know who you are. He didn’t even remember he was bipolar, and was in fact quite upset about it.”

“Wait, but did he stop taking his medication?” she asked worried.

“No, he didn’t. Firstly, he was in induced coma, but when he woke up, the people at the hospital explained him his situation, and he just started taking the meds without a problem. I think there’s no worries in that field. But I think you understand why we asked for the emergency appointment. We need you to explain him what he used to know about the disease.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“And there’s one more thing. We are not telling Ian about Mickey. Or any of the Milkoviches in fact.”

“And you’re not telling Mickey about Ian either?”

“Exacly. We are keeping both of them away from those news.”

“Hum… I understand the decision. You sure that it’s for the best? And do you plan on telling them in the future?”

“Neither Ian nor Mickey know about the other. We all, including the doctor who has been treating their concussions, believe it wouldn’t be healthy to put them together if they can’t remember anything. Unless one of them, or both, get their memory back, pushing them into each other would only draw all of us apart.”

Dr Millan nodded. “I think I’ll have to agree with that. And what about his latest years? Mickey and Ian lived together after all.”

“Yes, that’s true, but we’re keeping them away from that. For all that matters, Ian never left our house, and Mickey is staying with his sister. That’s what they believe right now. I’m sorry for asking you to lie about that, but for now it’s for the best.”

“Trust me when I say I totally understand your position. It is indeed against my principles to lie to my patients, but this is a completely different scenario. I don’t think knowing about Mickey would be the best for your brother right now.”

“Thank you for the comprehension.”

“It is only my job. I will analyze the information I have on Ian and see what I have to fiddle around, so I keep Mickey out of it. It will be hard, he was a constant presence. But I’ll manage it, you and your family won’t have to worry about it.”

Lip nodded. “Then I guess it’s okay if I call him in. Don’t forget that he feels like he’s meeting you for the first time.”

“I didn’t. But yes, do go ask for him.”

 

Ian knocked and entered Dr Millan’s office, just like his brother had done fifteen minutes before. He did it unsteadily, because of his leg and crutches.

“Hello.” He said hesitant.

“Hello Ian. Please have a sit. You probably feel very uncomfortable standing up on that leg and back.” The redhead nodded and did as he was told. “I’m Doctor Judith Millan by the way, your psychiatrist. Have been for the past five years, as you probably already know.”

“Yes, my family told me.”

“Well, it’s interesting to ask this, since I did it before, but are there any doubts you have, about your disease, how it has been for you?”

“I just want to know if I was ever hospitalized.” He answered frowming.

“Yes, you were, in the beginning.”

Ian gave a deep breath. “I was afraid of that.”

“It’s a completely normal thing, every patient must stay in when diagnosed, to even out the medication. You stayed in for about two weeks, and have been stable since then. Mic- Your family has been a great support. They helped you get through the first rough times, and nowadays you were quite independent. You came to the appointments always in time, always explaining any strange behaviors you might have had… It’s a shame what happened to you, it really is, because you can’t remember how this disease never defined you.”

He nodded sadly.

“But please don’t stop taking your meds. They are really important. Your brother already told me you have been taking them, so I’m telling you that changing that will not have a good outcome.”

Ian was starting to lose his uneasy look. “I won’t. It’s true, at first I was really upset. I never wanted to be like Monica. I’m assuming you know who she is.” Dr Millan nodded. Ian continued, now with the glimpse of a smile. “But there was this nurse, she saw how I was feeling and talked to me. She was very uplifting.”

“It’s very good that you had a nice nurse taking care of you. Not everybody is that lucky.”

“I know. We decided to go for a coffee when I leave the hospital. She’s gay too, we have that in common, and is talkative, like me. She also said she could introduce me to a gay guy she knows.” He grinned at that.

However, the doctor did quite the opposite. She gave him a small smile that quickly vanished. Not even two weeks ago Ian had been here with Mickey, she had seen her patient pecking his boyfriend’s lips when they were leaving, still eyeing each other the same way they had been for the past five years. It still felt weird that the redhead couldn’t remember any of it. “It’s good that you have fun.  But be careful with that leg and ribs!”

“Yes, yes, don’t worry, I’m painfully reminded that my body is all broken every time I move.” And as to make his point crossed, he winced in pain.

Dr Millan was about to call it a day when Ian asked another question. “Did I ever had a boyfriend?”

The woman gulped at that. She knew she had to lie, but she was trying to make it as close to the truth as she could. “Yes, some time ago. You broke up eventually, but fortunately you kept yourself steady, emotionally speaking.”

The Gallagher nodded. “Did I ever told you why we broke up?”

“Hum, no, not really. But it was a while ago, I’m not a hundred percent sure.”

“It was probably because I’m crazy.” He muttered more to himself.

“No Ian, no, I’m sure it wasn’t, don’t think that way. You’re not crazy. And unless you make peace with your disease, you won’t live your life to the fullest.”

“I know, I know. Everything is just still sinking in.”

“I understand. But we’ve had a similar conversation before, and though it was hard at first, you accepted it. You just have to do it again. And I know you can. Think of what that nurse said to you. Put it aside, do other things! I have an advice. You used to run before going to work. It was something that pleased you a lot. Why don’t you go back to it when you leg is healed? I’m sure you’ll enjoy it a lot.”

Ian was thoughtful for a few moments. “Yeah, that is a good idea. Thank you for reminding me of that.” He said enthusiastically. “I have one more question though. I’m not sure if you’re the right person to talk about it, but I really can’t make up my mind about it.”

“Go ahead, I’m here for what you may need.”

“Should I go back to work?”

Dr Millan hadn’t expected that. “Well… In the end, that is a decision that is up to you. Do you think you are still able to do it?”

“I’m not sure. I think I remember some of my classes and projects for the kids -”

“Oh, but that is very good!”

“I guess. But I don’t have a clue who the kids are, or what we used to to in the daycare.”

“Perhaps the best thing you can do is talk to your superiors directly. They’re the ones who can advise you properly. Take one of your siblings to guide you.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll do that. And thanks anyway.”

“Anytime. And I think we can now say goodbye or is there anything else you’d like to ask?”

“No, not really. I’ll go now. When will our next appointment be?”

“Hum, we were suppose to have one in about two weeks, but I think we can postpone it for a month, as long as you keep taking your medication.”

“Don’t worry, I will. So yes, that’s fine by me.” They shook hands.

“Goodbye Ian.”

“Goodbye doctor.”

The man left the office feeling a lot lighter than he had felt when he entered. He felt that he could trust this woman. Damn, she probably knew more about him than himself. He would get through this.

 


	5. But you will remember him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and things are finally moving forward! this is the first chapter that's not really a filler, and I've been waiting weeks to post it. hope you enjoy it!  
> (title based on "Centuries" by FoB)

It had been a few days since Mickey had come back home, but he was still asking a lot of questions, sometimes leaving Mandy without knowing what to say.

“Yo Mandy, what the fuck happened to the bathtub?!” he screamed from the bathroom.

Mandy, in the kitchen, answered back. “I don’t know, I cleaned it yesterday, and it was fucking normal.”

“Yeah, but I mean, I must be really fucked up, cuz I thought the bathtub was on the other side.”

“What?!”

“The bathtub! I swear to God, I thought it was on the left side, near the toilet! But it’s on the fucking right side with the sink.”

Mandy froze in her place. Mickey was describing his and Ian’s apartment’s bathroom.

“I thought I still had some memories, but I guess I’m a hundred percent fucked.”

The Milkovich girl appeared at the door. She had to bluff. “The fuck you mean? The bathtub has always been there. Jesus, just stop whining. If you wanna use it, just go to the right side!”

“Yeah yeah, fuck off. I have an excuse.”

“Mick, you’re not gonna use your amnesia to explain every dumb shit you say.”

The man looked at her for a few seconds, thinking of the best comeback. “Hmm, no? Fucking watch me.” And with that he closed the bathroom door abruptly.

Mandy stood at the doorway, knowing all too well what was about to happen. She waited a few seconds though. “Mick?”

“You still there? Fuck off!”

“You gonna take a shower?”

“Yes, I fuckin’ am. You got a problem with that??”

“What about your shirt?”

“The fuck you mean what ab -” Mickey stopped. He could actually picture Mandy grinning on the other side.

“Yeah, you can’t take it off without me, dickhead.”

He open the door as abruptly as he had closed it and eyed his sister deadly before speaking. “Don’t need a shower that much anyway.” And with that he sprinted to the kitchen, Mandy cackling behind him. He grabbed the box of Lucky Charms and headed to his room, closing the door behind him. The girl stood in the corridor, laughing like a maniac.

“Shut up bitch!”

 

Not much later, Mandy left the apartment. She was meeting Fiona at Ian and Mickey’s, so they could get some of their essential things. They had already been there for the clothes, but one trip had definitely not been enough.

She saw Jimmy’s car parked outside the complex. They had already arrived. She caught the lift and fished out the spare key she had, entering.

 “Hey. Fiona?”

The older Gallagher’s head popped out from the bedroom. “Hi Mandy. So glad you arrived! We need your help, we don’t understand which clothes belong to who.”

Debbie appeared from inside the bathroom, flushing the toilet behind her. “Yeah, and rummaging through their boxers it’s just… Gross! Hey Mandy!”

“Hi Debs!” after all those days, she was actually genuinely smiling. The Gallaghers could do that to her. “What, you expect me to decide whose boxers belong to whom? That’s just disgusting, I don’t even want to know what they’ve done using those!”

“Ew.” Debbie groaned. “Didn’t need that in my mind.”

“Well, neither did I, thanks a lot! That’s almost as gross as my dad’s -” Mandy heard from behind her.

“Yes Jimmy, we’ve had enough of your daddy issues already, shut up.” Fiona interrupted.

“Hello Mandy.” He greeted.

“Mandy arrived?” they heard from the kitchen. “Nice.”

“Oh, fuck me! CARL! Drop the knives!”

At the mention of his name, Carl appeared at the kitchen door, holding threes blades that most definitely belonged to Mickey in his hands. “Mandy, can I keep this?”

The Milkovich woman laughed. This boy was such a Mickey 2.0. “Yes, of course, if you don’t do anything stupid, or Fiona will kick our asses. But if they get their memories back, you better be fast getting them back here!”

“Deal!” and with that he returned to where he had come from.

 

Half an hour and two fully packed boxes later, they all sat in the couch, with issues to discuss.

“So, are we keeping the apartment?” it was Debbie who started.

“Well, yeah. I mean, I want to believe they will remember everything. I don’t want them to lose their house. They liked it in here so much. -”

“We know Mandy. And I agree. We can keep the rent if we all put a bit of money in.” Fiona completed.

“I talked to the landlord fifteen minutes ago, explained the situation.” Jimmy started. “He says he can allow the apartment empty a maximum of almost five months. And that only because he liked them!”

“So I guess all we can do is hope they remember who they were during these months…”

“Yes Debs, that’s it. We can keep watching if Ian has any flashes. Mandy, you do the same with Mickey, and we’ll keep in touch.”

The Milkovich nodded. She then got up, getting close to the centre table in fornt of the TV. “I’m just gonna leave this here.” And she placed something on top of it. It was the box with the rings. “This is their rightful place, ready for our brothers.” The others nodded in agreement. This was definitely the place where they should stay, awaiting their owners.

Not much later they left the apartment, giving a ride to Mandy, who, along with Fiona, was left in front of Lip’s company’s building, where they both worked. It wasn’t exacly his company, but he co-runned it.

After leaving college, the oldest of the Gallagher brothers developed a concept, along with a guy he had met there, Woody. The project was bought for a quite nice amount of money by a company, and with that, both boys got a job. Lip’s friend got transferred to California, while Lip stayed at the branch office in Chicago.

His boss did put a lot of trust in him, and after only just a few months, gave him a job title important enough to need a secretary. That was where Mandy came in. She was already dating Nolan when Lip invited her, but her boyfriend, despite being aware of their past relationship, knew that her feelings now belonged to him, and supported her into accepting it. And so far they just got along as friends decently. After all she worked for him.

Mnady had even taken some classes at Malcolm X after getting her GED, to improve her skills, since she didn’t want to feel like she was there just because she knew Lip, but also because she could do her job decently.

Meanwhile, it opened a vacancy in the sales department, and Lip got Fiona to get the job. Maybe it was a bit of nepotism, but Gallaghers stick together. After all those years managing the family, she proved to be really good at what she did.

Fiona left in a lower floor, waving a goodbye to Mandy. The latter got in her own floor and greeted Lip.

“Hey Mands.” He said back. “Much work in the apartment?”

“Don’t even get me started on that! Our brothers were a mess!”

“I can imagine.”

“Ian’s leaving the hospital today right?”

“Yes, in one hour or so I gotta pick him up.”

She nodded. “I just wish I could talk to him. I miss my best friend. But anyway, there’s no point moping about that now. It’s good to know he’s doing well.”

“Yeah, I know it’s hard. And how’s Mickey?”

“Well, the amnesia didn’t make him any less annoying. Only worse in fact. He’s probably at the hospital right now. Was gonna change his bandages.” Lip nodded.  “He still has some memories, you know? He just can’t place them.”

“What does he remember?”

“Well, today he kept saying our bathtub should be on the opposite side of the bathroom.”

“You mean he remembers the position of furniture in their apartment?”

“Apparently.”

“That’s fucked up. Why can’t they remember each other…? Anyway, there’s nothing we can do but wait for results.”

“Unfortunately.” She frowned. “Well, I’m going to my desk. If you need something, you know where I am.”

Lip nodded, and Mandy left.

**

Mickey was late. Pretty fucking late actually. Oh well, it wasn’t his fault they scheduled the appointment for right after lunch. A man’s gotta eat. Also the fact that he had fallen asleep after that hadn’t helped.

Shit, he had had one of his fucked up dreams again.  He had been having them for the past days. Not that he had told about any of them to Dr Imanu when he went there the former week. She didn’t need to know that his amnesia had made him develop a kink for freckled arms.

That’s right. He was constantly dreaming about pale arms, full of freckles and red hairs. Whoever their belonged to, if they actually did, they guy was probably hot as hell. Yes, because they certainly belonged to a guy. Those long fingered hands had caught his attention. The thug had actually dared to imagine those grabbing his ass, or around his dick, satisfying him.

He sometimes had glimpses of other body parts, but more faintly. Although he was most definitely a redhead. Of course mickey couldn’t just go around and tell everyone he had a thing for gingers now. Fuck no.

Half an hour after he was supposed to be in the hospital, he actually arrived. He approached the reception.

“Hey, I hmm… I had an appointment. Mickey Milkovich.”

“Good afternoon Mr Milkovich. Let me just check.” The lady at the fromt desk typed something, frowning immediately. “You are let Mr. Are you aware of that?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It was traffic. You know how buses are slow…” He excused himself. It was a blatant lie, he hadn’t even caught the bus, he had asked Iggy to bring him, but nobody needed to know that.

“I understand, but unfortunately you have been pushed to the end of the list. I’m sorry, but you will have to wait for a while.”

“How long?”

“About half an hour.”

“Fuck.” He muttered. “There’s no hope of getting in before, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

He sighted. “Well, I guess I can go and be back in thirty minutes then?”

“Yes, go for a walk or something and be back then, you’re already in the waiting list again.” She smiled at him.

“Okay. Thanks. See ya.” And after that he trudged outside.

In front of the hospital there was a park. Nurses would even sometimes take the elderly patients there for a walk. But right now it was just the perfect place to have a smoke. And that was exactly what Mickey was going to do.

It was a bitchy problem just having to light the goddamn cigarette with only one fully functional arm, but if a shot to the ass hadn’t made him stop, it wasn’t a broken arm that would do it.

He stopped in tracks.  _That’s right, I got shot in the ass_! Mickey had gotten a new memory back. But he just couldn’t place it.  _I think it was in a robbery. Was it? What was I robbing? Fuck, why can’t I remember shit?!_ He made a mental note to ask his brother later about it. He had the feeling he had been there with him. There was probably someone else, but he couldn’t  _fucking_  remember.

The man just pushed it aside for later, determined to enjoy his smoke without a care in the world, the way he liked it.

 **

Thank god finally! Ian was finally leaving that freaking hospital. He was just dying to go home, to see his family and eat proper food. God, he was so fucking tired of soup and sandwiches. He wasn’t having any of those in the near future.

He was so eager to leave, that he got ready long before Lip was due to pick him up. Well, he did usually get himself ready before time, it was a survival technique back in the Gallagher house, if he wanted to be the one getting a hot shower in the morning. But today he was really early. His brother would only arrive in half an hour. Oh well, he could start leaving now anyway. Not that he would go that much farther on his broken leg.

Putting his old backpack on his shoulders, he grabbed his crutches and headed to the hallway.

Luckily for him, the two people he wanted to talk to were together by the front desl. He slowly approached them, since he wasn’t used to the crutches yet.

“Hey nurse, Dr Imanu.” He said. The two turned and smiled at him. “I just wanted to say goodbye, and thank for everything.”

It was Anya who spoke first. “That is only our job. And we expect to see you, to treat that leg, and also in case you improve your memory.”

Ian smiled. “And I will be here. Four months right?”

“Until that leg is healed yes. Two weeks until I see you again.”

“Understood. Nurse - ” he turned.

“Skye.”

“Skye. I want to thank for the positive perspective. It was nice meeting you. And I didn’t forget. Coffee next week. That if I make it there.” He pointed at his leg.

They laughed.

“Yes, and I know you will.”

He hugged both women, said his goodbyes, and they parted ways, Ian heading to the park.

It wasn’t easy, but he eventually made it. Damn, he may be fitted, but holding on only a leg and crutches was quite a piece of work.

He leaned on a street lamp to send a quick text to Lip telling him where he was. He rested the crutches at his side while supporting his weigh on his good leg and the pole at his side. He took Fiona’s old phone out of his pocket, since the accident at turned his own one into wrecked pieces. He needed to buy one quickly.

 

  **Sent by Ian:**

_Waiting 4 u in the park in front of d hospital._

 

   **Received from Lip:**

_K, be there in 20._

 

Now all he had to do was wait.

He looked around for a bench to sit on, because he really couldn’t stand on his own for long. There was one close. In fact leaning against it was a guy with a broken arm, smoking. He was actually hot. Shorter than Ian, but had a rough look that only made him more interesting.  _Wouldn’t it be wonderful if he was gay?_ If he wasn’t wrong, he had actually seen the guy looking at him, first when he arrived at the park, though he hadn’t given it much importance, and now just before Ian turned around.  _Well, that’s exactly where I’m going to sit._

He grabbed his crutches – Wait.

No.

Crutch.

There was only one crutch by his side. He looked down. Fuck. The other one had slid to the ground. And on only one leg he couldn’t lower himself. _Fuck, fuck, what do I do?_  He actually tried it, but it was just useless, he couldn’t fold his left leg, so he couldn’t crouch himself more than one foot. Even with his long arm he couldn’t reach it.

“Fuck.” He muttered. He looked around, searching for someone to help him. But there was just an elderly couple strolling by and of course the hot thug with the broken arm.

 _Oh hell no!_  The guy was looking straight at him and grinning. The fucker was actually grinning at him. The redhead was being made fun of. No, now Ian felt challenged. He was gonna get that crutch from the ground no matter what. This was about honor now.

It was just that that was a pretty difficult (he wouldn’t admit now that it was impossible) job. He tried for a few more moments, not daring to look behind at the man who by now was probably full on laughing at him. That was until he saw a tattooed hand grabbing the crutch and handing it to him. Ian looked up to meet the most intense pair of blue eyes smirking at him.

“Looking for this?”

 

Having a smoke at the park had proved to be a quite good idea Mickey had had. It was a nice sunny day and there was no one bothering him, unlike at the apartment, where it was like nothing made sense and he was constantly being hit by a fluster of partial memories that made no sense at all, particularly those weird dreams he had been having, and it seemed like his siblings were not telling him all the important details he had forgotten, leaving behind some crucial points. Oh well, he would eventually manage on his own.

But the day only proved itself even better when Mickey saw what was probably one of the hottest guys he could remember. Of course the fact that he had amnesia added to the fact that he couldn’t remember many really hot guys. But shit, the redhead was damn fine, even with a completely patched leg.

He saw the guy glancing at him, and shifted his eyes. Fuck, he had almost been caught staring. A few seconds later he dared to look again. The redhead was now leaning against a post, rummaging throw his backpack and taking out what was probably his phone. Mickey saw one of his crutches sliding to the ground and grinned slightly. He knew what was about to happen.

And his senses did not disappoint. Soon enough the redhead was pointlessly trying to reach for it, but he couldn’t fold his left leg. Mickey must have been having the most boring of the lives in the past days, since he was having the time of his life watching this.

Oh fuck it, he was apparently a Good Samaritan now, he could give the guy a hand.  _Actually the hand, since I can’t move the other one._

He approached the hot redhead and grabbed his crutch. “Looking for this?” he said with a smug.  _Fuck, since when do I smug?!_

 

Damn those eyes. They were so blue.  _Why am I acting like a teenage girl?_ Ian thought to himself. He was aware that he was just staring with his mouth agape, but he couldn’t say a word. The man in front of him was still holding his crutch, with his eyebrows raised straight into his slicked back hair and was biting his bottom lip. Damn, he looked so hot _. Damn I wanna pin this guy to a wall so bad._

 

Okay now it was getting weird. Not that Mickey wasn’t enjoying their little staring contest, the guy had in fact a pair of piercing green eyes hard to shift your gaze away from, but he hadn’t said anything yet.

 

Ian finally managed to shake his head, breaking the eye contact. “Hmm, thanks.” He said, accepting the crutch from the other guy’s hand. Their fingers brushed in the process, and Ian was sure that enough electricity to power a house passed between them in the contact. The other guy ought to have felt it too.

“No problem. S’not like you were going anywhere on that leg.”

Ian smiled at him. The man was right. “Well, you’re not so good yourself.” He replied, pointing at the other’s arm. It was then that he noticed what was written in the guy’s knuckles, the word FUCK in capital letters. “And nice tattoos by the way.” He added.

 

Mickey looked down at his hands. Weird. People would usually look at his tattoos with disdain, or with fear, because with them came the fact that he was a Milkovich, and everybody stood away from the Milkoviches. But not this guy. No, the redhead had called them  _nice_. Not ugly, not disgusting, he had called them nice.

“The fuck you mean?!”

The guy looked alarmed at Mickey’s sudden outburst. “Hmm, no, no, don’t take this the wrong way, no. It’s just that… It’s just that not everybody has the guts to do something like that. I mean, that word, in plain sight… Wow, it’s not for everybody.”

Mickey softened his expression. The guy looked so alarmed, it was actually cute, not that the thug would ever admit to himself the use of such word. “Damn right it ain’t.” He replied more calm. “It just sucks that now I can’t put them together.” He joked, trying to unsuccessfully join his left hand with his other pinned one to show what he was talking about _. Why the fuck do I feel so at easy talking to this dude?!_

 

It was then that Ian was able to see that the knuckle altogether formed a sort of sentence, “FUCK U-UP”. His smile couldn’t help but return. He had been honest when he had said he found them awesome. They truly were. He understood that maybe they were supposed to be a sort of “stay away” sign, but the guy was even shorter than him, if there was something he didn’t give him was fear. Maybe a hard on, but no, not fear. And the guy looking helpless trying to join his hands hadn’t helped much in that department.

“Don’t worry, you’re probably gonna have that thing on for like one or two months. With stuck with this shit for four.”

“Well, yeah, I guess you’re more fucked than me.” He acknowledged.

“And speaking of which, I’m sorry, but I really gotta sit down. This thing hurts like a bitch.” Ian made a frown, to get his point crossed.

 

“Yeah, yeah, you should do that. I gotta go to the hospital anyway, or they will bash my head.” Mickey replied.

And fuck, the redhead was smiling again. They had been talking for like five fucking minutes (which was a record for the very much not talkative Mickey Milkovich), and that grin had faltered for probably one second.

“Okay, I guess we’ll be seeing each other a lot around here, with our fucked up limbs.” And he was still smiling. For fucks sake, no one smiles that much. And sure as hell no one’s smile makes Mickey’s stomach twist this way. This memory loss thing had even fucked his formerly very controlled emotions system.

“Yeah, I guess.” He replied nonchalantly. If he put more emotion in his words, he would probably end up smiling the same way, and that just could not happen. No, he really had to leave, this redhead was giving him way too foreign urges. “See you later firecrotch.”

 

 _Did he say firecrotch?_  “Wait, what did you just call me?” Ian asked confused.

 

That actually had Mickey smirking. He looked up from his shoulder, eyebrows raised, smirk on. “Well, I’m just assuming the curtain matches the drapes.” And with he turned, leaving.

 

Ian stood there for about three seconds, before understanding what the other had meant, and bursting into a loud stream of laughter.

It was only right about when Lip arrived that he realized they had never introduced themselves. Oh well, he was just hoping he would see him again, because someone he had just met was not suppose to leave him with that kind of butterflies in his stomach.

 

It was only when Mickey arrived at the hospital that he realized he had never asked the guy his name. Not that it mattered. He was sure the redhead was gay, if the way they had stared at each other was anything to go by, and he was sure he may have been a good hook up, but there were more fish in the sea. Also the guy’s toned arms, which even from underneath the mid-sleeve flannel shirt, looked painfully similar to the ones in Mickey’s dreams, were for him a sign to stay away. He didn’t need to start feeding his recent ginger kink. And it was not like Mickey did relationships, he wasn’t gonna change now.

There was also the chance that they would see each other again around the hospital. His dick definitely hoped so (because Mickey himself  _definitely_ didn’t).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those who may think mickey was a bit ooc in their encounter, it just wanna make clear that somewhere in their brains, the memory of the other is there. and if there was someone mickey used to be at ease with was ian, and his subconscious keeps that tendency, mickey just doesnt understand why. the same happens to ian. they still get that fuzzy feeling around each other, they just dont comprehend it.  
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter, stick around for more gallavich ^^


	6. Whoops Skye, forgot you were there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter 6, it was very fun for me to write it, i hope i portrayed our boys correctly, because their personalities really shine out in one particular scene (you will know which), so i hope i did okay with.  
> lots of love, enjoy ^^

“Took you long enough!” Ian complained, as soon as Lip pulled over and he slowly made his way to the passenger’s seat.

“C’mon Ian, give me a break. Mand - my secretary gave me a shitload of things to read, I couldn’t avoid her. Plus I’m only ten minutes late.”

“Still too much! I wanna go home.”

“Well that just sounded a lot like a whiny bitch.”

“This sounded like someone who has spent the last three weeks in a fucking hospital, feeding of soup and sandwiches. Wanna try it out and see how it feels?”

“I’ll pass.”

“Good. Let’s just get going.”

“Alright alright.”

 

Roughly twenty minutes later they were pulling over the Gallagher house.

“You better hurry, Debbie is waiting for you. She wanted to see you before going out.”

“Yeah, because what I can definitely do with my broken leg is walk fast. What else you want me to do? Run a random marathon while singing?” Ian replied sarcastically.

“Calm down little brother, I’m just the informant. Now get your ass out of my car and go see your family.”

“I’m trying.”

Climbing the steps to the house wasn’t easy, but he eventually managed it. He opened the door, taking in what his memory had almost wiped out. The coat hanger was still full of messed clothes, and the living room still felt familiar, even though it was quite different. The old dirty armchair had been replaced by a blue leather one, and they now had a bigger couch, in which Debbie was zapping the also new and bigger LCD. He could hear Fiona and Jimmy chatting in the kitchen.

“Hey Debs.” He greeted. She hadn’t heard them coming in, but at the sound of his voice, she turned around, smiling.

“Ian, you’re back!” She got up to hug him.

“Yes I am. But… my back… You’re squeezing me too much Debs.”

“Oh sorry.” She mumbled, stepping back.

“Is that Ian?” Fiona entered the living room. “Hi!” she hugged him as well.

“Hey Fi.”

Jimmy greeted him from behind her. “Hey man, how you feeling?”

“Been better, been worse. But I’m cool.” Meanwhile, he turned to his remaining brothers, who were climbing down the stairs. “Hi guys!”

“Ian!” Liam yelled. He tried to run to his brother, before being pulled back by Carl.

“Remember you can’t talk with him about Mickey, alright?” The older muttered in his year.

Liam sighted. “I know, I know. Let me go.” And with that the almost nine year old ran to his brother, hugging his chest tightly.

“Ouch Liam, my ribs!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Ian couldn’t stay standing for long before his good leg started feeling dizzy from supporting his whole weight, so he went to the sofa, that in his mind was still a brand new one, though he knew that they probably had had it for a longer time. He had the idea that they had another couch, but he actually thought it was maroon, not grey like this one. Not that he could trust his mind much nowadays, and the proof of why was right here.

He headed to the couch, and Liam sat at his side. Lip followed them, sitting on the armchair.

“Well Ian -”

“Yes Debs?”

“I gotta go meet Susan and Harry –”

“Who?”

“Sorry, they’re from my class. You okay with me going?”

The older redhead laughed. “Of course. You don’t have to stay here because of me. I can’t even walk! And Lip had already told me you were going out.”

Debbie smiled. “Okay then, I’ll go get my stuff.”

“I think I’m going with you.” Carl added. “Gonna see Bonnie at the foster home.”

“Cool. Jimmy, can you drive us?”

“What?” He looked at them, since he had been distracted talking to Fiona. “Yeah, sure, I’ll drive you. Let me just get the car keys.”

Three minutes in and they were all ready to leave.

“Bye Ian!”

“See ya guys!”

And with that only the three older Gallaghers plus the younger one remained in their places. Soon enough Liam got tired of their company and headed upstairs to the far more interesting company of his tablet, a Christmas present from Jimmy and Fiona. She went to the kitchen, leaving Ian and Lip in the living room.

“Hmm… Lip?” Ian started.

“What?” He noticed how his younger brother looked embarrassed. “Whatever it is you wanna ask, go ahead.”

“This is gonna sound stupid, but I don’t know anything anymore.” He put an arm on the sofa below him. “For how long have we had this couch?”

Lip burst out laughing. His brother looked so concerned. “I don’t know man. Fiona!”

Her head appeared at the kitchen entrance. “What?”

“When did you buy this sofa?”

She looked mildly confused. “I don’t know. Three years ago maybe? Why?”

“Ian doesn’t remember.”

Fiona looked at her ginger brother and then started laughing just like Lip had seconds ago.

“Fuck you two! You know I can’t remember anything!”

“Poor brother of mine.” Lip mocked. “But if you wanna say hi to the old couch, you can always go visit it in the homeless alley. Though I don’t think you will be welcome there.”

“You left the couch with the homeless?”

“No, actually our great figure of a father had the kindness of personally invite them to come pick it up, just for the price of a few bucks. How the fuck can even the homeless have more money than Frank is still beyond my comprehension. But as you can imagine, we didn’t know about this and Debbie came home to an empty living room.”

Comprehension dawned on Ian. “Oh okay!” He was now the one laughing. “We bought a couch because we didn’t have one.”

“Exactly. And if I’m not wrong it was you who eventually left Frank with a broken nose. Carl broke his finger.”

Ian couldn’t stop laughing now. He may not remember the past years very well, but his family was definitely still the same old batch.

But soon the redhead turned thoughtful again. “Hmm Lip?”

“Yes?”

“Did I have any recent relationships? I mean, my shrink told me I had a boyfriend but that it was long ago. Was I into anyone recently?”

“Hmm, no, no, not that I know of.” He lied.

“That’s good. Good.” He smirked.

“But why are you asking?”

“Oh nothing, it’s just that I met this guy at the park today when I was waiting for you and he was really hot.”

Lip glanced at the kitchen, where Fiona was staring back at him sadly. It was just so weird. Not even three weeks ago Ian had been here with Mickey, behaving like the happiest couple in the Southside, which they probably were. And now their brother was already commenting on random hot guys he had met.

Fiona returned to her dishes in the kitchen.

“I mean, I don’t even know if he’s really my type -” Their brother continued. “- but yeah, he was really hot.”

“Yeah Ian, cuz you’ve been out of the hospital for a couple of hours and already found your soulmate. Terrific.”

The redhead laughed. “Shut up. I’m just saying. He wasn’t even tall or anything, but had these blue eyes, bluer than yours. And I’m pretty sure he was gay. Even though he didn’t seem at first.”

“Oh, of course, your very gay gaydar.”

“I’m serious, I saw him checking me out.”

“Because you really look attractive with that bandaged leg.” Lip joked.

“Oh please, that wasn’t an issue at all. He had a broken arm himself. It was actually cool, because you could see his knuckles and they were tattooed, they said FUCK -”

The clatter of a dish crashing on the ground echoed from the kitchen, followed by some muttered swears from Fiona.

Ian stopped talking abruptly, while Lip got up from the couch.

“Fi you okay?” the redhead asked.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Sorry.” Her head appeared from the entrance. “Lip, could you just help me clean up this shit?”

“Yeah sure.”

Ian wanted to in fact, but there wasn’t much he could do nowadays but stay sit. Life was bitch.

Lip entered the kitchen, where Fiona was awaiting him worried.

“What the fuck?” she whispered to her brother.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“Did Ian just see Mickey? I mean, maybe it wasn’t him -”

“Fiona, we both know it was. Not much tall, broken arm, tattooed knuckles? Sounds like Mickey.”

“I know but… Shit, how did this happen? Weren’t they suppose not to run into each other?”

“I guess someone made a mistake.” He stopped for a few seconds, connecting the dots. “Mandy said he had an appointment today, like one hour before Ian left -”

“Mickey always arrives late.” Fiona stated.

“And Ian left earlier.” Lip completed. “Shit.”

They stood like that for some moments.

“You guys need any help?” they heard coming from the living room.

“Yeah Ian, cuz you can do a lot on your leg.” Lip replied.

“Oh fuck you!”

Lip returned to his sister. “Don’t worry Fi, they didn’t even recognized each other. They’re not gonna start a scandal in the middle of the street.”

“But what if Ian remembers him as a homophobic thug or something?”

“He didn’t Fi, so no worries. Didn’t you hear him saying that Mickey was checking him out? I’m serious, if his brain ever decides to remind him of Mickey, I’m sure it’s gonna be the gay ass man he turned into. And that’s who Mickey’s gonna be anyway.”

Fiona still looked uneasy, but nodded. “Okay, I’m trusting you on this. Now help me out, I already broke a plate because of those two. Do you see them? They don’t remember the other, but still manage to find him, and remember to find them hot.” She realized.

“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking surreal.” Lip agreed.

**

Mickey entered the hospital,  _definitely not thinking_  about the ginger at the park. Damn, for someone with a broken leg, the guy was really hot. Not that Mickey was thinking about him. But shit, he wondered if the guy was any big down there. Something in his mind told him he was.

He finally managed to get into his appointment, where first lectured that delays like his could be very inconvenient ( _For fucks sake, I’m not a fucking five year old, I do what I fucking want!_ ) but eventually got his arm checked and his bandaged changed.

He was finally ready to leave the hospital when he heard a “Mickey!” from behind him. “Fuck” he muttered. He really couldn’t avoid that damn coffee date. He turned round, facing Skye.

“And don’t give me that look, I know you were trying to avoid me. But I’m persistent.” She smiled.

“Yeah you fucking are. Do you want something from me?”

“Look Mickey, we don’t know each other that well, tough I think we could one day become good friends -”

“Yeah what, gay buddies or something?” he mocked.

“Exactly that. But as I was saying, I see you're in a shitty situation, you pretty much have only your siblings because you forgot everyone else -”

“Thanks for stating the much fucking obvious that I clearly didn’t already know.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just saying. You should get out of that circle. And I’d like to help you with that. And as I’ve told you, I know a guy that I really think you should meet.”

“Yeah, I think it figures I’m not much available for a fuck right now.” He waved him arm as an explanation.

“Well, not that he is in much better shape.” She muttered. “But what I mean is a date.”

That comment definitely didn’t help.

“Okay, look, Skye, I’m gonna call you Skye -”

She nodded.

“- I don’t do that. I don’t do boyfriends. For me it’s just a quick fuck and that’s it.”

“I know, you’ve told me that. But then just this once. I won’t even contact you again if you don’t want me to. And you don’t know if the guy won’t turn into a good one night stand in the future!”

She kinda had a point in there, but damn, this woman was really persistent. He would never have much of a choice even though he wanted, he was starting to realize.  _This is why I’m fucking gay_. He thought to himself.  _Women are way too complicated shit._

“Come on Mickey! Do this, please.”

Mickey finally gave in.

“Aight, okay. But don’t expect me to call you again after this.”

“Yes.” She actually jumped excitedly.

_Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?_

“You already have a phone?” she asked.

“Yes, lucky you.”

They exchanged numbers. Skye was quick to announce that they would be going out in four days ( _Already??_ ) because she had already talked with the other dude.

“Okay then, persistent nurse. I gotta leave now. The bus awaits.”

“Oh, you don’t have your brother picking you up?” She asked concerned.

“No, he brought me, but he’s at work. That’s why I gotta get going, that shit ain’t gonna wait for me.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, and here I was delaying you! Yes, yes, you should go. I’ll text you the place.”

Mickey nodded. “I guess I’ll see you in four days then. See ya.”

“Bye.”

And with that the man raced to the bus stop.

**

_The ass was damn fine, and all Ian wanted was to press his hands to it and leave scratch marks all over it. The guy had black hair, and his back arched below Ian in a way that only drove him insane._

_The other man turned around, assuming the form of the hot guy from the park. Ian leaned in, and soon they were kissing. The kiss was rough, with tongue and teeth, and it was all Ian could wish for. He pushed the other man back and jumped on him._

_“I’m gonna fuck you.”_

 

Ian woke up with a startle.  _Fuck_. He had been dreaming about the guy in the park again. Apparently that was all his mind could do nowadays. He felt his morning wood pressed against his leg. Shit, this had been his morning ritual lately. He got up to go to the bathroom, to at least rub one out. He couldn’t even take a proper shower with bandages covering his leg (the ones in his chest had finally been removed yesterday).

Ian had been having these extremely horny dreams right since he had been in the hospital. Not all nights, but many. The same body, always, with that ass that was driving him insane. He could actually hear a faint laugh coming from the other man sometimes.

But things had taken a new turn since he had returned home. Or better, since he had met the guy from the park. His mind had decided that that was now the face of the man whose behinds he was starting to know by heart. Ian didn’t know if that pleased him or annoyed him. It was something in-between probably.

Naively he had hoped to see the other yesterday again at the hospital. That only made him come back home with a sad boner a no hope at all.

Today he had his meeting with Skye. Skye and her mysterious friend that she insisted to be perfect for him. Ian still didn’t feel like calling the whole thing a date. First, because Skye would be the anyway, and second, because apparently his mind had already decided who to focus on. Maybe the guy wouldn’t be his type anyway.

He still had time to get himself ready. He only had to go to the café where Skye had arranged for them to meet after lunch.

He lazily got downstairs after completing his task in the bathroom, finding Fiona already pacing in the kitchen and his three younger eating breakfast.

“Hey sleepyhead.” She said sweetly.

_Sleepyhead? Wait…_

The word sounded painfully familiar in his mind, he just didn’t understand from where.

 _Maybe Fiona just calls me that frequently_ , he tried to convince himself, though it still didn’t feel right. He decided to just push the thought aside. He had been doing that a lot lately.

“Hmm, morning guys. What’s for breakfast?”

“I did waffles.” Debbie replied from her seat.

“Oh great!” And he headed to the table. “Fi, do we have coffee?”

“Sure.” She placed the pot in front of him. “There you go.”

Ian just stood there eyeing the coffee. Apparently not even pouring himself coffee made sense anymore. Nothing really made sense anymore. He was getting a bit tired of it.

**

Mickey got up far later than he should have (which resolved into Mandy complaining that he was a lost cause), shoved away his dreams of redheads that nowadays were only of one specific redhead, had lunch, and got himself ready. Why he was going to this thing was still beyond his comprehension.  _Oh that’s right, that nurse is a fucking pain in the ass._

But now he had to get going. Plus all Mandy needed more was to sweep him out of the apartment, she was like a tape in a continuous loop, always telling him to get his ass out of the house.

He found a black shirt in his dresser and a pair of grey jeans, and decided for those. They seemed decent enough. He gelled up his hair and shaved his beard, since he was starting to have some stubble.

"Oh Jesus Mickey, you are not back to that!" Was Mandy's first sentence as soon as he stepped foot in the living room, which was right next to the hall.

"What?" He asked disoriented.

"That shit in your hair!"

"What..." He put his hand to his head. "The gel?"

"Yes!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, I've always put gel on my hair."

"No, you stopped that years ago."

"Well I don't fucking know why I did that, but if I fucking want to put gel, I fucking will. Fuck off Mandy!"

Mandy didn't say anything anymore. She did know why he had stopped. Ian kept saying that it was bad for his hair and that he preferred him without it, and eventually convinced her brother into stop using the gel. And Ian was right, Mickey looked much better without it.

"Anyway, I'm leaving. See you later douchebag."

"Assface!" She retorted.

**

Ian was the first arriving at the café, which was what Skye had predicted. He managed his way through the tables, hugging her in the end while still supporting on his crutches.

"Hi Skye, how are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. What about you? How's that leg?"

"Meh, it's getting better. But this takes time."

"True. Well, have a sit, as you can see I'm still on my own."

"Yeah, but I'm a bit early anyway. It's hard to measure how long it will take me to get to certain places. My sister Debbie drove me. Its weird, I don't even remember her learning how to drive, but apparently I helped her with it."

'Well you know that's gonna happen a lot. You have to get used to it."

"I know. And I'm trying. It still feels weird sometimes though. But moving on, what's the name of this guy anyway?"

"Hmm? Oh, Mickey. His name's Mickey." And with that she glanced at the door. Ironically, there he was, just coming in. "Look, there he is!"

Mickey. That name... There was something to it that Ian couldn't place. But he liked it. He glanced at the door after Skye talked.

 

Mickey entered the coffee shop, glancing around looking for Skye. He spotted her waving at him, and then his eyes darted to the man sitting next to her.

 _Oh fuck no. Fuck no_. Of all the people that could inhabit the fucking world. Of all the fucking people Skye had to be friends with the ginger from the park.

 

 _Shit_ , was Ian's first thought. He didn't even know if this pleased him or baffled him. Both he guessed. He definitely had mixed feelings all the time when it came to that guy. Mickey. His name was Mickey.

 

Mickey walked to the tablet, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Of all the fucking people it fucking had to be you right?” He started.

“Same back to you.”

“Wait, wait.” Skye was a hundred percent disoriented right now. “You recognize each other?”

“I met Firecrotch here at the park in front of the hospital four days ago.” Mickey stated.

“Yup.”

Skye was a hundred percent baffled. “What? How…? And what did he just call you?”

“OH, Mickey here -”

“Oh, so now you know my fucking name?”

“Yes, Skye here told me your fucking name, Mickey Mouse!”

“Oh fucker, you say that again and I’m cutting your fucking tongue out.”

“Yeah right, bring it on. As I was saying, Mickey here is just assuming the curtain matches the drapes.” Ian finally explained turning back to the woman.

 

Skye kept looking back and forth between those two. What the actual fuck. For two seconds she thought they had actually recognized each other. But no. Apparently they had already managed to meet at the hospital. Not even hours apart appointments could keep them apart. The irony! But what had Mickey called Ian? The curtain matches the…

She burst out laughing. Those two were even better together than she had expected. This had been a great idea.

The two man looked at her, smiles playing on their lips. God, Mickey was actually smiling. This was incredible.

“Well, have a sit Mickey!” she managed to say, finally stopping her laughs.

“And my name’s Ian by the way. We never had a chance to introduce each other.”

 

 _Hmm, Ian_. Why did the name sound so right? Mickey looked at the man in front of him, and it just felt so perfect, like of course he wouldn’t have any other name. But that was just his head.

He sat next to Skye, meaning that he was right in front of the redhead. Ian. Fuck, now his fantasies had a fucking name.

 

“So Mickey, how’s your arm?” Skye asked.

“It’s getting better. My ribs are still a pain in the ass, but I’ve had worse.”

“Shit, you broke your ribs too?” Ian wondered.

“Damn right I did, can’t even stretch without feeling like I’m being tortured or something!”

“No shit, me too! It’s fucking awful! But where are you from, really?”

“Hmm, here, Southside.”

Ian looked at him confused. “Wait, what’s your surname?”

“Hmm, Milkovich.”

A look of recognition appeared on the redhead’s face. “Fuck, you’re a Milkovich!”

Mickey nodded. “Born and raised.”

“How the fuck is a Milkovich gay?”

Mickey stared at him with his eyebrows raised. "Not even gonna answer that bullshit. And don't treat me like I'm a fucking celebrity. Where are you from anyway?"

"Oh, you probably knows us too, I'm a Gallagher."

The older snorted. "And you talk about us?? You Gallaghers are like a fucking disease, spreading like bunnies and always making the biggest fucking fuss possible."

"Oh right, because your family isn't like as big as mine. And at least we don't wander around beating people up just for the sake of it."

Mickey paused. "Let me explain you Gallagher, if they got their asses whipped, its because they fucking deserved it. We don't do things without a reason."

Ian raised his a hands in defeat. "Alright, alright, you are all forgiven of your sins."

"Yeah yeah Firecroth, keep acting like that and you might cmake a reason for yourself."

Ian leaned closer. "I would love to try."

They stayed like that, glaring at each other intensity, Ian with a smug, Mickey with his face closed, clearly trying to hide his own smile.

Skye was eyeing them both, sipping on her drink. This was amazing. She didn't know how they used to be together, but seeing them now was still incredible. The chemistry they had, how they kept teasing each other. Mickey, who she knew to be quiet and not receptive at all was actually smiling! Skye guessed their brains hadn't totally fallen into oblivion. And they had completely forgotten her presence! Not that she really minded it, after all that was her point, to introduce them to each other, even though they had already managed to get together.

Mickey was the first to break the eye contact. "Fuck off." He then got thoughtful. "Oh that's right, I saw you Gallaghers when I was at the hospital. They were with my sister when I woke up. One of the brothers had had an accident or something -" Realization dawned on him. "That was you."

Ian nodded. "I guess I was." He smiled. "But yeah, I saw your sister too, I think she's friends with mine. She's pretty by the way. I used to be in her class, though I don't remember it much, but I know she was always wearing tones of make up. You should ask her if she remembers me."

"No, I'm not fucking gonna, and don't you hit on my sister!"

"Mickey I'm gay."

"That doesn't matter, stay away from my sister."

"Oh don't worry, I'll rather mess with her brother."

And for the second time that day, Mickey went speechless. However this time he did look away, hiding his shy smile.

It was looking away that Mickey suddenly noticed Skye's presence at his side, confirming her suspicions that they had indeed forgotten she was there. Ian looked too, having the same reaction as Mickey.

"Shit Skye." He started. "You shouldn't have to put up with this."

"Oh don't be sorry, I am loving this." Mickey huffed at her side. "I told you, you were going to really get along. However, I think this is my queue to leave." She started rummaging through her purse.

"What? No Skye, you don't have to go." Ian pleaded.

"Oh Ian yes I do. What I wanted was to introduce you to each other. So my work here is done." She placed a bill on the table. "Do me a favour and pay for my drink -"

"You aren't seriously fucking leaving?!" Mickey was still in disbelief.

"I already told you, I am. And please order something for yourselves. Mickey can you just move away a bit?" She was trapped in the booth between the wall and him. He actually slid off of it, allowing Skye to get out.

"Why the fuck would you move over?!" Ian spat out to Mickey. He then turned to Skye. "C'mon, you're not gonna leave, that makes no sense, you're the one who set this up."

"Oh yes I was, I know that very well, and gladly, it went as I wanted it to. So of course I have to go and leave you two. I'll catch up with you, don't worry." She turned to the other man at the table. "And as we settled, the choice is on you. Text me if you feel like doing something again. Bye guys." And with that she left, leaving them both stunned with the quick change of events.

 

"Why the fuck did you move over?!" Ian blurted out again.

"I don't fucking know! Fuck off man!" Mickey blurted back. "Fucking cupid wannabe bitch." He muttered to himself.

"Hey, don't call her that." The redhead had heard anyway.

Some more very awkward and silent minutes passed, until Mickey snapped and started talking again. "Yeah, I can't do this. I don't do this."

"What?"

"I don't do this! I don't do dating, I don't hang out with random guys, I came because of that annoying nurse. She's gone, I'm leaving." He started sliding off the booth.

"No, wait, c'mon, you don't have to go just because Skye did."

"I got shit to do anyway. See you man."

"But wait, can I at least -"

"No, my fucking phone number is staying with me." He replied to the unfinished question, already leaving the café. Ian knew better than to follow. Mickey had known exactly what he was going to ask, but Ian still didn't regret asking. He guessed there would always be something hanging in the air every time they saw each other. He paid Skye's drink and soon enough left the coffee shop as well.

 _This guy is gonna drive me crazy and I haven't known him for even a week_ , he thought to himself. Little did he know that he wasn't the only one thinking the exact same thing in that moment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked it, the next chapter is going to be a very important flashblack, so stick around!
> 
> as said before, lots of love, thank you for reading my fic!


	7. Flashback 2, part 1 - "He may be bipolar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thsi flashback covers a big time span, and it was getting so big i had to split it in two. it wasa very important for me to write it, because it was on this chapter that i got back to this fic after having stopped writing it. this is my point of view of how the writers could have been smarter, and when i diverge from s.3/s.4 canon. i hope you enjoy it.  
> more thoughts at the end of the chapter.

Flashback 2, part 1

 

Mickey heard feet walking on the gravel behind him on the abandoned building where he used to go shoot targets. He knew immediately it was Ian. Fuck, he should have never brought him there those weeks ago.

They hadn’t seen each other ever since that day. That fucking bullshit day when Terry had walked in on them fucking, and made them both experience what was probably the worst feeling ever. The last time they had seen each other’s face, they were both covered in blood, Ian awkwardly putting his clothes on while trying to exit the house as soon as possible, while Mickey stood on the couch breathing heavily and “the Russian”, as his father had called her, put her clothes on as well and left behind an Ian that never looked back. None of them had been able to say anything, of course, given that one wrong move and Terry would shoot them both right there.

But Mickey wasn’t ready to see Ian again. Not yet. Ian had been to this same place not many days ago, but Mickey hadn’t even looked at him. He could not face the hurt that would be plastered on his face, only for Mickey to make the boy in front of him, the minute he started talking, even sadder. But he guessed Ian was trying his chances again.

“Hey Mick.”

The dark haired boy didn’t answer back. He didn’t even move from the place where he was sitting on the ground.

“I just wanted to know -.” he continued. “We haven’t –. We need to talk about this. Mick?”

But he was still unresponsive. He saw Ian gulp and head to the bottle of Jack he had left on a windowsill. The redhead grabbed it and threw it out.

“Hey! What the FUCK, Gallagher?!”

“OH, HE SPEAKS!”

Mickey got himself up and headed out of the building. He knew Ian would be following him anyways, but yes, he was running away.

“So that’s it. We’re over. Your dad beats the shit out of us and you just disappear, no conversation, nothing?”

Ian grabbed Mickey’s shoulder and spun him around. He pushed him back. “Get the fuck off!”

“And what? FUCKING TELL ME WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN!”

“We can’t fucking do this anymore.” Mickey finally blurted out.

“What you mean?” Ian slowly stepped back.

“You, me, whatever the fuck this is. Can’t happen again.” He watched as Ian’s face completely fell.

“Wait, what? What the hell happened?”

“I’ve told you before, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend here. I ain’t gay.”

“Is all this bullshit because of your dad? Is this stupid silence because of him?!”

Mickey’s face flinched enough for Ian to understand that this was all indeed because of Terry. He couldn’t even imagine what had happened behind those walls as soon as he had left the Milkovich household.

“Mickey, c’mon, just because he caught us -” he was now pleading.

“Shut the fuck up, you faggot! This ain’t about my dad. I’ve had enough of you. I’m done. Yeah we had some good fucks, but you can fuck off now.”

“You kissed me.” Ian stated.

Mickey gave him the same look he probably gave someone before beating them up. “Big mistake. Go to that old viagroid of yours if you want it.”

“Mickey you can’t lie to me. I know I mean something to you.”

“You don’t mean shit.” He dismissed him. “Now fuck off, will ya?”

“Mick -” Ian tried to approach him again.

“Don’t fucking touch me you fag!” he pushed him away again.

Ian’s face hardened, hiding his feelings away. “So what? Do you want to fag bash me? That make you feel like a man? Come on. Go ahead! DO IT!”

Ian just really needed to shut up. Mickey was just trying to protect him. Why couldn’t he understand that? If Terry ever caught them together, even if just hanging out, he would kill them both right there. And while Mickey was fucked for life anyway, he couldn’t let that happen to Ian. Mickey needed for him to be safe, and if that meant them not being together anymore, so be it. As long as the Milkovich saw him safe every day, protected from his father’s hands, he would feel rested.

So he did something that would make him feel guilty for days, maybe weeks, but Ian needed to stay away from him. He did exactly what he had been asked for. The redhead didn’t see the first punch coming to his stomach, but he immediately crumpled to the ground.

“Fuck.” Mickey murmured. He turned around to leave, when Ian started speaking behind him.

“You love me. And you’re gay.”

This was the true issue. Because what Ian had just said was right. But he could never know the truth. He would never know. Not if it meant his safety.

“Just admit it. Just this once.” He paused to get up. “Just FUCKING ADMIT IT -”

Mickey threw another punch to his face, sending him to the ground again.

“Feel better now?” Ian asked. “Feel like a man?”                          

And he sent a kick straight to the Gallagher’s mouth. The latter stood there on the floor, bleeding from his teeth, in clear pain. Mickey had to look away and leave.

“Feel better now.” He simply stated, and left, pushing his feeling away from his face and his heart.

Meanwhile there, on the floor, something snapped in Ian’s mind. He felt it slowly building, something that had been boiling ever since Terry caught them fucking and made him watch as an unknown whore made Mickey pretend to be what he wasn’t.

Nobody wanted him. Fiona had too much to worry about, and a boyfriend that she cared too much for. Lip had stopped giving a shit about him, and his younger siblings were still too young for anything. His father was a drunk ass, his mother had abandoned them all, and even his best friend now preferred to be with his brother, his brother who got to have everything he didn’t. And Mickey. He thought Mickey was the one person in his life who wasn’t entangled with someone else from his family, he thought they were both there for each other. But he preferred to please his father rather than fight the odds with him. In the end, nobody wanted him.

And then he made up his mind. Monica may have been crazy, but she had been right about one thing: he should get what he wanted and make a way of getting it.

He was getting into WestPoint one way or another.

**

The day he was leaving, Ian went to the Milkovich house, mainly to say goodbye to Mandy, but also to see if Mickey had any intention of stopping him. That was the only think that would make him stay.

But of course Mickey would never have the guts.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Just -” _don’t leave me_ , Mickey wanted to say. But he couldn’t force himself to do it. This could not be happening. Stop seeing Ian was one thing, because he knew he was there anyway. But now Gallagher was leaving, to the army. Mickey could not keep an eye on him, even be there to protect him from his father if things ever came to that. No, this was a whole other level of enemy, and he wasn’t gonna be there. He was too much of a pussy to stop him.

He sat down on his bed, wiping the tears that had formed in his eyes away, while Ian left. He heard Mandy stepping into his door.

“The fuck do you want?”

“Really? That’s all you’re gonna say to him?”

Mickey lifted his head at that. Mandy knew. How the fuck did she know? Gallagher had never told her, he knew that much. But she had somehow figured it out. He guessed it shouldn’t have been that difficult for her, since she was so close to both of them. Or she had just probably been eavesdropping for a long time. That didn’t matter in the end, because one way or another, she knew. And she was pissed at Mickey.

“You’re a fucking pussy!” She finalized, and left.

 

Months passed, with Mickey never hearing from Gallagher again. He would ask here and there about him, but he had to be careful, people could not get suspicious about his behavior. He hadn’t however forgotten for a second about the redhead. He even shamefully kept a hidden photo of Ian he had stolen from Mandy inside a magazine in the bathroom, and he would sometimes (often) jerk off to it. Thankfully that fatidic day with his father had never once again been mentioned by Terry, but that still never made him more at ease.

Lip had once been at his door asking about Ian, saying he had been on some fucked up shit at the army. Mickey’s mind immediately filled with worry, but he acted nonchalantly. Of course the fucker didn’t buy his act, he knew that Ian and him had been more than just a thing.

But of course things would eventually escalate one day. He was sitting on the toilet, doing his business, when a diner uniformed Mandy barged in. God that squirrel hat shit was really awful.

"Hey no, what the fu -" He protested. "Can I take a shit in private please?"

"Douchebag go find your boyfriend." She retorted.

"Get the fuck out! Close the door!"

"I looked for him yesterday all day and he's not answering my texts!"

He paused. "What the fuck're you talking about?" But he knew exactly what, or who she was talking about.

"Don't play dumb with me. Ian!" He finally lifted his head to look her in the eyes. "You know that you're the reason that he left? So go find him. I gotta go to work."

"Not my fucking problem." He dismissed her, even though his mind was once again racing with worry. What had happened to Ian now?!

"You know what? Nothing's ever your problem! For once, you know, make something your problem!" She replied while stealing his cigarette and leaving the bathroom, with the door wide open.

And Mickey didn't have an actual comeback now. Fuck. "What the fuck does a squirrel have to do with waffles anyway?!"

But he did went looking for Ian. And he found him. In the worst situation possible.

 

Things had changed. Mickey wasn’t seventeen anymore, so no more juvie for him. This time if the cops caught him, it would be real life jail, and he wanted to avoid that. So he tried to get in less but better scams, to shorten his chances. Iggy and Colin were usually there too, and they would split the money (even though Mickey got 50% and them 25%, because he was the brains of the operation). Mandy had quit school after failing her last year for good. She now worked at a waffle house. Mickey actually found the honest job good for her, although he sort of wished she had gotten her GED or something, so she wouldn’t follow her family’s steps, but having a job was a good start.

But apparently he wasn’t the only one who had changed, of course. Ian was a complete mess. He wasn’t in the army anymore. He danced at a gay club. He had been nearby his family all this time and never telling them anything. He had vague answers to Mickey’s questions. He was doing drugs.

Mickey brought him home nevertheless. His home, not the Gallagher’s. It was still up to Ian if we wanted to see his family or not. The ginger had passed out at the entrance of the club, and was still like that when Mickey laid him on his twin bed and sat down next to him, eyeing him with a mix of despair, longing, and… no, he wouldn’t say that word to himself, ever.

He saw a shadow coming from the door and looked up, seeing Mandy there. Her eyes were sad, but she had a small smile on. After all, that was her best friend right there, who she hadn’t seen in months, and he was safe now (or as safe as he could be, according to his situation).

 

Ian woke up confused, at first not recognizing the bed in he was on. That situation was kind of common these days anyway so he dismissed it. But then something clicked in his mind. He knew this bed. Very well in fact. He and Mickey had fucked right here loads of times.

He lifted his upper body quickly, scanning the room around him, until his eyes laid on Mandy, who was sitting on a chair by the door, probably just waiting for him to wake up.

“Hey.” She smiled.

“Hi Mands.” He answered, still a bit groggy.

“How you feeling?” She sounded so unsure. This was not the Mandy that he knew when he had left.

“Hmm, I don’t know -” He made a more sudden move with his head, which caused a sharp pain on his forehead. “Oh, shit, nevermind that. I feel like shit.” He put his hand to his head. “I’m gonna take a shower.” And got up to leave.

“Sure, suit yourself.” Mandy watched as Ian left the bedroom. He was changed. Maybe that black eyeliner that used to be her trade mark and that was now smeared all over his face didn’t help her judgment, but he didn’t look like that caring boy that she had once fallen for.

 

Ian went to see his family after getting cleaned up. Mandy had asked if he wanted her to go with him, but he said this had to be something he had to do alone. Plus, she couldn't skip work.

He stood in front of the gate, struggling in his mind if he should enter or not. But who cared, if his family didn't want to see him he could just walk out of there and go to the Milkoviches again. His family would not disturb his good mood.

He figured Debbie and Carl were probably at school, and Lip had enrolled in college according to Mandy, so he figured Fiona and Liam would be the only ones home. Time to figure it out.

He opened the front door, making Fiona's head snap. He watched her expression change from confusion to absolute joy, and she ran to hug him.

The Gallaghers were all together again.

 

Ian was different. Not as in “the time spent away changed him as a person” different, but as in Monica-different.  Mickey just didn’t know that that was a thing, or else he would probably have done something about it. The Gallaghers were too enrolled with their own useless shit to take a better look at their brother, who at the eyes of an outsider would obviously look abnormal, like a maniac. And Mandy was too much out of it, with her encaging boyfriend Kenyatta in constant track of her because of Lip, to be of any help to Mickey. So the thug was facing this ginger tornado he couldn’t keep up with all by himself.

Despite it all, in the end it was Mandy who, indirectly, made things take a dramatic turn, and getting Ian the help he needed.

It all started when Mickey found Mandy’s face beaten into a pulp. Kenyatta had reached his limit of chasing after Lip. Two days after the beating, Mandy allowed Kenyatta back in the house, acting as if her black eye wasn’t his doing.

 

Ian couldn’t believe it. His best friend never acted like this, she used to be the skank of the neighborhood, always with a line of guys behind her, not someone who was controlled by her gang boyfriend. She needed his protection, and he had promised to take her out of that house, even if Mickey had had enough (although he knew that that wasn’t true).

“Ian just leave me, go to Mickey.” She said nonchalantly, fidgeting at Ian’s touch and pretending to give a shit about the spaghetti in the pot.

“Mandy I promised to take you out of here.”

“Ian, I don’t -”

“Yo!” called Kenyatta, getting up and towering above them. “Let go of her, she said -”

Ian didn’t know what was getting into him but that son a bitch needed to get out of his and Mandy’s fucking way. He was ready to remove him from the picture.

The knife by his side was suddenly in his grasp, it’s edge glued to Kenyatta’s throat. He was ready to do anything for his best friend and right now, that man needed to disappear.

“Hey, hey!” Mickey suddenly appeared at his side. “Easy, easy.”

The knife eventually went to his boyfriend, who hid it away immediately, but Ian didn’t forget. Kenyatta was trash and needed to disappear eventually. Mandy was too important and it seemed like Ian was the only one with the energy needed to solve the situation.

 

Days after that, Ian was glued to his and Mickey’s bed, naked, and his body felt too heavy for him to get up. Life was a bitch anyway, why should he?

 

The Gallaghers insisted with Mickey that all the signs pointed at Ian being mentally ill. That he needed to get hospitalized. “He may be bipolar”, Fiona had said. But the black-haired was having none of that. They were not going to put his Ian in a nuthouse. He could take care of him.

Just like he promised, all the knives were hidden and he managed to put Ian on some form of clothing. Around a week later, Ian seemed more receptive to touches, even though Mickey was still sleeping in Colin’s room. He managed to put the redhead in the shower and give him a bath, and he finally agreed to eat something.

One month later and he was back to himself. Mickey actually felt satisfied with his success. Fucking Gallaghers, always doubting him. He knew he could take care of Ian, hadn’t he told them? His ginger was happy, living with him, loving him. Ian seemed pretty well and so Mickey was too. He just wished he could take him out of that cocksucker’s club where he was treated like meat, but if it was something Ian enjoyed, Mickey could only accept it and try not to judge.

**

Fuck, post-coital bliss was the best sensation in the world, Mickey thought to himself. Ian was still sprawled on their bed, which these days had turned into Terry’s bed. After all, that was exactly what the motherfucker deserved, a couple of faggots christening his bed.

Mickey’s chest was sticky due to his own cum, and that was why he was heading to the bathroom to clean himself a little before spooning with Ian. He went to the one near the kitchen, since it was closer than the one from his former room. However, as soon as he entered it he was faced with a sight that could only fright a man. The sink had pretty much been painted red with a liquid he very well knew, blood.

  _What the fuck?_ It was four fucking a.m., and those huge stains had not been there when he and Ian and went to bed. “Ian?” He called out into the bedroom.

“Hmm… Yeah? Feeling like getting down to it again?”

“Can you come over here for a second?”

“Do I really gotta? It feels so good under the sheets -”

“Ian please”

 

It was the tone in Mickey’s voice that made Ian get up. He was starting to worry. He put on some boxers and headed out. “What is it?” He asked while reaching the bathroom.

“Look” Mickey pointed at the sink.

Ian was able to see it as soon as he entered. _Shit._ Those were quite some blood stains.  

They looked at each other. There was only one person in that house besides them. Or actually two. One of them was a disgusting bear and the other was Mandy.

Ian was going to kill him.

 

Mickey watched as his boyfriend’s expression changed from one of understanding to one of rage. But he needed to stay in control. “Ian, Ian, chill.” he whispered, putting a hand on his chest. “I’ll go there first okay? See what’s going on. You stay behind alright?”

Ian was still fuming but he nodded, letting Mickey take the lead. He stayed behind breathing heavily.

Mickey approached Mandy’s door, careful to be silent. He couldn’t know what was going on in there, but he also wanted to catch Kenyatta. He couldn’t go just knocking on the door, giving him the chance to escape any accusations.

He turned the doorknob slowly, peeking inside. What he saw would stay imprinted on his mind as one of the most disgusting sights he had ever seen, for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if everything goes according to plan, part 2 will be up a week from now.  
> im getting behind on chapters because of classes and studying and so on, so i sincerely apologize if i start posting less frequently. it's the only way i can cope between life and fanfiction, but i am trying my best. im also in a kind of writers block, but i think i will get ideas once i analize the latest chapters ive written.
> 
> it saddens me how the shameless fanfics per day are becoming less and less. i remember when there were tons and i was afraid mine wouldnt get noticed on the midst. now what frightens me is that there are no longer enough people to read it. but its not only mine, the fics that i read and are beautiful, and dont get enough kudos not because they're underappreciated, but because people are no longer around to read them, not like before.  
> shameless is a piece of shit nowadays, and though it still pulls me towards it, i am no longer watching it. its not because of that that gallavich wasnt once amazing, beautiful, and what ian has become is completely nonsesical and therefore i dont accept it as canon. there's bipolar in my family so i know for a fact that a person lke ian would have never dealt with it the way he did, thats were the inspiration for Ian's portrayal on this fic comes from, family. i really dont want those crappy "decision makers" back in shameless to ruin this fandom, so to all of those who still have faith in facfiction writing, thank you, not only for me, but for all the others.
> 
> PS: i hope the author doesnt get mad at me for the advertising, but if you want to read a good fic, go check out elfydwarf's "On Ice". 
> 
> Lots of love


	8. Flashback 2, part 2 - "Ian, you're bipolar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: graphic depicts of violence, murder atempt and sexual abuse, scroll past it if it may trigger you. 
> 
> So here is part two of the flashback that covers Ian's fall into bipolar disorder. However, as you may have seen from part 1, this is also a lot about Mandy, and how in this alternate universe she empowered herself and understood that she could be more than someone's side piece. it was a very important chapter to me so i hope you enjoy it, because it builds up so much of the story, and why mandy is so protective of the gallavich couple and it crushed her to see them away from each other.  
> hope you like it.

Flashback 2, part 2

 

The bathroom sink had blood splattered all over it, blood that absolutely, obviously, definitely belonged to Mandy. This was Kenyata’s doing, and Ian hadn’t killed him before, as he should have, but nothing would stop him now. He sure as hell would give the rapist what he deserved ever since the beginning.

 

Mickey watched as his boyfriend’s expression changed from one of understanding to one of rage. But he needed to stay in control. “Ian, Ian, chill.” he whispered, putting a hand on his chest. “I’ll go there first okay? See what’s going on. You stay behind alright?”

Ian was still fuming but he nodded, letting Mickey take the lead. He stayed behind breathing heavily.

Mickey approached Mandy’s door, careful to be silent. He couldn’t know what was going on in there, but he also wanted to catch Kenyatta. He couldn’t go just knocking on the door, giving him the chance to escape any accusations.

He turned the doorknob slowly, peeking inside. What he saw would stay imprinted on his mind as one of the most disgusting sights he had ever seen for a long time.

They were both on the bed, the huge bear on top of Mandy, slamming violently into her, with a pleased look on his face. He still had his boxers on, despite the bare ass Mickey was facing, but Mickey’s sister… he could clearly see that her clothes had been torn apart, laying behind her, and her bra was pulled down to her stomach, the straps clearly not having survived the hard pull they surely had suffered. That was visible on her shoulders, who spotted two very red lines on them. If that were the only red in the scene.

Mandy’s yoga pants had given in as well, hanging low on her knees with the middle shredded, probably because of Kenyatta’s bull force. Mickey figured the lacy rag on the floor, by the bedside table, was what remained of his sister’s panties.

But he wouldn’t be much worried if it were only for the torn apart clothes. Only god knew how many boxers had been ruined over his and Ian’s eagerness.

But her face.

Mandy’s eye was swollen black, with a bruise that had yet to blossom completely. Tears were copiously flowing down her face, and she had her mouth slightly open in a grimace, with a trail of blood coming out right into the white sheets. Mickey was sure she had been punched in the teeth. There was also dried blood on her nose of course. That human organ always had a special place in violent beaters’ hearts.

Even her nails, with a nice pink gelled coloring to them. Most of them remained intact, except her middle finger, whose nail was no more. Literally, her finger was bleeding with the remains of a forcefully pulled out nail. Maybe that was how it all started, with that one middle finger.

And this was only what Mickey could see from that angle at the door. He couldn’t even fathom what kind of wreck her whole body looked like.

“You’re mine you hear me?!” Kenyatta snarled between thrusts. “MINE! And you do what I want!”

Mandy could only whimper.

Mickey knew that if he wanted to get this piece of shit, he needed evidence. So even though it disgusted him to let his sister be in that position for a while longer, he fished out his phone to take some pictures. He put the 10 pictures per click mode on, and pressed the button. Of course as soon as the flash came to life, Kenyatta turned his head towards the door, disentangling himself from Mandy angrily.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” he growled, while also putting his pants back on, in order to not get his dick caught in the camera. _Too late motherfucker_ , Mickey thought. The ten shots quickly passed by, so he pressed the button again, to get some pictures of Mandy’s state, before it got too late. There would be no better evidence than that one, and not matter what happened to his phone, since the huge bear was coming towards him, those would always stay safe in the memory card. Kenyatta was not smart enough to get rid of that.

“You better leave right now or I swear to god -”

“YOU SWEAR WHAT, UH?” he grabbed the phone, throwing it right into the wall, where it stood stuck. Fucking paper-like walls. The mobile screen was gone, he just hoped he could still save the rest of it. “IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU THINK I’M GONNA BE AFRAID OF A TINY FAG LIKE YOU?”

Mickey didn’t flinch whatsoever. This guy didn’t scare him anymore. All it took was looking at his sister to see how he wouldn’t let the guy escape this time. It could be an army for all he cared. “Oh yeah you should be.”

Kenyatta only laughed. “You got some balls for a faggot, I give you that!” He replied before swinging his arm backwards, ready to throw a punch.

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF THEM!” Came a shout from the living room. “DON’T FUCKING DARE!!!”

Ian barged in, taking them by surprise while pushing Kenyatta away, who strangely gave in, given each other’s sizes. “YOU DON’T GET TO FUCKING TOUCH THEM!”

After the shock of an unexpected Ian, Mickey moved to action, rushing to the side of his boyfriend, who by now had Kenyatta pushed into the wall opposite to the door. It had all happened in a matter of seconds, only now was the black-haired connecting the dots, as he saw the knife deep into the rapist’s belly, its grip inside Ian’s very white knuckles.

_Oh no._

 

Ian peeked from behind Mickey as he opened Mandy’s door, seeing that disgusting black man Mandy called boyfriend raping her disgustingly. Fuck no, that was not going to happen as they stood watching. That motherfucker needed to die, it was the only safe way to get him off of Mandy for good. He would do anything for his best friend, whatever it meant.

He quickly went into the kitchen, grabbing that same knife he had once pointed at Kenyatta’s neck. He may not have slid it in that time, but no one was gonna stop him now.

He ran to Mandy’s door again, seeing the huge bear ready to throw a punch at his boyfriend. _Aha_ , he thought, _this guy has quite the fucking nerve, thinking it is even possible to hurt my Milkoviches and stay alive._ “GET THE FUCK OFF OF THEM! DON’T FUCKING DARE!!!”

He slid the knife inside the motherfucker’s stomach. It was the best way to weaken him and manage to put him against a wall, where Ian could trap him. After that it would be a piece of cake in his hands.

“IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD DID IT MAKE SENSE IN YOUR HEAD THAT I WOULDN’T DO SHIT IF YOU TRIED TO HURT ANYONE IN THIS HOUSE??” with that he took the knife out, stabbing him again in another spot. “UH?”

“Ian stop, you have to stop.” Mickey pleaded.

“Oh my god he’s gonna kill him.” Mandy talked, or better, cried, for the first time since they had interrupted the horror she was suffering. She couldn’t allow Ian to do that. Not that she didn’t want Kenyatta dead in the gutter, but Ian couldn’t get charged with a murder like this. Not because of this piece of shit.

Oh god they should have taken care of him. This was his bipolarity. He was being irrational, not in control of his thoughts. She knew all three of them would do anything to save each other, but they had brains!... Except when your judgement is clouded because of a treatable mental disease.

Meanwhile Ian was still in front of the rapist, throwing more menaces in. “SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KILLED YOU ALL THOSE WEEKS AGO! PRICK!” He actually spitted on him. He took a breath, ready to talk again, calmer. “You will hurt no one else, ever!” And he drew the knife out and in again.

Mickey trembled. “Ian! Stop.”

“He deserves to die Mick, I can’t.”

 “I gotta call the cops.” Mandy said, grabbing the phone from the bedside table.

“Ian, step away from him. Please.”

“He’s gonna hurt Mandy, I can’t let him live…” He was shaking, eyes bloodshotted.

“Please. Ian. I love you.” His ginger took a breath in. “But you gotta let go of that knife.”

“Mick…”

“C’mon.”

Ian nodded guiltily. He drew the knife out one last time, handing it to Mickey.

“Thank you. Hey hey…”

The redhead was shaking his head again, still trembling, and leaning in to hug Mickey, as he started sobbing on his shoulders. “I’m going to jail Mick. I don’t wanna go to jail.” He whispered.

“No, you’re not, it was self-defense, you aren’t.”

“But I think I killed him. Look.”

In fact, Kenyatta was passed out, like a block on the floor, now that Ian was not pressing him into the wall.

“Then you gotta let me check his pulse okay? You can go help Mandy. I bet she wants to hug you and thank you. I’ll take care of him alright?”

“Ye… Yes.”

They let go of each other, as Mickey approached the man bleeding in front of him. He put his fingers to the abusive fucker’s throat, feeling it pumping underneath them. Yep, still alive thank god. He couldn’t let Ian have a murder on his hands. Not when he was clearly disturbed enough already.

Shit. Ian needed help, and it was Mickey’s fault that he wasn’t healthy already.

 

Mandy’s body hurt too much. It was hard to get up after having that huge man on top of her. She should have never let herself bend over (literally) because of piece of shit’s needs again, not after the disgusting animal she got as a father. And this was the fucking last time. That she could promise herself. She would respect herself from now on. And learn some fight techniques as well.

She was forever thankful to her two favorite people in the world. They had protected her. AND SHE HAD BEEN CONSIDERING MOVING AWAY WITH HIM! The only place she hoped to get him moved these days was to prison. Or death bed if better. As long as Ian was kept away from that mess of course. And preferably treated. But in the end the fact was that she couldn’t, didn’t want to, move from the bed. Fortunately she knew the one person who could persuade Ian into stopping the blood bath. And he was right there, so she just did what she could.

 

**_“911, can I help you?”_ **

“P- Please, I just got raped.”

**_“Okay you must stay calm and tell me if you have any injuries. Where’s the person that abused you?”_ **

“It’s complicated -”

**_“You must tell us as much information as you can, and remain calm.”_ **

“My brother helped me. His boyfriend -” She needed to be careful with the way she told the truth, in order not to frame Ian. “He stabbed the rapist. To protect me. It was the only way, I’m so sorry. He’s over there on the floor… What have we done?” Now she was giving in to the pressure of it all.

**_“Don’t worry, I’m sure you did what had to be done. You need to give us the address and tell me if you are injured.”_ **

“I am, he threw a lot of punches, but nothing serious I guess. My address is -”

Meanwhile Ian was coming to her, looking to see if she was okay, and searching for comfort as well. He was not feeling well at all, the adrenaline now rushing out of him, as a feeling between satisfaction and guilt sunk into him. “Mands -”

She held her bleeding hand, telling him to wait a little bit.

**_“Is the man who abused you alive?”_ **

“I – I think he is. He’s passed out, but my brother is putting a shirt over his belly.”

**_“Okay, an ambulance has been sent your way. Another one might arrive meanwhile, for the man who abused you. But don’t worry, police is coming as well, and they will protect you. I assure you they will do what they can to have that man never hurting you or anyone anymore okay?”_ **

“O- Okay, thank you.”

**_“No, thank you for calling. More women should have the same courage. You were very brave. Stay safe. The doctors will help you when they arrive.”_ **

“Thank you again, so much.” And then she hung up, turning to her best friend. “The cops are on their way.”

Ian nodded repeatedly. “And an ambulance?”

“Two, for me and for that thing.” She pointed. Ian looked so scared standing there besides her. It was shortly past 4 am, and there they, the four people that were in that house pretty much oblivious of each other twenty minutes ago, now in the same room. The very injured young woman, the stabbed almost to death person, not worthy of being called a man, a short man who in just those minutes had grown psychologically far more than he ever would physically, and the last one, a man who was just ill and could barely cope with reality until treatment.

All he needed right now was something to hold on to, and Mandy ought to be that person, after what he had just done for her. Besides, Mickey was not only in shock (because of Ian, not Kenyatta), but also making sure that rapist stayed alive. In his mind anyway, dying was not enough for the fucker. The piece of shit needed to get in prison, with those scars made by a shorter gay man laid on his skin, hurting as he would be bended over and fucking raped, like what he had just done. Thank god Mickey had had that stint in juvie and got some contacts.

“Ian, you can calm down.” Mandy assured, patting the place beside her on the bed. She was also taking off her torn apart clothes, so she could comfortable wrap herself in the sheet. She couldn’t be bothered to pick any new clothes, and she figured putting on anything would hurt.

She felt no shame of removing her items of clothing in front of them. Not because she was shameless all the time, but because of what they had just witnessed. It’s not like there were any spoilers left for them and besides after the important moment they had just shared, a bit of nudity from the woman they had protected would not be a problem, just a fact.

She tugged herself under the sheets, as Ian sat. “What if he dies Mandy? I’m going to jail oh my god…” He leaned into her naked shoulder, crying.

“Ian no. It was self-defense.”

“But I wasn’t gonna stop and -”

“But you did. So the what ifs don’t matter okay? Besides this time the flaws of our judicial system play on our side. Judges hate black rapists, especially poor ones. Not saying it is a good thing. I just mean that you didn’t do it because you felt like it. It was to protect me so you don’t have to cry, and he’s the one who will pay for his actions. So thank you Ian, I think you just saved my life.”

“Oh.”

“I’m serious. Come here.” And with that she pulled his head to her bare shoulder, embracing his side. “But Ian…”

“Hmm.”

“You know what you need to do, right?”

He didn’t reply, only moving his head on her shoulder. He knew.

 

“Mands.” Her brother was in front of her, relief plastered on his face.

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” She smiled brightly through the pain. That would eventually go away, and right now it didn’t matter because she was happy. “I think… I think this was the final straw you know? I’m tired of looking for men, and settle for everyone. I need no men to be fulfilled.”

Mickey smiled, finally hearing something smart like that out of his sister. This whole situation was disgusting, but at least something good like that came out of it.

Mandy continued. “If someone worthy comes my way is one situation, but otherwise, I gotta stop acting like a needy dog all the time, and I will. It got me here after all, so if I get rid of that piece of shit for good, I will invest in me. This reminded me of dad, and how much I suffered. I promised myself I would never fall in that situation again and I failed, but no more. I don’t deserve this.” She felt Ian tightening his embrace on her, a silent agreement.

“That’s what I’ve always told you. You can be more than this. We’re not fucked for life like dad told us. I see that now. He was, but he dug his grave. And you got me. Us.” Mickey motioned between him and Ian. “I hope you’re happy now that you understood that you don’t need to settle for pieces of shit.”

“Yeah Mands,” Ian continued “You need no protection, not from guys like that. Because you’re a fighter already. So the ones who deserve to be with you are those who fight by your side, instead of making you cower. Just remember we’re here for you.”

“I know. I can’t even… I’m free.”

Meanwhile Mickey threw her a loose cotton dress he had found in one of her drawers, so she could put something on her bare skin. As he did that, the sound of sirens became clearer, announcing help had arrived.

**

Fiona was rushing to the hospital as fast as she could. Not many things could be more unnerving than the phone call she has shared with Mickey as soon as she woke up. She had four texts in her phone, one from her ginger brother, and the remaining three from his thug boyfriend.

**Sent by Ian:**

_hey, we’re in the hospital with mands, but everythings fine. xoxo_

**Sent by Mickey:**

_dunno if ian told you, mandy was raped, we’re in the hospital_

_shits fine but we gotta talk_

_asap_

 

Fiona was immediately up and calling him, hearing news nobody wanted to hear, but that the whole Gallagher-Milkovich bunch needed. Ian had stabbed someone. A sack of shit sure, but he still had lost his control and go for the kill.

At first she hadn’t believed in Mickey, she thought he was only being ironic, until he wasn’t. Fiona felt completely guilty. She had been witnessing her mother’s erratic behavior for her whole twenty three years and knew damn well how Ian needed treatment, before something drastic and totally unlike him happened, just like their mother. Instead of actually doing something, she left her brother to his unexperienced boyfriend, who was scared shitless of letting Ian into a “nuthouse” because he didn’t know better. She just let it be, instead of pushing Mickey into being reasonable on a matter she was much more experienced with. Of course things would have eventually escalated into a dramatic event. And it was her fault.

“How many times?” she had asked over the phone.

_“Three. All in the stomach. I think after that he saw Mandy’s state, and finally heard me. I got the knife out of his hand.”_

Tears were flowing down her face. _Goddamn you Fiona._

 

She rushed into the lobby, asking for a Mandy Milkovich at the desk.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but you can’t go in there now. Police officers are asking them some questions.” The receptionist said, clearly not worried about Fiona’s frantic state. She probably thought this was just one more of those outlaws from the Southside type of case, who would just go to juvie and be forgotten. It just wasn’t part of her worrying agenda.

“Yes, to my brother, who came in with her.”

The woman looked at the Gallagher sister like she was stupid. “And you will get to see him soon, but right know they’re -”

“No, _ma’am_ , I have the right to see him now. My brother is a minor and whatever he did was to defend his friend, but that doesn’t matter anyway, I’m his legal guardian so not only do I have the right to be by his side while he is interrogated, I should have also got a call far long ago informing me he was in here. Instead I had to find out from his boyfriend who’s here with him, and who I also intend on protecting from whatever crap is being thrown their way. So, before I fill a complaint on how you ignored the obligatory procedure in these situations because we’re just some Southside no ones, and don’t tell me that wasn’t it, direct the way to Mandy Milkovich’s room or at least to where my brother is.”

The nurse stood silent for some seconds, realizing that the redhead was a minor. She should have thought of that.

“Of course, I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was a minor. Mandy Milkovich is staying in room 342 and your brother is there. They arrived shortly ago.”

“How’s Mandy?”

“She has several injuries, but nothing too serious. A nurse has taken care of her.”

“And the black man that came with them?”

“He’s being operated, but I believe not in danger anymore. He lost a lot of blood before arriving, but has been taken care of. Police officers are taking the girl’s statement and as soon as he is stable will be taken into custody.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear. Thank you for the information. I’ll go meet them now.”

“Of course.”

 

Fiona reached the bedroom, shoving the two policemen out of the way in order to hug her brother.

She saw Mickey behind him, and she mouthed him a thank you.

 

What the receptionist had predicted happened. Kenyatta was taken into custody after Mandy’s statement, and was promised a long stint in jail. She wasn’t completely free yet, because Terry was still waiting to get out and cause them hell, but from her inner demons, that she was much free. Nothing could stop her after this, not after such suffering. Nevermore.

Ian faced bigger problems. After all, he had stabbed someone. Despite that, it had been in self-defense, and the Gallaghers also had the records of bipolarity in the family to show, pleading that such disorder had been triggered for sure in Ian. With these two facts in favor of them, and a judicial system that was merciless with black rapists, it had been agreed that Ian would be taken into a medical facility (“Just called it what it fucking is, Ian’s going to a nuthouse.” Mickey had nicely said) for thirty obligatory days, with the option of signing up for more after.

It broke Mickey’s heart, knowing that he couldn’t save the man he loved by himself, but if this was the closest he could get from saving Ian, so be it.

**

Two weeks after emotionally parting ways, a letter with something they already knew arrived at the Gallaghers mail from the medical facility.

**

Ian knocked on a door he had frequently knocked on for the past two weeks. Today was different though, and he knew it.

He heard the “Come on in” from behind the door, opening it to greet Dr Millan.

“Hi Ian, great to see you. Sit.” She warmly replied. He did as he was asked. “So, I didn’t see you these past few days, how have you been holding up?”

“I don’t know. I’m a little dizzy from the medication. But it’s a necessary evil right?” He said without much force.

“It is. I’m glad you have come to terms with that. I was afraid you wouldn’t understand it. But you know why you’re here, don’t you?”

He sighted. “Yeah, I do.”

“I explained that by week two I would have your diagnosis fully outlined, so we could also adjust your medication to your needs, instead of using the recommended general dosage.”

Ian nodded. He knew what was coming.

“But I guess you know what you are going to hear right?”

“Yes. I’m like my mother.”

“Don’t say it like it is a pejorative thing. Face it for what it is, a fact, not the biggest issue ever. Clinically speaking, you have Bipolar Disorder type A, with tendency for paranoia and hallucination. You have had more maniac than depressive episodes, and though that could change throughout the years, it does orientate us towards the adequate type of medication for you.”

“But I’ll never be truly fixed, will I?”

“Ian, you need to understand that there’s nothing to fix in you, and you’ve heard that a lot, but it’s true. It is the first step towards get back to a hundred percent. Did you ever think such of your mother? For what you’ve told me, you certainly didn’t, you just wanted her to take her medication and get back on track. Unfortunately she never accepted her disorder, so she had the wrong mind setting. Your siblings did not think like you, right?”

“No,” Ian agreed. “they always had the talk of how Monica couldn’t get fixed and me and my younger siblings should just to stop having faith in that.”

“You parents did not have the best behavior, and that was on them, not on this disease. You siblings could never see that, they just saw their erratic behavior and blamed it on the bipolar and alcoholism, because they needed an excuse, something to hold on to that justified the terrible parenting. It is completely normal and understandable, but despite them, you always saw things differently. You were really fond of your mom, so you were the one who sometimes saw past it.”

“Yes, but still…” Ian looked so broken in the eyes of the doctor. This wasn’t what he had planned for himself, she could see that.

“Ian, can I be honest with you?”

“Sure.”

“I’ve had the opportunity to meet your older siblings, even if briefly, back when you were admitted. And from that, and from knowing you now that it has been two weeks, I can’t help but think that you were the one who had the better chance of coping with this disease without making a problem out of it.”

“You mean I’m the one who deserved it?”

“Of course not. But look at it. You were the one who saw past it with your mother, so you are the one who has a chance of seeing past it with yourself. If you knew your mother was more than her bipolarity, you also must know you are more than it.”

“My brothers still look at me like I’m dying every time they visit. They really think I can’t be fixed.”

“And that comes from your mother’s outlook. It is the only reality they know. But now it’s the time for you to prove them wrong. Besides, I know there are others who don’t think you’re unfixable right? One person in particular.”

Ian smiled fondly, something that very much pleased Dr Millan. “Mickey.”

“Exactly. Rely on those who believe in you, including Mickey’s sister. After that you are going to show those who lost faith, your siblings, that nothing is wrong. Trust me, these are just some pills you have to take before going to sleep, and once your body catches their rhythm, everything will be okay. Also you can, you should, stop by regularly, past the regular appointments, just whenever you feel like you need. All you have to do is book an appointment.”

“I’m gonna get better aren’t I? I don’t wanna kill anybody, I almost did it-” Tears streamed his eyes every time he remembered how he had been expressionless as he stabbed someone with Mickey and Mandy pleading for him to stop.

“That situation wasn’t only triggered by your disorder, you witnessed and stopped a very sinful crime from going on. Don’t blame yourself. You may have been out of your mind, and in control of it, you wouldn’t have acted the way you did, but think that nonetheless you stopped a rapist. You saved you best friend. And once you settle in your medication, the control of your emotions will return.”

“Yes. I will move on. They’re just some meds I need to take right?”

“Of course. You are a whole person, not the medication you take. So don’t blame yourself or anyone on this, just move past it, and live happily.”

Ian was finally giving the glimpse of a smile. “Not more than some daily pills.”

“Exactly. Speaking of that, your meds. You know that in the beginning it’s going to be a trial and error. But we don’t start from the zero of course. We know what type of medication is adequate to you, all we need to figure out is the right dosage.”

“And then how many different pills?”

“You will be given a prescription of mood stabilizers, anti-depressants and antipsychotics.”

The redhead just nodded. He had figured it out by then.

“I also advise that after being released, you come by my office often. You have a court order for staying in for one month, a period that can be extended if the doctor, me, finds necessary, or if you want to willingly. Don’t worry, I don’t think I’m doing that. But still after that you have order to come twice per month for six months, as you know. Despite this, come when you feel like it. I know I’ve said it before, but all I want is to ensure you don’t do something you might regret again.”

“I know doctor. Thank you so much. I’ve been groggy these first days but I’m feeling better now. I hope I’ll be okay in the end. I just wanna go home to -”

“Mickey, I know. Don’t worry. Sooner or later you’ll be out of here, healthy, and with those you love you.” She smiled fondly at him.

Ian could only stare back with eyes full of hope, trusting everything would turn out for the best like the doctor promised. That’s all he wanted, to prove Monica and his siblings that he was more than this disorder, unlike what they all believed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say how it was hard to write the first part of the chapter, the rape and panic and then Ian not thinking clearly. thankfully i have never been in such an abusive situation, but i have seen a lot of testimonies and i hope i did justice to how women feel when being raped, because it really is something that should be more talked about, and i also hope i was able to describe a maniac person truthfully (i do have more insight into that).  
> leave your comments on the chapter, this one was particularly important for me when writing it, as you can see by its lengh, and i really hope it turned out with the impact i wanted.  
> thank you so much for sticking with this fic.
> 
> PS: unfortunately, life got on the way, and i will only be able to deliver a new chapter in two weeks. but fear not, this fic is not going to be abandoned, i just am really lacking time to fit everything in.


	9. Kill her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is a new chapter. I know there isnt much Gallavich but other plot points were necessary. Worry not, there will be a lot of our babies, after all, this is just in order for their worlds to colide again eventually.  
> Enjoy ^^

“Fucking cupid wannabe, that’s what she is.” Mandy heard her brother muttering as soon as he entered the apartment.

“Hey Mick, already home? Weren’t you going to have coffee with that nurse? Skye?”

“What?!” He hadn’t seen her entering the hall to greet him. “Hmm, yeah, I was.”

“But you just left. She didn’t appear?” The female Milkovich looked confused.

“Oh yeah she fucking did. She just decided to play nicey-nicey and arrange me with some dude.”

Mandy laughed. “Oh sorry, I forgot you don’t do dating.”

“Damn right I fucking don’t! And then the fucking bitch had to leave me there with the redhead.” He didn’t notice as his sister’s face went from playful to concerned. “What were we suppose to do?! Stare at each other and play boyfriend and girlfriend and walk on gay flower fields?! Total fucking waste of my time.”

“Wait, sorry, did you say redhead?”

“Yeah, fucking ginger. And Southside actually.”

“Oh fuck.” Mandy muttered. Mickey didn’t hear her however.

“Oh, that’s right, he said he knew you from high school. Guess you didn’t fuck him just cuz he was gay. One of those Gallaghers fucktwads.”

 _Oh shit, she could NOT have done this._ But Mandy had to play innocent. “Yes, Ian. He hmm… He was at the hospital when -”

“I was, I know. I ran into him once -”

“You did?”

“Yeah, couple of days ago, when I had an appointment.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” She blurted out.

“Because it’s none of your goddamn business, that’s why! Why am I even talking to you about this? I just wanna grab a beer and watch some porn.” He slid past her into the kitchen, but his sister followed suit.

“Watching porn? Why? So you can pretend those guys are the redhead? You find him hot?” She asked jokingly.

“Fuck off!” He flipped her the bird with one hand while grabbing a beer from the fridge with the other.

“Oh shit you did!” This was actually spoken in a genuine surprised pitch. Her brother’s brain hadn’t changed what he thought about his once fiancé, and that marveled Mandy in a way, though it also scared her.

“Shut the fuck up. What’s your problem with him anyway? Got a secret crush on the dude?”

 _No douchebag, you’re the one with the secret crush that your brain keeps away from you_ , she thought to herself. “Yeah, now I’m gonna crush on every gay dudes you feel like fucking. Just watch your fucking porn like you said you would.”

“Will do, bitch.”

Meanwhile, the girl went to her bedroom, grabbing her phone. Fiona’s number, on speed dial, was quickly called.

_“Yeah?”_

“Hey Fiona.”

_“Hi Mandy. Is something wrong?”_

“Hmm, yeah, it is. Is Ian home yet?”

_“No, he’s not. He went out with that nurse -”_

“Skye, I know.”

_“What you mean you know?”_

“Well, Mickey went out to have a coffee with the nurse too.”

Fiona’s line was silent for a few seconds.

_“Wait, are you saying -”_

“Yes, she’s trying to set them up behind our backs.”

_“THAT FUCKING BITCH! What the fuck does she think she’s doing?”_

“I don’t know! I’m telling you, we should just go to the hospital and put the bitch in her place.”

_“Definitely. But wait, she’s probably not working today. Hmm, let me think. Well, I can call the hospital, and if she is, we’ll just go there.”_

“I was thinking of just calling Nolan. He’s working today, he can check that out.”

_“Oh, of course, that makes sense, do that. Meanwhile I’ll try to get some information out of Ian when he gets home. Thanks for calling Mandy.”_

“No problem. And tell Debs by the way. She should definitely go with us. No one ever wins an argument against her.”

Fiona laughed. _“True. I’ll call her now, see if she can get here fast.”_

“Wait, where is she?”

_“Who knows? At some dude’s place probably.”_

This time it was Mandy who laughed. “Hmm, gotta talk to her about that later. And I gotta got. See you later Fiona.”

_“Bye Mandy.”_

And they both hung up.

 

Ian arrived home around half an hour after Fiona and Mandy’s phone call.

“Hey guys, I’m home.” He cheered to a Liam watching TV on the sofa, and a Fiona writing something at the kitchen table.

She immediately perked up at the sound of his voice. “Hey little brother! How was your afternoon?” She asked while he entered the kitchen.

“Oh, I guess it was nice.” He replied not very sure of himself.

“Hmm, you don’t sound like it. What happened?” The female played innocent. “Weren’t you hanging out with that nurse you became friends with?”

“Yes, I was. Actually she was going to introduce me to this guy -”

“Oh, and he wasn’t interesting?”

“Well, it’s more of the opposite actually. Remember when I told you and Lip about this guy at the hospital with a broken arm?”

“Hmm, yeah, I think so.” Of course she very well remembered. “Wait was it him?” Fake surprise sound intensified.

“Yes -”

“Damn that’s what I call a coincidence.”

“Sure, but that ain’t the end of it. You remember the Milkoviches, right? The dudes no one messed with? Well of course, you all saw the girl, Mandy, when I was hospitalized, but well, yeah.”

“Yeah… What? Wait, he was a Milkovich?”

 “Yes, he’s one of them. And very gay. And like super hot.”

“Oh, wow.” She once again faked surprise. But it was really amazing, how biology worked. Even not knowing Mickey, Ian still had time to find him hot. “Which one?”

“I guess the one Mandy was at the hospital with. Given his broken arm and all.” Ian replied, followed by a fond smile Fiona knew all too well.

However, no matter how weird it felt for her to say this, pretending to be how she used to be towards Mickey all those years ago, she needed to fake that she was unsure of him, if that meant drawing them away from each other.

“And you really think he’s an available option? A Milkovich?”

“Oh Fiona, I actually felt that shit they talk about, the butterflies in the stomach.”

You could pinpoint how that was when Fiona accepted to herself that the talk about the former thug being dangerous was useless when it came to her brother. If it didn’t work when he had had already years of experience of Mickey, how would it now that he didn’t even knew all the fuck ups they were capable of together? She figured she just needed to play along and make sure that it didn’t disturb them all too much in terms of possible memory flashbacks.

“If you say so. I can already tell that there’s no advice that will get that weird smirk out of your face. So then, the guy with the broken arm is friends with the nurse?”

“I don’t think you can call them friends, but yes, she treated him, while also taking care of me in Intensive Care. Probably where she figured out it could work between us.”

“Oh come on then! How did it go?”

“Terribly.”

Fiona made an effort to suppress a laugh. Of course it wouldn’t have gone well at all, knowing Mickey like she had come to the past years. “For someone who just left a terrible date, you don’t seem very upset.”

Her brother laughed at the comment. “I gotta give you that. It’s just that -”

“What?”

“Well, let me give you the whole picture. When we sat down, we immediately recognized each other, and it just hit off from there. I know it’s awful to say this, but we sort of forgot Skye was even there.”

Fiona laughed with meaning finally. It was just unbelievable. Sometimes she just wanted to smack them both in the head to see if anything would come back to their minds. It was proofed that those two apart was not something the universe was willing to try. “That good?”

“I don’t know! It was like we could just stand there bickering at each other, or talking about our shitshows of lives, and keep on doing it for god knows how long.”

“So you’re saying you were a match?”

“God Fi, please don’t say that. That’s too much.”

“But you don’t deny it?”

“Jesus, I don’t know! Stop asking questions I don’t know.” The smiled on is face wasn’t faltering however. “When we started paying attention to Skye again, she just said that that was exactly what she had been there for, and she left. And after that the conversation just died, the moment was so awkward that he just left. I tried to ask for his number -”

“And let me guess, Mickey refused to give it to you.”

“Yes. What the fuck’s wrong with a goddamn number?!” After the outburst, Ian paused, thinking of something. “I never told you his name.”

“What?”

“Mickey. You just said his name. But all I told you was that he was a Milkovich.”

Fiona froze in her place. _Shit. Fuck. What a dumb mistake._ “Hmm, no. You said he was called Mickey.”

“Did not.”

“Ian, I -” She tried to come up with the best excuse she could in her head. She decided to go for the half-truth. “Everybody knows who Mickey Milkovich is. You may not remember these things from the past years, but everybody recognizes the gay Milkovich. He used to be very blatant about that.”

“Then why did you pretend you didn’t know who I was talking about just now?”

“Cuz -” God, he wasn’t letting it go. “Cuz I don’t want you upset. I don’t want to keep remembering you of the things you forgot.” She gave him a shy smile.

Apparently the excuse worked. Ian’s features softened, and Fiona let out a relieved breath.

“Don’t worry Fi, I’m over that. Honest to you it’s true.”

“I know. It’s just -”

“Plus I’m confident I’ll get my memories back eventually.”

“You do?” That surprised the woman.

“Yes.” He smiled reassuringly. “Sometimes I get these random thoughts like helping Debs with homework and shit.” He decided to leave the part where he was constantly dreaming of Mickey these days. “So I think I will.”

She patted his shoulder happily. “That’s great! It really is.  I hope you get them too.”

Ian smiled back at her.

“Well, it’s nice talking with my sister, but I’m sorry, I gotta go to my bedroom, my leg isn’t enjoying me standing up very much.”

“Of course.” His sister grinned.

And Ian climbed the stairs step by step, eventually reaching his bed and sitting down. He fished out his phone. There was a text message that really needed to be sent.

 

**Sent by Ian:**

_hey sorry, thx 4 the afternoon. i need to ask u a favor_

**Received from Skye:**

_hey whatever u need. was today good?_

**Sent by Ian:**

_he left right after u :/ i wanted his phone nr but he didnt give it 2 me_

**Received from Skye:**

_ahahahah u want me 2 sent it?_

**Sent by Ian:**

_well, if u dont mind…_

**Received from Skye:**

_of course i don’t ahahah. gimme a min_

If Mickey thought he would get rid of Ian that easily, he was wrong. A Gallagher doesn’t give up on something he wants. And Ian wanted Mickey, bad.

 

“Dr Edwards, can I help you?”

“Oh, you definitely can. How about you helping my orgasms tonight?”

Nolan quickly realized who was calling. “Mandy, what the hell?” She laughed on the other end. “I’ve told you to call me on my cell.”

“I know, but I felt like teasing you. Did I succeed?”

He didn’t answer for some moments. “Well, yeah, kinda.”

“Shit, I hope you’re not with a patient.”

“You got lucky, poor five-year-old Sherman and his mother just left.”

“Well, if no one heard anything, then it’s alright. Anyway, I was just calling to see if you can do me a favor.”

“Yes, sure. What do you need?”

“Do you know if that nurse who treated my brother and Ian is working today?”

“Who?”

“Her name’s Skye…?”

“Oh, Skye, of course. Hmm, I don’t know, but I can check it out if you want me to.”

“Yes please, do it.”

“Ok, I’ll just go downstairs to the lobby and I’ll text you when I know anything.”

“That’s awesome, thanks, I love you.”

“But wait -”

“What?”

“Why do you need her, if I may ask?”

Mandy considered what the best answer could be for some seconds. “Oh, it’s just Fiona who wants some advice on how to clean Ian’s bandages.”

Nolan found the reason suspicious, but he trusted Mandy, whatever it was that she was planning. “Ok, then. I’ll text you later. By the way, is the offer you made still up?”

“What offer?”

“The help I could give you tonight… you know…?”

His girlfriend laughed. “Definitely. But at your place, cuz we ain’t doing that with both my brothers strolling around my apartment.”

“Yes, definitely not. Then I guess I’ll see you later babe. And I gotta hung up.”

“Yes, sure, I gotta go to. Don’t forget to text.”

“I won’t.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

Fions was helping Liam with homework when her phone vibrated.

 

**Received from Mandy:**

_skyes working the night shift 2day, we can go see her after 8 or smthg_

**Sent by Fiona:**

_yes sure, we can go after dinner_

**Received from Mandy:**

_works for me but we gotta b quick cuz im gonna c nolan. u talked with debs?_

**Sent by Fiona:**

_yes, shes pissed and shes coming with us. you want us to pick u up?_

**Received from Mandy:**

_yeah sure. 8 oclock?_

**Sent by Fiona:**

_works for me. c u later_

**Received from Mandy:**

_c u later_

 

Around half past eight, Debbie parked in front of the hospital.

“I swear, if this woman starts bullshitting us with lame excuses I’m going to her face.”

“Calm down Debs.”

“Seriously, who the fuck does she think she is?! Nobody asked for her goddamn help!”

They entered the hospital, the redhead looking like she was ready to put everyone on quarantine. It was Fiona who reached for the desk, requesting to talk to the nurse.

“And who is asking?” The receptionist inquired.

“You can tell her it’s Ian and Mickey’s family members. She will know who we are.”

“Sure then. Let me locate her.”

 

Cleaning a patient’s infected wound was never one of Skye’s favorite tasks as a nurse, but she knew what she was signing up for when she enrolled in that degree. It wasn’t Mrs. Hildy’s fault that a rusty pipe would pretty much stab her in the arm while she was plumbing.

However, she would rather clean a thousand disgusting wounds than face what she was about to. When she was beeped to go to the lobby as soon as she could, and the reason why, she took three deeps breaths and paid an unnecessary amount of attention to a wound that was long taken care of, just to avoid the Gallaghers and Milkoviches, who for sure knew what she was doing by now.

 

And they did. Thankfully the brothers weren’t there, just three (VERY) angry women. To be honest she didn’t know if that was better or worse. After all there was no bigger force than an enraged woman. Multiply that by three and you got what Skye was facing.

“Hello Skye…” Debbie sneered.

“Hello Fiona, Mandy. Debbie right?”

“Yes, but you can cut the bullshit. What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my brothers?!”

“Debs, chill.” Mandy put a hand on the redhead’s arm, steadying her “Let her talk first.”

“Yes nurse, you know why we’re here. So yeah, we don’t get all day, you better start explaining what made you think you were above us, and their doctor.”

“Okay, I understand that you are all very angry, but there is a reason for what I did. First of all, I don’t know if you were aware of this, but they had already found each other. That actually scared me today.”

“Yeah yeah, we knew about their meeting. Just didn’t know that a couple days later someone would be introducing them WHEN THEY WEREN’T FUCKING SUPPOSE TO.” Mandy snarled.

“I know all of that. But there’s a reason. It’s just that… when they were here, and I got some bits to talk with them, it just saddened me so much to know that nothing could be done for them. Because even me, who had never seen them, could see how blatantly obvious it was that those would fit together better than a glove.”

“That still doesn’t give you the right to do what you did.” Debbie said, now calmer. After all, she knew exactly what Skye was talking about. Those two had grown with each other, they were just halves of a whole.

“Is that so? Just think about it. You were advised not to tell your brothers that they had someone in their lives before the accident, because then they would be on this weird ground where they knew there was someone they used to love, but who didn’t remember them either. Right?”

“And…” Fiona continued.

“And nothing was ever said about how they couldn’t find someone “new” -” At that, Skye did the actual quotation marks movement with her fingers “- to start a relationship with. But I mean… Come on! If those two need to be together, there’s no better idea than induce them into being together again.”

Debbie was smiling at the moment. That idea wasn’t so bad. In fact, she should have thought better. That idea should have been hers. “And maybe later on the road, when they’re comfortable enough with each other, and together again, because yeah, I think we all know that that is what’s going to happen, we could tell them about their past, what they used to have!” She completed.

“Well. Yeah!” Skye hadn’t exactly considered that yet, so much further down the road, but it was obvious that that was what had to be done in the end. “To be honest, I still hope that they get their memory. That is what I was hoping the most for in this.”

“We all know that that might not happen. And it could still be a trigger.” Mandy retorted, still not buying the hopeful look of Debbie.

“It could. But I’ll be honest. You’ve know them for so long, I guess you know how they are in a way I’ll never be able to. But I was with them one time. And a time when they didn’t know they were part of each other. And boy you should have seen them. It was amazing. I don’t know if they told you this, but they forgot I was there!”

“Yeah, they do that sometimes.” The other three agreed.

“See? They didn’t change, they just forgot why is it that they’re acting like this!” Skye exclaimed excitedly. “Look, maybe with you all involved it would feel too strange, because you would have to pretend you don’t know one of them, and they would treat you like just that person from the neighborhood, because I saw that you were all known faces, just distant ones. I’m an outsider. I just met them. That is exactly what they need, a stranger who puts them in the same room, without them being able to question if there were any ulterior motives to do it. And they’re great guys, I wish I would have a chemistry like that with someone. I just want to help, because after what happened to them, they just don’t deserve to be apart.”

The two Gallaghers and Milkovich were silent for some moments.

“Okay.” It was Mandy who spoke up.

“What?”

“Okay. You’re right, this is what they need, what they deserve. And I want my best friend back as well. So you set them up on dates, do what you can to put those together. Though if I know them, today was enough to trigger something.”

“Besides, we wouldn’t stop you anyway would we?” Fiona added.

The nurse smiled. She was hoping to get the family’s approval, because she knew she wasn’t doing something bad. But this was something else. Not only were the women in front of her accepting what she was trying to accomplish, they were inciting her. It felt great. “It is true. Not after seeing them today. I can’t stop trying to get those two together. And I know the seriousness of what I’m doing, trust me. But it’s gonna be worth it, believe me. Thank you for listening to me.” She smiled widely.

“You better not fuck this up.”

Skye started laughing. _Oh my god, it’s a family thing._ “Sorry about this. It’s just that you truly are Mickey’s sister.”

 

**Received from Ian:**

_hey its ian. the firecrotch. got your nr anyway_

 

**Sent by Mickey:**

_what the fuck_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets hope i can post the next chapter next week, but anyway, i hope this chapter was good anyway.  
> ive been feeling self conscious about this work, wordering if it is good enough for the shameless shelves. i dont plan on stopping writing, but i cant help but wonder if im making the story interesting or just redundant.
> 
> but i dont wanna self pity myself, i just gotta keep writing!   
> leave kudos and comments if you feel like it ^^


	10. Please leave my dreams alone for once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's chapter 10, i think youre gonna like it (or at least i hope so). I know im like a week late, but this is my life now, i cant keep all things at bay and publish every week. that will happen less times now, because i really am with a pile of work that i cant handle in such short period. in order to do all things, between college and fanfiction, i dont wanna give up on this, but i will be slower with writing and therefore publishing. i am so sorry about it.
> 
> hope you enjoy the chapter ^^

Ian was trying not to wander around the house uninterruptedly and failing. And he had a broken leg, so this was indeed a big deal. Okay, he had Mickey’s number. Okay, he had been a sneaky motherfucker and got it from somebody else when Mickey had refused to give it. Okay maybe there was a reason Mickey had done that and Ian would make a fool out of himself if he said something to the raven-haired. Okay Ian couldn’t stop thinking about the guy and something told him he HAD to text him.

“UGH, FUCK YOU MICKEY!” he shouted without much force into the air.

“Ian, are you alright?” he heard coming from the living room. Carl was probably thinking Ian was maniac again. Where the hell where his sisters anyway?

 

In reality, Carl was just startled from hearing what seemed like the word “Mickey” coming out of Ian’s mouth.

 

“Just boys, Carl. You may have a girlfriend and think girls are the most complicated shit god ever created, but trust me, it’s about the whole spectrum of humanity. Gay men are no better.”

Carl appeared at the kitchen doorway, where Ian was at the moment, between one of his passing arounds. “What? You met someone?”

Ian faced his brother, who actually looked constipated while saying it. “Jesus don’t need to look at me like that. I lost my memory, not my ability to date. But yeah, that nurse from the hospital introduced him to me.” He smiled. “- though to be honest we had already met… anyway never mind. He’s a grump ass so it doesn’t matter.”

 _A grump ass? No…_ “Don’t sound like that’s true Ian. Who’s he?”

“His name’s Mickey, but -”

Yes, just what Carl suspected. He wasn’t stupid, and god knew this wasn’t just some magical coincidence. He wondered if his sisters already knew. He hoped they did. Maybe that had something to do with them being out of the house. But the boy had always lived without giving many fucks, so to be honest, he wasn’t going to start now. It was pretty clear that Ian did not remember Mickey but that he had caught his brother’s attention all over again. So Carl decided he would just roll with it. He’d talk with his sisters later.

“- it didn’t seem like he wanted to have anything to do with me.” Ian continued.

“Why you say that?”

“He got all weird once Skye left and -”

“Who that?”

“Hmm? Skye? The nurse, and she’s great. She left us alone cuz we were having kind of a bonding time, saying that that was what she had wanted, but as soon as she was out of there Mickey bolted.”

“Most unexpected.” Carl sarcastically muttered to himself.

“And I tried to ask for his number -”

“And he didn’t give it to you. Of course.” Carl finished.

“Well yes.” Ian was still heavy breathing.

Carl smirked. “That’s not it all, right?”

“No…” The redhead looked down. “I got the number anyway. Asked Skye for it.”

Now Carl honestly laughed. “That’s my bro. You’re so predictable. And that nurse sounds like the biggest shipper of you and him.”

Ian laughed. “Not really. Think I’m the one turning into that.”

“Okay. Look Ian, it’s like this, Mickey fought hard to be where he’s at.”

“You know him?”

Yep, Carl was still the no fucks giver, if this conversation was something to go by. “Mickey Milkovich right?”

Ian nodded.

“Ian you saw Mandy Milkovich at the hospital with Debbie. They’re sort of friends.”

“Yeah, she was there because of Mickey…”

“Exactly. We know who he is. Not like he’s unknown in the neighbourhood, and everybody remembers when he threw everything to shit and came out. So of course he’s still wary of everything, especially when a spark ignites with some guy.”

“And where do you wanna get with that?”

“You just go for it.”

Ian narrowed his eyes at that. “I don’t follow.”

“I’m serious. If I know Mickey, he would never give you his number. Not after you two just met. So just go for it. If I know you, the more time goes by the more into him you will be. Just a thought I have. So contact him. Crawl into his skin. And please just tell me when you two finally fuck, so we can bump fists.”

Ian was grinning widely. His brother was telling no lies. Something in his stomach turned every time the shorter man popped in his mind. What the fuck was even happening? They had seen each other like twice. Oh well. He planned on getting to see him plenty more often. He was going to move forward. “I’m gonna text him a hi.” He informed his brother, ready to go upstairs.

“Ian!”

“Yes?” he turned around.

“Maybe you should wait one day right?”

Shit. Carl was right. If he wanted something with Mickey, he sure couldn’t force it. If he went for it right away, Mickey would be scared away most likely. “I, hmm… I’m gonna wait until tomorrow.”

“Yes, you do that.” And with that Carl resumed to being a lump on the sofa.

**

Fiona and Debbie arrived to an already sleeping Ian. With all his injuries and bad slept nights, he preferred going to bed early in order to guarantee a decent amount of sleep. Still, they found Carl waiting for them.

“Fucking hey. Where have you been?”

“Hey lil’ bro.” Debbied called. She had been using the nickname ever since Mickey called him lil’ Gallagher once and the family customized it. It eventually stuck. “Don’t worry, we were going to talk to you about it anyway.”

“It’s about Ian and Mickey right?” They raised their eyebrows, surprised. “C’mon, you gotta know about them having met already…”

“For such a thug, you’re smart kid.” Fiona smiled.

“Not a kid anymore, Fi. I got beard now. But yeah, my bet is that you went to talk with the nurse.”

“Fuck me.” Debbie blurted out.

“Not stupid, lil’ sis.”

“I can see that. Yes, we talked with her and concluded there’s nothing wrong with it. They’ll probably figure it out on their own now anyway.”

“Trust me, they already did. Ian’s got Mickey’s number on his phone ready to ask him out.”

Skye had told the girls just that. It was gonna go so wrong. Mickey would just shit on Ian’s text and call him all kinds of homophobic slurs. Despite that, Mandy had promised she would try to do what she could to incite her brother into saying yes, even if it took longer than what Ian would enjoy.

All that was left was communicating the latest development to Dr Imanu. If the boys were already getting acquainted with each other, there was no need to keep making sure their appointments were days apart.

They just hoped nothing wrong had been done. After all, they were just rooting for their brothers to get together again. They had fought so much for their relationship, only for it all to fall apart thanks to one fucking driver.

 

**

_“Fuck Ian right there.” Mickey whimpered beneath him. He was grabbing the headboard of a wooden double bed, with his back hunched in pleasure. They moved as one, knowing exactly how to give pleasure to each other. Ian leaned in, sucking a mark on Mickey’s neck, right above the tattooed sentence that went from one of his shoulder blades to the other._

**_You and I are free_ **

_Mickey parted his lips, soon giving in to the pleasure shuddering through him._

_“Damn Ian, I love you so fucking much.” He breathed out._

_“What?” That made Ian thrust in faster._

_“I love you!”_

_And with that Ian was coming, filling Mickey with his own orgasm, as they both collapsed on the bed, with Ian still inside him._

_“I love you -”_

“- too.” Ian woke up startled. _Shit, not again._ What fucking time was it anyway?

He looked at the clock. Yep, just what he imagined. Five fucking a.m., the third time he was waking up because of Mickey, all in just one night. Except this time, he hadn’t woken up with a pretty big hard on. He could feel the sheets wet above him. He had orgasmed. Through a fucking dream. What the hell was going on with him? This couldn’t be normal. This tiny ass man was going to be the end of him. If his family found out, they would mock him until the dawn of time.

And what the fuck was that tattoo?! That was his tattoo! It was right there, smaller than the one in Mickey’s back he had just dreamt about, but still, it was inked along his upper left arm all the way to his shoulder, “You and I are free”. He had been out of the hospital for a too short period of time to consider the implications of it, but now that he reflected on it, who was “you”? He figured it was a reference to him, and his uncontrollable bipolar self being free of the maniac-depression. But what if it wasn’t? He made a mental note to ask Fiona or Debs. Maybe there was more to it. Or maybe this was just his brain fucking him.

In the end, these dreams were still getting weirder by the day.

He got up to put some clean sheets on his bed. If only he knew that not far off from there, a certain Milkovich was waking up for pretty similar reasons.

 

It was midday. Of the following day. Ian had waited long enough. He had had trouble falling back asleep because he kept waking up after more hard ons and orgasms of his dreams with Mickey. If he ever got the chance to see him naked, he would get pretty spooked out if he matched the exact description his mind had come up with.

The redhead grabbed his phone. It was now or never.

**Sent by Ian:**

_hey its ian. the firecrotch. got your nr anyway_

He waited patiently, hoping Mickey wouldn’t leave him hanging.

**Received from Mickey:**

_what the fuck_

 

Ian breathed out, not even realizing he had been holding his breath in. It was the answer he had been expecting. _Who cares?_ Despite the odds, Mickey had replied! Maybe there was still a chance.

 

This guy had to be kidding him.

He had been quite explicit with him that he was not allowed to have his phone number ( _yet… what? No Mickey, not yet not ever!,_ he thought to himself) and this fucker went around scavenging for it. How had he even…

“Skye.” he angrily mumbled to himself. Of fucking course. As if having a broken arm and memory loss wasn’t shitty enough.

Life really was a bitch to the common Milkovich.

 

**Received from Ian:**

_can i call u?_

 

Oh my god, what was this kid playing at? Seriously. Why Mickey actually bothered answering was beyond his comprehension (it really was when clinically speaking, but poor Mickey just didn’t know it), but still he found himself doing it.

 

**Sent from Mickey:**

_no you fucking cant wtf_

_in what fucking world did u ever think id say yes to that question?_

 

**Received from Ian:**

_was worth the shot_

 

**Sent from Mickey:**

_no it fucking wasnt_

 

God, this ginger was really getting on his nerves. Too bad it didn’t leave any nerve out, particularly the ones with direct contact with his dick, which twitched eagerly every time the guy’s muscular figure, clear even from his casted leg, as well as some of the vivid wet dreams that he kept having of him, popped in his mind. _Jesus, what the fuck is going on with me? I think this concussion caused more shit than memory loss. I’m fucking going insane._

Ian, thankfully, didn’t bother him more that day, but he got his sister to make up for that. She had spent the night at that boyfriend of hers, and was now firing questions like she had any right messing with Mickey’s business.

“Hey fuckface.”

“Shut the fuck up, I’m watching this.” He replied through a mouthful of over dated popcorn he had found in the kitchen. Still good enough.

“So has Skye contacted you again?”

“Fuck no, thank god.”

“And what about Ian? Have you had any contact with him?”

“Fuck off Mandy, I’m busy.”

Her eyes shone as the curiosity settled in. “Shit, you did! What did you say to each other?”

God, his sister was the worst pain in the ass ever. “None of your fucking business bitch, as you should know.”

“Did he text you? He did, didn’t he? Your face tells no lies, and I don’t care.” She moved to grab his cheap phone from the coffee table, but he was there first.

“What the fuck? Don’t touch my shit! He wanted to call me alright? Happy?”

 

And she was. Inside, she was beaming with happiness because how had they not thought of this before? Ian and Mickey would always manage to have a thing for each other going on, even if they allegedly didn’t know each other. Mandy looked at her brother and saw it, the spark at the mention of Ian’s name was still there, even if Mickey didn’t comprehend it. It was as if their brains were trying to tell them something in an alien language, and they were just learning it. She truly hoped their memories came back eventually. Meanwhile, this was great to watch. “Why didn’t you let him?”

“Who says I didn’t?”

“Of course you didn’t Mickey, c’mon, don’t you think I know how your sorry ass is with shit like this?”

Her brother just huffed at that, proving that she was right.

“You should, you know?”

“I should what?”

“Call him. Or let him call you.”

“Fuck no, go away Mands.”

“Mickey, look at me.” He did. “I’m serious. All you do these days is occupy space and grumble about how your arm hurts a lot and your ribs hurt a lot and everything hurts. Jesus, just go out and have some fun! If you’re afraid of your sexuality, fucking stop, you have been out of the closet for years, and giving no fucks, but getting very gay fucked instead. Nobody cares, you have to understand that. Dad’s gone Mickey. For good.” She could see how this information still disturbed him, just like it did for a while five years ago. It took a lot of time and a lot of Ian for him to see that no one was interested in him beyond the tattoos he drew or if Ian made him happy, whether he was male of not.

 

Mickey knew she was probably right, and he just wished he could be that positive. But damn it was hard. It was like he had woken up after sleeping for years, and nothing was the same.

Mandy wasn’t finished however. “So go call your ginger, -”

“He ain’t mine what the fuck Mandy.”

“-and tell him that you’re tired of sulking around. Go do something for yourself. He’s no less miserable than you. To be honest for me having a broken leg is worse than an arm. So go on a date, or whatever you wanna call it. But just get out of the house for fuck’s sake.”

 

Fucking Mandy. He fucking hated her. Getting these ideas in his head that otherwise he wouldn’t have. What the fuck was he doing? Why was he even holding his phone and pressing Ian’s number?

He had been in his bathroom, analyzing the tattoos he had scattered around his body (they weren’t many, but they were some), particularly the big one behind his collar, on the back, “ _You and I are free_ ”, which was the one he could make less sense of, when he hold his phone without thinking much of it and reached for the redhead’s contact. It was like an involuntary action. He just did it. And he just immediately regretted it.

Too late to back off anyway, since the redhead picked up after two rings.

 _“Mickey?”_ He sounded confused on the other end of the line.

“Yeah, it’s me, you can shove that surprised tone up your ass.”

_“Sorry, but since you told me to not even think about texting you, I am kind of surprised that you called me.”_

Mickey sighted. This was too much for him. “Yeah Gallagher, I know. Just listen alright?”

_“Sure.”_

“I don’t do dating. And I sure as hell ain’t no flowery fag.” If only Mickey saw Ian’s smile on the other side. The ginger could feel where this conversation was heading and to be honest he was far happier than it should be healthy. He had known Mickey for like a week, what the hell! “But my leg’s broken and my ribs are broken, and apparently I lost my memory -”

 _“Wait what?”_ At that Ian had to interrupt him.

“Yeah, I’ve got amnesia. Internal bleedings man.”

_“Shit. I got amnesia from my accident too.”_

Mickey didn’t answer for some seconds. “Fuck. We are definitely the unluckiest guys in the fucking world.”

Ian laughed on the other hand. It was like god was trying to tell them something. He just hoped he wasn’t wrong about what Mickey had called him for. _“For real.”_

“More reason for us to get out of the house and go do something.” The raven haired sensed how Ian was about to go on a victorious rant, and he couldn’t allow such “But this is not a fucking date you hear me? It’s just two guys who got shit all to do joining forces. Besides my sister pretty fucking close to kicking me out of the house.”

 _“YES!”_ Ian still screamed _. “Sorry, sorry, I won’t scream again.”_

“You better fucking not.”

_“But of course. I’ll go on a not-date with you.”_

 

Ian was beaming at the moment. Of all the things he considered, texting Mickey until he gave in, calling him though with the risk of losing his life, reaching out through their sisters… Never did the chance of Mickey calling him crossed his mind. It would be too surreal. Despite that, here they were. And Ian was fucking triumphant. He even had to get out of the house and pace around the yard for a while because he just couldn’t believe it.

_“Don’t push it Gallagher. But what you wanna do? And we’re not gonna go on a fucking dinner, so pick something else.”_

“Yeah, yeah. I wasn’t thinking of dinner myself. What if we went out for bowling?”

_“Bowling? As in heavy as shit black ball, holes for our fingers, pins to take down bowling?”_

“Exactly.”

_“Are you stupid or something?”_

“Why?”

 _“You do realize I got a broken arm right? And you have a broken leg as well? Bowling may require a hand ball, but you still need to give that bit of speed with your feet.”_ He talked as if Ian were a child.

“Well, yes, that is true. But that’s the fun part about it. With all these injuries we got between ourselves, how much can we score? That’s what I call a challenge.”

 

 _Fuck this kid_ , Mickey thought to himself. He was fucking insane. But worse of it all was that Mickey couldn’t help but agree with him. It would be awesome to try that out. _Fuck this kid._

“Okay you got me. Lets see how much we can dumb ourselves.”

_“Yes, that’s what I wanted. But I can’t tomorrow, I gotta watch my baby brother and go to the hospital. Maybe in two days?”_

It sounded perfect to Mickey. He definitely needed more than a day to let it sink in that not only was he going out, he was going out with a guy. “Sounds fine by me. I’ll meet you up at the bowling place.”

_“Well Mickey Milkovich, I can’t wait!”_

“Don’t fucking push it Gallagher.” He warned, and with that he hung up.

Shit, we was going out with Ian Gallagher.


	11. Debbie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! Gosh its been two months! I am so sorry for the delay, unfortunately college does come first and it took away all my time. hopefully i will be back to my regular posting, since the year is ending. i really wish i could have made things differently, i missed writing everyday. so please dont abandon this, i surely will not.

Despite how much Mickey told himself he was calm, he wasn’t. Not at all. Why was he even here?

In front of him stood Chicago’s bowling centre, the one everybody used for going out with friends, holding birthdays parties, going on dates. Not that he was on a date. Not at all. But fucking worse of it all, that fucking ginger kid was yet to be here. The more minutes went by, the more he realized he should have just stayed at home with his bowl of popcorns and his Wii remote (because apparently PlayStation remotes require both hands, which was out of limits for Mickey).

It was then that he heard a car looming by, and stopping right beside him, with two mops of red hair inside. Fuckety fucking finally.

**

Ian was going to commit a murder, he was pretty fucking sure of it. The day before, when he had nonchalantly commented with his family that he was going to go out with Mickey, they came onto him like lions free of their cage. He thought they wouldn’t care much and just let it slide, but apparently they gave a lot of fucks.

“Where?”

“When?”

“Tomorrow?!”

“Doing what?”

“Bowling?? You can’t play that Ian!”

Between these questions he barely even had time to answer, with mostly Fiona, Lip and Debbie firing at him as if he had a red target drawn on his chest. So after a while he just stopped answering altogether. It actually took them a while to figure he wasn’t talking anymore.

“Shit sorry Ian. We look like mad beasts.” Fiona realized.

“You sure do.”

“It’s just that this Milkovich seems to be pushing you a little. You just got out of the hospital Ian.” It was obviously Lip who stated that.

 

Hearing to her oldest brother talking, Debbie really just wanted to spit on his face. The redhead loved Lip, of course, but sometimes she also hated him to bits. Things had been like that for a while. The main reason, he wasn’t the only one who “got the brains” in the family but always made sure he outshined everybody else because he was the only one who could become successful.

Actually she truly believed that that statement was bullshit. Fiona ought to be intelligent, because you can’t take care of a whole family since you were twelve and not have decent brains in you. Bitches like Holly Herkimer would have just got pregnant and run away with their baby’s daddy, only to be left by him and became yet another malfunctioning family of another Southside of the USA.

Ian had quite the hardship, but amongst that, he figured what he was meant for. When he return to high school to graduate, he was desperately needing extra credits, so he signed up for tutoring. He was always good with English anyway. Better than Lip, because he comprehended the meaning behind the stories, something the dirty blonde never would. He became quite popular as a tutor so soon, everybody was coming to him for help. It was astounding. Still, the younger they were, the more he enjoyed tutoring. He loved seeing the magic and innocence in children’s eyes, eager to absorb the world around them in a period where the hardships in life were nothing but another game for them. When Ian realized he couldn’t get tired of that optimism and wonderful ideals, he knew he had found his path. Being the one that his younger siblings looked upon also had some impact. And so there he was, being amazing enough at his job, that people would sign up their kids to the school just to see how “the Ian Gallagher” handled them.

Carl was Carl. But you don’t just start ruling the streets out of nothing, and definitely not at such a young age, by being dumb. Carl had a hold on everyone and everything Southside. He was like a thuggish version of Lisbeth Salander from “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”. The biggest evidence of this was how even after Bonnie disappeared and him having no information on where she could be, there he was, visiting her more often than he needed, because he fought the odds, and found her, no matter the means to the end.

Lip was good at memorizing books, which got him so far as top of high school. At college, where you are more pushed into thinking, he soon realized he never did enough. But he always liked to whine about it, how he was so smart but couldn’t do anything with that because Southside didn’t care if you were smart. How he couldn’t get a girlfriend because nobody understood him and what he aimed at. How none of the Gallaghers could comprehend his college issues because it wasn’t their universe and they didn’t know how it functioned. Debbie always hated him particularly for that, because it seemed like, since it was so impossible for any other to get into college, he didn’t even care to try to help.

He was the luckiest guy on the planet, had gotten something that just a few could dream of, but still managed to spit on it.

Then there was Mickey, who wasn’t exactly fond of Lip, even though they had grown to tolerate each other over the years. He may not like Lip but he sure liked Debbie, and he was the first one to encourage her into going to college in a house where Fiona was too busy, and Lip didn’t care. After all, her brother didn’t have time for that.

So when she started studying really hard and searching what was need for her to get a full ride scholarship, no one but Mickey and consequentially Ian noticed. It was one time at dinner, on a Friday, that they finally looked at Debbie and what she wanted properly.

 

They were gathered around the table, Debbie chatting with Ian and Mickey about her latest research on women’s rights and how she could turn that into an essay to use in the “battle” for a scholarship she would have to fight, when Lip interrupted.

“Wait Debbie, you want a scholarship? For what? Are planning on going to college? Why didn’t we know that?” he looked confused.

Debbie could only make a disgusted face at her brother. Thankfully, she needn’t give an answer, as someone did it for her.

“Are you fucking kidding? You’re fucking pathetic Lip. Your sister’s been studying to get in Law School for months now, preparing this project on Women’s Rights to present to the school council.”

Lip looked more than surprised.

“Fiona knows it, Ian knows it, Jimmy knows it, all of them know! But you have your head far too up your ass to give a shit about what goes on in your fucking family! So much your sister didn’t even bother discussing it with you, when you were the one who could help her the most!”

Rarely did Lip get caught off guard, but this definitely did it. Only Mickey to manage such. “Debs.”

“Lip don’t.” Debbie retorted. “Before you even start saying I’m sorry, just stop right there, because you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for. What is it? For not helping me when to be honest I never asked for your help? Or for never giving much of a shit about any of us besides Liam when Fiona did something wrong and suddenly appearing as if you were god’s second coming and the only one who could ever do right beside your family despite being pretty much absent the rest of the time, so much that I don’t even consider your help as an option to take?”

Everybody around them were silent. Fiona didn’t even know how much Debbie had grown apart from Lip until then.

“Because for that you can’t apologize. Sadly that’s just who you are, a kinda shitty person. I’ve long stopped caring about that. You’re my brother, and though you’re important to me, you’re just not the type of sibling who’s always there for me, and it doesn’t bother me much anymore.”

“Debbie, you should have asked for help -”

He still had the nerve to say exactly what she asked him not too, and that was it. “NO I SHOULDN’T LIP! I should have asked the person who knows all about signing up for scholarships, and don’t worry, I did just that, MANDY is helping me just fine! You didn’t even wanna go to college! And you never even stopped to consider you would be fucked for life if it weren’t for her, who did you all the work, did you? Don’t you understand that I never wanted your help because if you can’t help yourself, how can you help ME?! Don’t even try it!” She was panting by then.

 

That situation settle things for the both of them.

A wake up call from his own sister, who up until then had been (or so he thought) quiet and collected, was exactly what Lip needed. When things eventually cooled off between the two of them, he did manage to help her with the subjects he was better at (she really needed it), while the rest of the Gallaghers managed the remaining ones. Jimmy was a surprise, as he helped her with quite a lot, but it made sense. After all, he had been in med school.

She did get in Law School like she had dreamt, and was grateful to Lip for his help. However, things between them never went back to how they were back when Carl was still nine, she was eleven, and Lip cared. And after all this time, and in spite of having forgiven her brother, Debbie still wanted to punch him sometimes.

 

And that was one of those times.

She couldn’t punch him directly, not with Ian in front of them finding it weird, so she settle for a kick behind his leg. As he looked confused at her, she just mouthed “I will kill you if you don’t shut up.” and he went silent. She knew that since that one time, Lip had lost any guns he could aim at her ever again.

She turned to Ian. “Don’t listen to him, I’m all in favour of making new memories if you can’t recall the older ones.” And if Debbie looked at her redhead brother, she could see how happy this made him. Fucking Mickey and Ian, loving each other already but not really.

“We’re sorry Ian for all the questions. Just tell us how you’re going to get there.” Mother Fiona was back.

He shrugged. “By bus I guess.”

“Nonsense! You can’t go on a bus like that. I can take you, I was going to go shopping with the girls anyway.” Debbie returned.

Ian smiled, because he had been really hoping to get a ride. “Who are the girls?”

Debbie looked confused at first. But then she remembered (unlike Ian). “Oh right, you don’t remember them. They’re my roommates. Just don’t worry, I’ll take you to the bowling centre.”

 

Ian had been delighted and very grateful for Debbie’s offer at the time, but never mind that. He would have ridden all the buses, walked all the distance necessary, if it meant arriving in time to meet Mickey.

His sister had gone out in the morning and was yet to return, while Ian paced around the living room (and with that pain on his leg, he had to be freaking out for sure). Ian was going to commit murder.

As he prayed for his sister’s death but also not wanting her dead because otherwise no one would take him to see Mickey, the back door swung open, revealing exactly the soon to be dead Debbie.

“Shit Ian, I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell Debs, where have you been? If I knew we were gonna be late I would have gone by bus!”

“I know, I went grocery shopping with Carl, but then he wanted to be dropped at the foster home, so that’s why I’m late. I wish I could have come back sooner.”

Ian hummed in agreement.

“If I had known about Carl’s plan, I would have planned ahead. It’s true. Let me just put the groceries inside and I’ll be out in no time.”

Ian could do nothing but go along with it, so he helped her stocking the goods, and soon they were leaving. He thought his anxiety levels reached its peak by the time he saw a place with big letters saying “BOWLING”, but they pretty much exploded when he realized that the black and white dot in front of it was Mickey.

Had he not been too distracted by that, he would have seen the smile blossoming on Debbie’s face. This made her so fucking happy. Ian hadn’t been out of the hospital for that long, but what they thought would be a painful thing to watch, Mickey’s absence in his life, was turning out to be the funniest of the things to witness.

In the midst of that, she realized how she hadn’t seen Mickey in a while, and she missed him, in the way you miss a close sibling that went away. She missed her boys bickering at each other while she watch and missed Mickey oddly supporting her whole family (she was pretty sure he had had a core intervention in Carl’s search for Bonnie).

Oh well, she couldn’t talk to him like she knew his life the way she did, but managing to wave at him was good enough to get some impressions. He still had a cast on his arm, and surely his ribs hadn’t healed yet, if the winces he gave for standing on his feet for too long were anything to go by.

He looked homicidal. It wasn’t difficult to figure out why. Mickey had arrived before Ian, who wasn’t that much late, and he was hardly ever on time for anything. When he was, it meant one of two things: a) he would get paid for it (also known as arriving in time to the tattoo parlour), or b) it was something he was really looking forward to. Since Ian wasn’t paying him to be here, realization dawned on Debbie, and she couldn’t help the giggle she breathed out. Mickey really wanted to be here and Ian had no idea of that, he thought the thug felt forced into this. It was amazing.

But usually, when Mickey arrived in time for something, as soon as things didn’t happen the minute after his arrival, he started getting impatient. And it was so obvious, his face could tell no lies. At the moment, breaking Ian’s other leg probably didn’t feel like a bad idea to him. The only good thing in the midst of this was her brother beaming at her side as he shared his thanks for the ride and slowly removed him leg from the car.

 

 _Right now, breaking his other leg doesn’t seem like such a bad idea_ , Mickey reflected to himself. First of all, the fucking ginger had taken an eternity to arrive (it was actually seven minutes, but by then Mickey was ready to bolt, obviously because of his impatience, not his nervousness), but now he was taking even longer getting that casted leg out of the car while all Mickey could do was wait and chew on his thumb.

Thankfully, Ian finally managed it, waving a goodbye to a girl who was surely his sister, since they looked more than alike (though he also remembered her crying with Mandy when he first woke up at the hospital). The girl waved at Mickey, not that he replied. Milkoviches don’t wave, but despite that, she still spotted a face that was beaming like her brother’s as she left.

Fucking grinning shits.

 

Ian was so nervous, it was ridiculous. There were a lot of reasons for which he could feel embarrassed, like his leg and the need to clumsily use crutches, or the odd amount of freckles he had, or that he couldn’t take proper baths so he probably stank, but no. What really made him embarrassed was the possibility of Mickey finding him completely stupid and having no interest whatsoever. And that look of scrutiny wasn’t helping at all.

“I’d say ‘move your legs man’, but I guess that would just sound like a bad joke.” Mickey commented.

Ian obviously laughed. He probably would laugh at Mickey reading price tags if it made him happy to be honest. “Be patient. It’s good enough that I got here by my feet. Wait no, foot.”

Mickey raised his eyebrows at that. _Oh my god,_ Ian was probably in love right now. Never had he seen such a pair of expressive eyebrows. The raven haired needn’t even say anything else. His eyebrows were amazing and enough. _Can’t wait for that upper lip topping the bottom one in his typical disbelief look_ , he thought irrationally.

However, he was more right than he expected, because Mickey acted exactly as Ian had envisioned in his mind. _Well, that wasn’t weird_. He made a note to ask himself later how come he had guessed that so accurately.

 

“Keep the comebacks at my own jokes and we might get through the afternoon after all.” Mickey replied. Ian seemed surprised at himself, but he just ignored it.

“You mean not leaving out of nowhere?” The redhead retorted.

 _Touché,_ Mickey had been roasted yet again. “Exactly.” They stayed there staring at each other for some seconds, faint smiles on their lips. Only Mickey couldn’t bare for much long so he quickly continued. “Well, lets get this show on the road?”

“Yep, lets do this!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if some things are not keeping themselves accurate, it’s just that between chapters, sometimes I forget information already laid out on previous ones, and then I get different ideas, so if something feels nonsensical and contradictory, please tell me so I can correct it.  
> I’m trying to be as careful as I can with this nonetheless.
> 
> i know this chapter feels like a filler, tbh i dont know how it happened, i opened the document to write their date and suddenly i had all this back story of debbie laid out, so i parted things in two. i hope you didnt find it useless. i loved the character of debbie and i hate the unrealistic turn the writers took with her on the show, so this sort of my point on things, how i believe things would have gone, had the writers been realistic. it was a pleasure to write it, because im all about female empowerment.
> 
> but yup, next chapter is their date, and i cant wait to post it here, i hope to make it as cool as possible, and not boring.


	12. Not-Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian are finally going on a date! Wait, apologies, “it’s not a fucking date Gallagher”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS! I really hope you like how things are turning out.

Skye knocked on Anya’s office door, wondering why she had been called in. They knew each other well because of their age, the doctors and nurses who had entered the hospital more recently used to hang out together once in a while, but it wasn’t common for her to stop by the doctor’s office.

“Hey, it’s Skye.”

“Come in.” Anya sounded stern.

Skye entered, walking hesitantly towards the other’s desk. “What’s up? Never called me in before.”

“Mickey Milkovich and Ian Gallagher are what’s up, Skye. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Shit, Skye totally had forgotten that Anya was studying their case. However, she also knew that not one line of Anya’s plan included not having the couple becoming new friends. “I’m doing what I think should be done.” She set her foot down.

“And what gives you the right to do that? Seriously what the fuck Skye?!” Anya threw all politeness out of the window. “Here I am, trying to help this family whose world was turned upside down and then I get an email from Mickey’s sister saying that the both of them have met, despite not recognizing each other, and that you helped! Who gave you the right?”

“What? First of all, who do you think you are? You don’t get to talk to me like that! And second, what gives YOU the right? The right to shout at me, to act as if I’m stupid. Never once you mentioned them being forbidden of meeting each other. All you kept saying was that they shouldn’t find out about their past, not yet. What about the rest? You just want a good study case to present to the board, to already have a good investigation on memory receptors to put up in your CV, but you don’t care shit all about the rest!”

“That’s definitely not what’s going on.”

“Shut up, of course it is! You were not there taking care of their injuries, talking to them, and seeing how obvious it is why they were together. Let me tell you, it is beautiful to watch.”

“But you didn’t think about them, not really. There’s no way you can understand how this can be an unhealthy trigger for them.”

“Oh my god shut up Anya! What do you mean? That I’ve never been around patients, so I can’t distinguish what’s healthy from what’s not? Just because you own a medical degree and I’m nothing but the shitty nurse, doesn’t mean I’m stupid. You want that study case so bad you don’t even see what’s right in front of you!”

The dark skinned young doctor looked at the nurse skeptically. “And what is that?”

“That this was going to happen sooner or later! In fact, I did nothing the other day, because as soon as they both arrived to meet me, you know what happened? They recognized each other! They had already seen each other at the hospital.”

Anya was not expecting that. She had been so careful booking the appointments. Skye proceeded.

“That’s right, you’re so preoccupied with keeping them apart, that you missed them bumping into each other right here. Don’t think that I didn’t caught up to what you’re doing Anya. What you wanna study is how two people who lost their memory can get it back even if apart! I’m not stupid. However, I’m also sorry to tell you that it is too late for that. Had you been there, with them, talking with them outside of booked appointments, seeing those two men, you would understand that perhaps they don’t need to know about their past right now, I totally agree with that, but they should be put in the same room and left to be, like two toddlers who don’t know it yet, but one day will be best friends.”

Skye was right, on all of it, and Anya was starting to feel guilty. She was trying to do what was better for those men, but she also wanted to get her hands on the good case she never really got a chance to have, unlike the lucky bastards of her former colleagues. And in the midst of all that, she forgot to actually care about their lives. “Was it that good to see them together?”

“Trust me.” Skye smiled faintly. She could see she had hit Anya right where it was needed. “They just forgot I was there and started talking with each other, teasing and making jokes about the Southside. The chemistry was off the roof.”

“Fuck. I should have seen that. I hope I didn’t fuck things up for this family Skye. That’s not what I wanted.”

“I know it wasn’t. But it doesn’t change the fact that you could have already done a lot. You still got a great case in hand. They remember things! But you got to see it for yourself. You can start by not trying so hard to keep their appointments apart. Do the opposite. Trust me, it will be much better.”

“What if they realize they were once together?”

“I believe that by then, they will already be very into each other, and just feel happier about those news.”

“Maybe. I don’t know Skye. I don’t want to throw more misery at this family.”

Skye huffed at that. “And you won’t Anya. They are all on board with this. They want to have their boys back together. Do you want to go see for yourself the two of them?”

Anya eyed her suspiciously.

“For real!” Skye confirmed. “I thought they had told you. Ian convinced Mickey to go out. His sister Fiona called me to thank me for pushing them into it. As you can see, I only gave a small push, they’re doing the rest for themselves.”

“So you’re suggesting we go spy on them?”

“Actually it’s you who needs that. So yes, we’re doing that. I’ll be off duty in a few minutes, and you’re a doctor, you can do whatever. Lets go!”

Anya smiled. Skye’s infectious eagerness had conquered her. “Okay, lets do it.”

**

Trying to hide his excitement towards all this, and hoping to give Mickey the best impression he could revealed itself impossible. Ian was very fucking excited, not only at their date (no, it wasn’t a date), but at how funny they would look together trying to aim for the pins with the bowling ball.

Between them there were only three functioning arms, three functioning legs, and two half functioning ribcages, but despite that, Ian could feel this was going to be the time of their lives.

Entering the bowling center was already funny enough. Ian’s steps were much paused, and Mickey didn’t walk very fast either, because his back hurt. The blonde girl at the register eyed them with a strange look, probably asking herself what a pair like theirs was doing there. Her brow furrowed to its maximum when they approached her and charmingly, Ian asked her for two pairs of bowling shoes.

 

Mickey’s mouth was probably fully opened. He was trying to understand how Ian did it, how he managed to charm everything on his way, and make it effortlessly.

The cash register had not been felling like handing them the trainers, probably thought it was a waste of a ring. However, Ian had only said to Mickey “Let me do the talking alright? And don’t bitch about what I say or don’t.”, to which he had obviously replied “I don’t bitch Gallagher.”, and he started preparing the huge pile of shit that would soon get out of his mouth to convince the girl.

He smiled at her, a smile that would kill anyone passing by, but surprisingly, Mickey could see, as plain as water, the amount of bullshit behind it.

“Hey. You’re probably wondering what two guys like us are doing here.”

The girl had pretty much forgotten Mickey’s presence. She had her gaze focused on the one and only Ian Gallagher. The redhead was dreamy and he fucking knew how to use it. After a longer than it should be moment, she finally managed to stop checking him out and speak. “Well yes, it doesn’t seem like you’re going to do much bowling.”

Ian huffed innocently. “I know. But it’s a bet between us you know?”

“A bet?”

“Yes. My friend here and I are firemen. We were putting out a fire on the Westside but as you can see we weren’t very lucky. So Mickey here,” he tilted his head towards a baffled Milkovich, while also flashing the girl a dazzling smile, “challenged me that like this, I would never be better at bowling than him. So we are here. Can you help me prove him wrong?”

By the time he said this, Mickey’s face was something between a baffle and a smirk. He could see by the look on the girl’s face that they had won. She probably wasn’t a bad girl, but the Gallagher was mesmerizing, of course. And it’s not like something forbid them of playing bowling.

She actually giggled. “Okay, I’ll let you prove him wrong. I wasn’t going to stop you from playing, because as long as you pay for it, you can do as you please. I was just going to strongly misadvise it. But bets are bets right?”

“Exactly.” Ian smiled.

_Fucking Gallagher._

**

“Can you see them?” Anya asked the other woman.

“No, not yet. There are a lot of rings.” Skye replied.

The neurologist and nurse were on the café of the bowling center, which was located slightly above the rings, though still offering a complete view of them, eating ice creams.

“I feel like a stalker.”

The nurse laughed. “Don’t. Think that you’re a doctor doing research for your patients’ good.”

“I’m still a stalker Skye.”

“Yes, but it’s amazing to watch those two. So you have an excuse.”

“I’m still going to feel guilty. But it’s not like I’m going to leave now. I’ll just keep on enjoying this.” She concluded, pointing to her ice cream.

“And that is what I call a plan.” Skye squinted her eyes. “Oh shit, that’s them!”

**

It was a disaster. There was a reason why one runs a little bit before throwing the bowling ball at the pins, and takes their arm as far as possible while doing it.

It might not seem like a problem to Mickey, because after all, it was his left arm that was broken, but that didn’t stop the fact despite being healing, his ribs were still a pain in the ass when they wanted, and they stopped him from reaching as far behind as he could. And it made such a difference.

Ian was pretty much the stuff of jokes. The only ways he could stand were or supported by his crutches or putting all his effort and mind into standing on only his left leg. They were in round 3, and while Mickey had only taken down a total of nine pins, he was still winning because Ian had scored nothing. With no chance of running or reaching behind with his arm, it was just impossible.

“This is the worst idea I’ve ever had.” Ian remarked.

“Come on firecroth. You knew it from the start.” Mickey eyed him smugly as he threw the ball again, this time taking down two more pins to add to the one he had previously taken down. And that was the end of round three.

“This fucking sucks. I don’t lose.”

“You lose with me. I’m better Gallagher, just face it.”

“Shut up, you aren’t. You’re lucky I fucked up my leg. And don’t act like your score is that great.”

“Better than yours it sure as hell is.”

“Yeah yeah Mick, you’re the shit.”

Mickey froze at that. _Mick_. Nobody called him that, only Mandy. He didn’t know why Ian had remembered the nickname, and he was about to protest, but it just felt so… right. Foreign, like it sounded different coming out of his mouth, but right nonetheless. As if it was obvious Ian would call him that. “What did you just say?”

“What?” The redhead looked at him confused.

“Why’d you call me Mick?”

“I did?”

Mickey raised his eyebrows. “Yes, you fucking did.”

“I swear I didn’t even notice it.”

Mickey was even more confused. Why were things like this between them, so natural yet so unforeseen, always catching them both unprepared?

“I’m sorry.” Ian seemed constipated. “If it’s a big deal to you, I won’t do it again. I swear it wasn’t on purpose.”

God, this redheaded freckle was going to be the end of him, Mickey was sure of it. Genuinely looking like you cared about something was a quality not many had, but the thug was sure Ian was the personification of it. “S’okay. You can call me Mick.” He smiled with honesty to the younger.

Ian’s smile opened up in a thousand rays of lights, demonstrating to Mickey that not being defensive had been a good idea this time.

“I’ll let you be the exception.” Mickey was starting to think he was letting Ian be an exception to a lot of things.

“I shall use the name with much respect sir.” The ginger mocked, and actually bowed a little, despite the effort it took on his leg.

“Shut the fuck up and go play your round!”

 

Ian laughed and went to do just that, once again wondering why even bothering, since he couldn’t play for shit.

He took the ball into his fingers. This one had a different weight compared to the ones he had previously used, it was lighter. He positioned himself in the front, awkwardly swinging his arm behind. He managed to swing the ball a little bit better, because of its smaller weight, thus the unexpected happened. The ball didn’t immediately roll to the sides, it inelegantly and slowly maintained itself moving, going for the pins. “Holy fuck. Mickey are you seeing this?”

“What?” The raven-haired had been looking at the score board, not expecting anything different from Ian’s new attempt at not failing.

“THE BALL!” Ian felt so excited.

Mickey looked behind the tall fucker and indeed the ball was reaching the pins. “No fucking way.” He got up, putting himself beside the ginger.

“Mickey I think I got it this time.” Ian was thrilled.

“Shit, this is your big moment of glory Gallagher, can you do it?”

And as he said that, the ball indeed hit two pins, who shook awkwardly, as if they were deciding whether to give Ian the luckiest moment of his day, or just give him the bird. They hit two other pins behind, and with that, in what were some of the longest seconds of the two men’s life, all four of them fell to the ground.

A crowd watching a football match would have seem silent in comparison to the ruckus Ian and Mickey started. The first screamed “FUCK YEAH!” while the second pronounced a “BULLSHIT!”

Not even Mickey had been able to put down four pins with just one throw of the ball yet, Ian Gallagher was surely the luckiest motherfucker alive.

Ian threw his crutches to the side, happily jumping on his one healthy leg. Mickey strongly patted him on the back, but Ian saw it as a chance to hug him, while maintaining himself jumping.

“Fucking motherfucker, I’m gonna kill you!” Mickey joked while (to his own surprise) he hugged Ian back.

“Nobody kills me, trust they already tried.” Ian teased back.

“Jesus, shut up!” Mickey smiled into his shoulder.

The hug was extending itself more than it was normal, and while Mickey felt ready to pull apart, Ian didn’t seem to agree with him. As if these kind of gestures weren’t awkward enough for Mickey.

“Gallag -”

“I can’t move.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I was trying to make this smooth, but I put all my weight on you and I honestly can’t move.”

“This is a fucking joke on me.” Mickey concluded while helping Ian into a standing position.

They didn’t say anything for a few seconds, in an awkward silence.

The taller scrunched his nose, looking apologetic. “I hope I didn’t make this uncomfortable for you again. Just don’t run.”

“Worry not firecrotch, I ain’t gonna bitch today.” Despite that, Mickey’s insides were telling him to do the exact opposite, but he fought them.

Afterwards, he went to grab the ginger’s crutches, handing them. Their fingers brushed in the process, and it was fucking ridiculous. They had just hugged for fucks sake, and though it had felt like an electric beam running through his body, to just brush the fingers had a very similar effect. It was stupid, and Mickey just wanted it to stop.

 

Ian felt the exact opposite, he just wanted to keep on touching Mickey every and anywhere. Mickey was like a healthy drug.

They looked at each other after the embarrassing moment. Mickey looked both angry and meditative, but Ian knew better. The shorter man’s mouth was quivering in the way Ian knew meant a suppressed laugh, and it just made him want to laugh as well.

He didn’t have time to consider how he knew so well Mickey’s mannerisms, because not even on second later, he started chuckling, which soon became a full on laugh, and Mickey couldn’t help but follow.

It took them quite a few minutes to calm down, but when they finally did, Ian looked over at Mickey, and fuck, _that smile_. It was beautiful. It was unsettling, almost private, as if he was just allowing Ian to see it. _I missed that smile_... Not that he actually missed it, just metaphorically. But he still felt like he did.

 

Mickey wasn’t having very different thoughts. An unknown part of him kept telling him that he should miss the shit eating grin plastered on Ian’s face, but he couldn’t understand how, so he just pushed it to the side.

“I gotta give you the win for this one firecrotch!”

“Why?”

“That shit you just pulled. M’proud of you. God must’ve kissed your ass when you were born.”

Ian eyed him oddly. “I really hope he didn’t. The only one I want kissing my ass is you.” And he winked. He fucking winked after saying that.

All Mickey could do was watch disgustingly. “I should bash your head for that one. That was as cheesy as fucking Switzerland.”

Ian smirked at him. “Yup, but don’t tell me you didn’t find it funny.”

“Just shut the fuck up Ian.”

 

“You did!” Ian looked really calm on the outside, but inside, the fact that Mickey had called him Ian hadn’t go unnoticed. _Fuck yes, we’re moving forward._

Mickey was so interesting in so many ways. He was shorter than him, but showed so much more presence. You couldn’t not notice him, with his constant swearing and aggressive movements. Ian thought he had a type, but apparently his type was actually Mickey. And the fact that this not-date was probably coming to its end didn’t make him happy in the slightest. He wanted more of the shorter man. It was the only thing that he looked forward those days, while nothing in his life was certain, and he didn’t even remember his job. Mickey was on the same boat and it felt nice not to feel confused when he was with him. Even if it meant dreaming more about him.

_Mickey._

_**_

Anya looked at Skye with a beam that showed her it had been the right choice to come spy on the pair.

“Oh my god, they’re amazing.”

“I know.”

What they had just witness was as cute as couple could get. Seeing this only assured the two of them that there were only two possible outcomes to this. Mickey and Ian would either get their memories back because of all the chemistry that followed them, or they would eventually start dating again and be together in the end. At the moment, it was clear as water that apart they wouldn’t stay. And both women wanted to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've lately been feeling self conscious about my writing, I know maybe I shouldnt be saying this cuz it probably looks like I'm pitying myself, but thats not why I'm saying it, its just that i hope those feelings dont show on the fic, and im still able to write interesting things. I really dont want this fic to became boring, it is my baby and I used to have lots of plans for it, but these days i read my chapters and feel like they're not very good, especially because there are terrifyingly good works on this fandom, and im just praying that that doesnt show on the chapters I upload.  
> But if you think Im not taking this fic in the right direction, do voice your opinion on the comments, criticism is great and i ALWAYS take it very much into account. I have yet to acknowlegde here that I've passed the 100 kudos, which is great, is bloody awesome, I screamed of happiness when it happened because I love writing this fic very much and all of you who bother reading it, you're all awesome, thank you so much for showing your support.  
> Apologies for my ranting, i couldnt help it.


	13. Flashback 3, part 1 - “Damn, that’s some good drawing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, sorry I'm late!!! i really apologize for the delay, i had the biggest writers block ever, i had no idea what to write next. like, i know how i want the ending, but i dont know what path to take there, and its confusing and overwhelming.  
> i hope this chapter makes up for it though, and that you enjoy the path of mickey milkovich as an artist.  
> im still on floating ground and trying to organize what these boys need to do to find themselves and each other, but ill get there, the ideas are here, just not organized.  
> but im not giving up, i love writing for my gallavich, and im not stopping because of writers block. again, i apologize for the time it took me to put up this chapter.

(Flahback 3, part 1)

 

Mickey finished his drawing of Ian’s features and looked absentmindedly at it. On one side he always thought his drawings looked like shit, but he could also see this one wasn’t one of his worse.

The drawing was all in pencil, with Ian’s face in profile smiling. He had captured the freckles, and the different shades the younger man’s hair produced based on the sun’s angle (even if in grey instead of red). He had used a photograph of the both of them Mandy had taken a few days prior, where Ian was directing is smile at him, and Mickey immediately thought he had to draw it.

He had thought many times about telling Ian that he wasn’t shit at drawing, after all it had been one year and a half since Mickey’s big coming out, which meant they had been out and proud together for that period of time, but it always got stuck in his throat anyway. He had always hidden that from everyone, even from Mandy.

He remembered his notebooks always with some sort of portrait of the teacher that taught the class because they were the only people who ever faced him front in the whole classroom, distracting himself from the actual work and starting failing subjects. Or when Ian left for the army and the amount of old notebooks that had pretty much never been used started getting filled with Ian’s portrait from memory. He hid them very well, but he always knew where they were, knew when to pick them up.

When he looked back at them these days all he could think was how pale his idea of Ian was, how the real one looked nothing but completely different. He had managed to improve the art over time, not that Ian knew. Of course Mickey preferred to draw with the real Ian as model, but he wasn’t prepared to reveal his ability yet, so he could only draw him in his sleep. Otherwise, all he had were the photographs.

He packed his pencil and stuffed the drawing amongst the others on the drawer of the wardrobe. If he wasn’t wrong, Ian was yet to discover that that drawer existed, let alone explored it.

Of course Mickey imagined what it would be like to have better supplies. All his sketches were done in pencil (except for that one time he dared to draw a picture of Mandy in ballpoint pen and up to that day he was still very much fucking proud of his achievement), and he never had the chance to experiment other things, such as colouring Ian’s hair in all the shades of red that it turned into when under the sun and that the artist in Mickey couldn’t help but notice, or representing Liam’s chocolate skin in the adequate tones, instead of grey grey grey.

The little kid was actually the only person that had ever witnessed Mickey’s sketches. One time Ian had had a last minute thing popping up, leaving Mickey to be the only one available to babysit Liam and he figured he was too small to rat it out, let alone be taken serious, so he had grabbed a paper from dickbreath Lip’s desk and designed the child’s features. The kid had asked to keep the drawing but he had been adamant not to let that happen.

“Why you don’t paint the me?”

“What kiddo?”

“I’m not grey. You should paint me brown.”

Mickey, in one of those rare occasions in front of Gallaghers, had actually smiled. “It still looks like you. And I don’t have colour pencils.”

“Do you want mine?”

“What?”

But instead of replying, the infant just left the living room, leaving a confused Mickey behind. However, when he returned, everything made sense. In his hand was a pencil case full of colouring pencils.

“You can use those!” the black skinned child extended his hand.

Mickey smiled again at him. God, where had his manhood gone? “What if I draw you brother, what you think?”

“Yeah!”

And so he proceeded, drawing Ian by memory, but with actual colours. They pencils were shit, and not many, so the hair didn’t turn out as colourful as he dreamt of, but different from any other time.

“Wow Mickey!”

“Yeah kid. But don’t tell your brother about it.”

That had been the only time he had had the chance to draw Ian in colours.

**

“Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything!”

“Chill Ian! What got into you?” A startled Mandy exclaimed, coming from the kitchen. Her best friend looked murderous, some of the sofa pillows in his hands.

“I can’t find fuck all in this house! How do you manage? And where the fuck’s my phone?”

Mandy giggled. “You should be used to it by now. Milkoviches are messy.”

“Fucking tell me about! I need to call Fiona but apparently my phone has vanished into oblivion.”

“You sure it’s not in the bedroom?”

“I only didn’t flip the mattress because that would have been extreme.”

“Okay I believe you. What about Mickey’s old bedroom?”

“Why would it be there? We hardly ever go there anymore.”

“Yes, but you use the bathroom. Could have left it or something.”

Ian considered for some seconds. “I do bring the phone with me to the toilet.”

“Thank you so much for the picture of you shitting, Ian.” Mandy grimaced.

He smirked. “You’re welcome. And I’m gonna check Mick’s bedroom. Not like I got anything to lose.”

 

The phone was not in that bedroom either. He had checked the bathroom, the bed, the drawers, and was going to check the wardrobe but he was pretty sure that was the last place it would ever be in.

He opened it, looking through the jackets on rags. Nothing in there. He proceeded to look on the bottom, because it could have fallen. However, that part was clean except for one little detail, a rather big shoebox that Ian was sure he had never laid eyes upon. _What’s this?_ , he thought to himself.

He was having a conflict on whether he should open it or just pretend he hadn’t seen a thing. But then a thought hit him. _What if those are sex toys Mickey is afraid of showing me?_ And with that he knew that in no world would that box remain hidden in that closet without him peeking inside. Thank god Mickey was out looking for jobs.

He pulled the box out and sat on the bed, curious, and then proceeded to remove the lid.

 _What is…? Holy shit_.

Was that his face? Yep, that was definitely his face from the side, sleeping. It was so beautifully drawn, even the freckles were there. He took the sketch out to see if there were more. Underneath there were indeed more drawings. The second in line Ian knew. It was a grey in-pencil version of the picture Mandy had of her and him in her bedroom, only a few months old. The picture had been snapped by Mickey in one of those rare moments in which he would let his guard down with people besides Ian.

But the sketches weren’t stopping, they were so many. Several of Mandy, even of Debbie and Liam. There was one of Ian in colour, though the redhead could see the effort that had been done for it to look realistic with such few colour options. It still looked amazing. In the end, the biggest amount of portraits belonged undoubtedly to him, and they were each beautiful.

Ian was at loss of words, because the small signature at the end of almost every drawing that went “M. Milkovich” wasn’t even necessary for him to understand that the person behind all this talent was his boyfriend. Mickey was an artist and he had been hiding it from everyone.

As Ian came to these conclusions, Mandy barged in, probably wondering what was taking him so long.

“Hey, did you find you phone?”

Ian didn’t feel like speaking at the moment. “Hmm.”

“What? Ian.”

“Just come here.”

Mandy found his attitude odd, but went to sit with him on the bed. “Why, what’s that?”

“Look.” Ian extended her the portrait of the both of them, and then proceeded to throw her some other sketches of her face. Given the lack of reply that followed in the next few seconds, the ginger figured she was probably as awestruck as him.

“M. Milkovich. Holy shit.”

“Did you know about any of this?”

“No, not a fucking clue. I’m as speechless as you. Mickey can draw?!”

“Yes, and fucking well! I just don’t understand why he never told us.”

“Ian, it’s Mick. Like, he was already gay, do you think he also wanted his family thinking that he was into arts? That he felt like sketching instead of going on runs with my brothers? I don’t think Terry would have taken that well.”

“Yes, but your dad has been in the stint for quite a while, he should have told us.”

“Come on Ian, you can’t blame him on this. You know Mickey, it takes a lot out of him to get some things out of the system. What we need is to confront him with it, because he has some amazing talent.”

“Yes, I don’t even know how to express it. He drew so many portraits of me, Mandy. I want him to be happy and this seems to make him happy. We can’t let it go to waste.”

“I know.”

“You brother is working all this types of job to keep the house at bay when he could be making use of his talent to make a lot more money, and enjoying it.”

At his side, Mandy was contemplative. “I agree with you, I can’t even see how Mickey was the one doing this, with his calloused hands. But if we just throw this in his face he’s gonna freak out and avoid the subject.”

“So how should we do it?”

“Have you seen this?” She gave him the one drawing that was in colour.

“Yes. What about it?”

“Just look here.” The girl pointed at something in the bottom of it.

It was written in yellow, so Ian had missed at first, but now he could see perfectly. Right underneath Mickey’s signature, was another one scribbled down in a very messy handwriting, _LIAM_.

“This must mean -”

“Yes.”

“- that my brother has seen Mickey drawing! Shit.”

“Yes, Mick probably figured he wouldn’t say it to anyone because it wasn’t much of importance. But since he knows Mick draws…”

Ian smiled at his best friend. He could see where this was going. “We could use him as bait.”

“Exactly.”

**

Southside was fucking bullshit. All day looking out for jobs and all Mickey had managed was to replace a guy at the Car-Wash the following Saturday. It was going to be a tiring as fuck job and the amount of money he was going to earn was piss poor. All because he didn’t have a fucking GED. Fuck that, school always despised him more than any other student, why should he have to care about it?

He opened the door to his house, with his key, because these days they were far less secure than back in the day, and doors remained locked, hoping to find his boyfriend and go relax with him.

However, he was faced with a much different sight, as a small black boy came to hug him. “Mickey!”

“Hey little man. What are you doing here? Where’s your brother?”

“I’m here Mick.” A smiling Ian came out of their bedroom. “Fiona and Jimmy had some stuff to do and asked if Liam could stay with us for a while. That okay?”

Mickey shrugged. “Fine by me. Not like it’s the first time.”

Ian smiled back at him. “Great, because I was just waiting for you to arrive. I gotta go grab some things from Kev and Vee.”

“Meds?” He looked at him intensely.

“Yep, but not those meds. Just for the flu and shit. We’re out of it.”

“Okay, I guess I can handle the little man.” He rubbed Liam’s head.

“Awesome. I’ll be right back.” And with that Ian was out the door, smirking.

Mandy was no longer home, having to go to work, so Ian had been left to set up the plan alone. Mickey had no idea that Mandy’s bedroom door had stayed open so he could go inside again and sneak up on Mickey showing off his talent and confront him.

Firstly, Ian had called Fiona to say that he would be picking Liam up soon, saying that his actions would be explained soon enough, but that he really needed his brother at the moment. Then, when (right on time) Liam had complained that there was nothing for him to do, Ian had suggest him to go sketch with Mickey, proposing it lightly like it was no big deal, so his boyfriend didn’t get suspicious of the kid’s action.

All that was left was going into the house again and observe. He climbed Mandy’s window as silently as possible, straightening himself and going to lean against the door. Of all the bedrooms on the ground floor, they had decided on Mandy’s because it was the only one whose door didn’t squeak when being opened. That way, Mickey would never see Ian getting closer to him.

He opened the door a crack and stood still.

**

“Whatcha doing little man?”

“I’m making drawings.” Liam replied, not even lifting his head from the white paper that was being filled with odd cartoonish creatures.

Mickey’s eyebrows arched up. He remembered last time the kid had been painting and Mickey had let his guard down and drawn some stuff as well.

“You can draw with me Mickey!” Liam lifted his head this time, smiling brightly. “Your draws are amazing!”

 

 _Fuck yes._ Ian been right. Liam had seen his boyfriend illustrating.

 

Mickey reflected on the proposition for some seconds. Part of him thought it was risky, but he figured there was no one home besides them, and if Ian was at Kev and Vee’s, he would be gone for a while, lost in his endless banter, so with Mandy also busy, maybe he did have some time on him to have fun with the little kid. He liked Liam.

“Okay kiddo, what you want me to draw?”

“ME!” The infant replied excitedly, handing Mickey his own pencil and notebook.

Mickey nodded. “Sure.”

And they both sat down, Liam on the floor, Mickey on the sofa. He started sketching some of the basic features and facial structure. Mickey had lost count of the amount of drawing tutorials he had seen on YouTube. He looked at the black skinned boy, who was fixated on him, smiling.

“You can play around kid, you don’t gotta be so focused on me.”

So Liam looked down and started playing with his toys.

Mickey decided to go for a full length portrait, focusing on the details scattered around the child on the floor, to include those as well. Soon enough, he had drawn the legs and part of the chest. Since Liam was always looking down, he was sketched that way, not forgetting the car he has holding.

Ten minutes in and it was already looking like the little boy. It just needed some corrections and retouches, because things like the hair weren’t looking quite right, and filling what was supposed to be the skin with a light grey, symbolizing the boy’s chocolate skin.

“Damn, that’s some good drawing.”

The unexpected voice behind Mickey startled him so much that he produced a huge stripe all over the picture he had been so focussed on, not ruining it but making it far less appealing.

Ian.


	14. Flashback 3, part 2 - "Tatooing, Ian?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, i know i am disgusting for not posting sooner, but don't worry, I'm still here, no matter how long it takes.  
> the only excuse i have is college, which takes away my life and all my time. im also having inspiration for all other kinds of AUs, which had never ahppened, not quite like this before. some of those will will show up (or are already), around here, probably.
> 
> i hope you enjoy the conclusion of this flashback!

Ian.

That was Ian’s voice.

In the seconds it took Mickey to process things, he concluded many facts. Firstly, Ian was behind him right now observing his boyfriend doing sketches. Secondly, the nonchalant tone he used showed that it came as no surprise to him Mickey’s ability, and also proved that it didn’t bother him in the slightest Mickey’s free time activity. Thirdly, fifteen minutes were in no way enough for Ian to go to Kev and Vee’s and return without a portal between both houses, which meant that not only had Ian never left, he had planned this. Fiona was probably at home at the moment, with full ability to take care of her youngest brother.

“Motherfucker.” Mickey mumbled, not daring to move his head to look at his boyfriend. he needn’t anyway, because Ian put a warm hand on his shoulder, leaning to kiss his temple.

 

“Don’t be so tense Mick, it’s just me.” He went around the couch to sit next to his thug (or should he say artist), never taking his hand off the other’s shoulder.

Only then did Liam see his brother was in the room. “Ian! You’re back so soon!”

The redhead smiled at his brother. “Yeah buddy.”

But the child was already talking again. “Look, I’m drawing with Mickey, like you said I should! It’s his turn now.” He giggled.

“I see.” He leant to look at the beautiful sketch up close. Only then did the other man moved his own head, casting Ian a murderous look. Ian knew very well how Mickey didn’t like getting caught out of guard like this. He proceeded to ignore the stare, choosing other ways to show how there was no need to over react. “Mickey draws very well, doesn’t he, Liam?”

“Yes. It looks just like me!”

“I know. Don’t you think he should do it more?”

Liam eyed him confused. “Mickey don’t drawn things for you?”

“Not really.” Ian replied inoffensively. If looks could kill, he would be buried that precise moment.

Liam looked over at Mickey with disbelief plastered on his face. “Why you don’t do it Mick? You draw awesome! You gotta do it for your boyfriend!”

Mickey was the personification of fuming. He glared at Ian once more before getting up, throwing the notebook and pencil on the floor, and storming off to his bedroom. His old bedroom.

Ian sighted. He knew this would happen, but he had hoped Mick would at least say something. In the meantime, his brother looked utterly confused.

“Why is Mick so angry, Ian?”

He smiled tiredly. “Mickey is very shy and doesn’t like when I see him drawing. He won’t be so mad soon.”

“Oh okay. You should tell him he don’t have to be shy.”

“I know buddy, I know. But what about you? Wanna go home?”

“I guess.” The younger Gallagher shrugged, packing his things.

 

**Sent by Ian:**

_mick is locked in his bedroom_

**Received from Mandy:**

_expected_

**Sent by Ian:**

_its been 2 hours_

_i even took liam home and when i arrived all he replied was fuck off from behind the door_

**Received from Mandy:**

_im finishing my shift_

_ill talk to him when i get home_

_dont worry hes just startled_

 

A knock came on Mickey’s door again. Fucking Ian, wouldn’t just fuck off.

Mickey was pissed. Very fucking pissed. For how long had they known? Because Mandy surely knew that he enjoyed drawing as well. They had rummaged through his drawings, it was so obvious when he opened the box even though they had tried to put it back in its place, but instead of asking him about it they had to pull this shit. Using Liam as a fucking bait. If his boyfriend and sister needed to be childish like that, then damn right he would be as well.

“Fuck off.” He replied to the knock, going back to his notebook.

It was sort of infuriating, the fact that his refugee when he got mad were the pencils and paper sheets, and it remained true even when that was exactly the reason why he was mad. But worse of all, Ian was his favourite (and also the most customary) object of portrayal, so there he stood drawing the fucker from memory to calm himself down.

Fucking contradictory feelings and fucking Ian for making Mickey love him like that even when he was pissed at him.

“It’s me Mickey.” A female voice came from behind the door. Fuck his sister and fuck his boyfriend for being best friends and teaming up like the annoying duo they were.

“You can fuck off too Mandy.”

“Yeah but I’m not gonna, so you better be dressed cuz I’m coming in.”

That part of him that always hid the fact that he enjoying sketching and painting screamed at him to hide all the things he was holding at the moment, but the rational Mickey knew that it was pointless. They knew anyway.

When Mandy walked in, her brother just looked at her menacingly. However, she couldn’t do anything but smile, because there he was, pencil in hand, Ian’s face on paper.

“There you are. Drawing again. Ian did say it was awesome seeing you doing it.”

“Shut the fuck up. Since when did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Don’t play dumb Mands.”

“Bout what? That you are talented as balls? Since today morning.”

From the look on her brother’s face, that had taken him aback. “Bullshit.” He replied.

“Why would we lie about that?”

“Because you can’t pull the shit you did today if you had only discovered about this now.”

“Well, we did anyway, so if you can’t believe that, your problem. But go talk to your boyfriend because he’s feeling miserable.”

“Yep, and he better be. You like to play hide and seek instead of just confront me with this, then I ain’t doing shit all to forgive you both either.”

Mandy looked at him like he grown another head right. “You’re fucking kidding me right?? If we had confronted you, you probably would have said some shit like Iggy did it or you found it on the fucking side walk, and even pay Iggy to uphold you! So don’t go and tell me that Ian is completely guilty because this was the only way he found to show you that it’s not only completely okay that you like to draw, it’s also fucking awesome.”

Mickey stood speechless as she continued.

“You gotta start opening up about shit like this more Mick. So don’t go blame Ian. All he wants is for you to finally draw the real him instead of a picture, and not while he’s still asleep.”

And with that she opened the bedroom door and sauntered out, leaving her brother with his thoughts.

 

Ian was underneath the covers of his and Mickey’s bed, the one they had long ago adopted for each other, reading a school book. Community college may be easier than the normal one, but it was still a pain in the ass when it wanted. He didn’t stay reading for much longer though, as his boyfriend entered the bedroom, looking apologetic.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

The eyed each other for some long seconds without a word being spoken verbally.

“You really just discovered today?” Mick asked apprehensively.

“Yes. I was looking for my phone and Mandy said I should go check your room. I found your box in the wardrobe.”

Mickey nodded in response. He really didn’t know what to say to his boyfriend.

“You know that after being gay, there’s nothing more shocking you can go on about that will scandalize people. And in this neighbourhood in particular? Having a talent besides smuggling is just something people really don’t care about.”

Mickey nodded apprehensively once again.

“You can’t say anything?” This time Mickey didn’t nod. He just stood there still, looking at Ian. “Mick, come here.” The redhead continued, patting the empty place besides him on the bed.

Mickey went to Ian, snuggling besides his boyfriend, who put an arm around his shoulders and pushed him flush against his chest, kissing his forehead. People on the outside probably thought they were very rude with each other in their relationship, but it was so much the opposite. They behaved like no one would think they could, Mickey in particular, being very cuddly and intimate together. And Ian could definitely tell when Mickey was feeling distressed and unable to speak. He was definitely out of his comfort zone.

“M’sorry.” Was all he managed to say for a few moments.

“Don’t be. There are going to be so many pictures of us that you’re going to draw.”

“It was my fucking refugee you know? It still is.”

“What do you mean?”

“This was all I had in those critical times. When I understood I was gay and there was nothing I could do about it but lie, when I understood that I had fucking feelings for you and all of a sudden all the drawings were you, when you left for the army, when you returned but looked worse than ever, when Mandy got raped, when you got diagnosed, or when fucking Terry was put away for life -”

“I get it.” Ian interrupted sympathetically.

“This was the one thing that was always there, not belonging to anyone but me, and it kept me sane through the shittiest of times. Part of me always wished I could make a use of it, make it part of my life like being gay and you became, because I actually fucking love drawing Ian.” He faintly smiled at that, warming Ian’s heart in that way that only Mickey could. “Don’t think I don’t know that I have a chance on that now. But it has been just my thing for so long, I don’t know man. How to just put it out there.”

“But you let Liam see it.”

“Yes, because your brother’s a fucking kid who couldn’t care less, all he likes is that the drawings are pretty and relatable to him. He doesn’t go into deep thoughts on the meaning of all the lines or why I used an HB pencil instead of a 2B, which is something I fucking hate.”

Ian smiled at his boyfriend’s words. He sounded so into all things art.

“I just wanna create drawings without getting questioned like a fucking Shakespeare.”

“And who says you can’t?”

“Have you seen the fucking art industry Ian? Even fashion, fucking clothing, gets talked down like its not all the same in the end. That’s not for me.”

But Ian’s mind was already up ahead on his boyfriend. To be honest, it had been something he had immediately imagined Mickey doing as soon as the fact he was an artist sank in. And he knew it was something Mickey enjoyed even for himself.

“Mick, have you ever thought about -”

**

“- tattooing, Ian? You really sure about this? I’m not sure I can pull this off.”

They stood in front of the tattoo parlour, hand in hand. Yes, they did that now. Mickey was so apprehensive, the redhead smelled it miles away. But it was for the best of the reasons, because beneath all that nervousness, Ian could see the other’s excitement creeping up, the idea of becoming a tattoo artist well fixed in Mickey’s head.

Ian reckoned it probably had never crossed the other’s mind, such a career, but it was just one of those things that you didn’t see until you did, and once you did it, couldn’t stop asking yourself how come you had never thought about it.

They walked in and were greeted by a big open space with walls full of colours, though red and black stood out, a modern design with coloured furniture as well, some black, others red, or white. Articulated panels covered the whole place, and both Ian and Mickey figured behind them were the stations of each employee, and the objects allowed their clients the privacy they deserved.

The whole place was still blocked from everybody who entered by a high balcony-made-desk with a mini door at its side that was surely through where people went to get to the stations. Behind it was sitting a woman with crazily coloured hair (was it supposed to be a rainbow?) and arms heavily tattooed looking at the computer, and a man, tattooed as well, scraping something on a paper. The faint sound of the tattooing machinery being used could be heard at that distance.

The woman looked at them with a smile. “Hello. Welcome to ChINKago.”

Mickey huffed. Despite wanting to work there, he couldn’t stop finding the name hilarious.

The woman continued. “I’m Lila, this is Rupert. Are you looking to make a tattoo? Or a piercing?”

“Hmm, actually…” Shit, Mickey was really terrible with words. Was he fucking nervous?

 

Ian could see how his boyfriend was actually nervous talking to these people. It was adorable, but he needed to step in. “We’re looking for a job. I mean, he’s looking for a job.” He pointed at his boyfriend.

“Oh. A job? As what?” Lila sounded sceptical.

 

“As a tattoo artist.” _Yes, I said something!_ Mickey had finally got the words he needed out of his mouth. Thankfully Ian had understood when he had felt incapable of embarrassing himself more by just being here, but he was going to take charge now. He could do this.  “And before you ask, no, I don’t have any training, but I’m a fast learner.”

The tattooed woman still frowned. “But how do you plan that?”

“Uh?” Mickey was feeling too confused by the question to answer. There went his plan.

“He can draw. Like, really fucking well. And this would be perfect for him.” Ian started again.

“You don’t need to be so nervous alright?” Rupert, the other employee, spoke for the first time. “So what you’re trying to say is that you wanna work in the tattoo business, and you’re good with drawings, so all you need is to learn the actual tattooing process?”

“Yes.” Mickey breathed out. “I never thought I could do anything with the fact that I’m good with this sort of shit, cuz I ain’t feeling like puting paintings in a gallery or some shit, but then Ian here said that I’d be good with tattoos, and I think he’s fucking right.”

“I don’t think you ever told us your names. Though I’ve figured you’re Ian.” The woman, Lila, intervened again, pointing at the youngest of the couple.

“My name’s Mickey Milkovich.”

“Oh -”

“Yes, I fucking know, before you say anything about my name, you probably know my father, but I ain’t got shit all to do with that piece of trash, I’m just here trying to find a job I’ll actually fucking enjoy.”

“No, your dad did do some tattoos in here, but that’s not the point at all. Milkoviches are Southside, and I’m just amazed to see one out of the closet. I’m not wrong about that right?”

“Nah, you aren’t. I hope being gay isn’t a concern. I just want a fucking job.”

“Don’t worry, we have no problems with that whatsoever, quite the opposite, we admire those who’ve had the courage to get out of the closet. We do need to know if you can really draw.”

“He really can.” Ian answered for Mickey.

“I can talk firecrotch.” Mickey muttered to him.

“We gotta see that. Mind doodling a picture just here so we can see your skills?”

The raven haired had been expecting them to ask for that. After all, it was the only type of proof he could offer, since CVs were out of the way. “I guess. I can make a portrait of you.”

Lila’s eyes widened happily. “Yes, that’ll do it. Do we got any pencils and sheets around Rupert?”

“Sure.” He replied, taking some papers out of a drawer that he proceeded to hand Mickey. “Lila’s had some terrible experiences with portraits, you got no idea what you got yourself into.” He joked. The woman elbowed him in the arm.

“I can sketch a good fucking portrait.” And with that, Mickey grabbed the pencil and stared at his model, changing expression immediately.

 

Ian had already noticed how Mickey change his features when he went into drawing mode. The permanent frown turned softer but more attentive, and he muted everything around him (except when getting set up by his sneaky boyfriend). The redhead could only imagine what conditions Mickey had faced while still not giving up on his talent, like having to pretend his father wasn’t wandering around drunk at the house and shutting his burps down, or not having a desk or a chair that he could use inside his room, and therefore managing to create something in the weirdest positions, or having to be really quick because everybody would think knowing how to draw was too gay and yet he couldn’t stop doing it, even if just for some little minutes. All those details combined together in that single flash, as Mickey just stood there on his feet, perched on the balcony and silently making Lila’s face come to life, once in a while looking up at her to get the more important details.

In about ten minutes, the portrait was pretty much finished, and not perfect, but amazing when thinking that it had only taken Mickey ten minutes to put that much detail in a picture with just one lonely pencil. Ian could only stare in awe. Was it like this that Mickey behaved when he caught him sleeping in the morning, and instead of taking pictures, would just grab his pencils and quickly put as much detail into the paper as we could before it would turn too risky because Ian could wake up at any second? He just hoped Mickey didn’t stop anymore, and just continued on drawing even as his boyfriend’s sleepy form came to consciousness.

“Fuck, you’re better than I expected. You can stop now, I guess.” Lila concluded, defeated by Mickey’s talent.

The artist put his pencil down, looking expectantly.

“So? Do I get the job?”

Rupert laughed at the hope in the other man’s eyes. The amount of will to get employed that he had was definitely a point in his favour. “That’s not how it works.”

Lila developed, “As you know, we can’t exactly hire you in the spot, this isn’t just some random job, and we gotta discuss it with the rest of the staff. And you need to hand us a CV, even if you don’t want to.”

Mickey frowned at that.

“I’m sorry, I don’t make these rules. But you are really talented. I hardly ever enjoy a portrait of myself. So don’t worry. Leave us your contact, and stop by to leave the CV one of these days alright?”

Mickey shrugged defeated. If it was what he had to do, so be it. He just hoped the lack of expertise in tattooing and his rap sheet didn’t get on the way.

“Look.” Ian spoke after a while. He looked constipated. “When Mickey hands you his CV, you’re gonna see his rap sheet. And yes, he’s been twice to juvie, and had other shit that he got accused of, but that’s not all he his.”

Nor Lila nor Rupert said anything back.

“Like, Southside can get rough, as you probably know. Try being gay in that place. Mickey always had to fight that in him, even after we met, and we got into some shit and he always took the fall. Being Southside means you’re poor as shit, and you gotta scam as you can. So please don’t go judge him on that. We’re different now, we got out. And Mickey just wants a job he likes.”

Nobody said anything for a few seconds, until Lila started again. “You’re Ian right?”

“Yes, Ian Gallagher.”

“Well, you see this here Mr Gallagher?” She pointed at her arm, which was embraced by a phrase decorated with flowers.

“I don’t understand what it says.”

“It’s ‘stereotypes must be destroyed’. Done seven years ago, in Chicago’s juvenile penitentiary for girls, by the girl that had been there for the longest time, and got really skilled at tattooing. She had killed her father after spending an entire childhood getting abused by him. But the father was an influent man, so she had to pay for it. I got in there because I stole food for my family. We were poor as shit and after my mom died in a car crash, we lost half the income and never got the insurance money that was very well owed to us. But I wore dark make up and had a harsh tongue, so of course all the blame was on me. The woman who created this tattoo is right now behind one of those panels doing what she does best, and trust me when I say Helen is one of the best people I have ever met. So don’t worry, we will not judge Mickey by his rap sheet, it really just is fucking policy. We all got our luggage. In ChINKado we try to make little judgements on them.”

Mickey, the hardly ever smiler, was doing it right now, even if just faintly. This woman understood him. He was so feeling like starting working here.

“I’m sorry. I’m just worried for him.” Ian pointed at his life meaning.

“But don’t. We will see what can be done and get in touch in a few days.”

“That will be awesome.” 

**

The rest was history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: i dont know if you've noticed, but to help identification, the chapters whose titles are quotes are always the flashback ones.
> 
> love you all ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments, they lift me up so much, and every type of criticism is great for me.  
> I'll try to keep weekly updates, but no promises.  
> Hit me up on tumblr: godisafridge.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for reading this, it means the world ^^


End file.
